Would love comments please thanks.?

Question

The cherry tree

knows me well,

my thoughts my dreams,

my kiss and tell.

Experiments of love and youth,

he shielded me,

he was my roof.

We carved our names,

for all to see,

we grew beneath

that cherry tree.

The second world war

called you away,

beneath the cherry tree,

I cried I prayed.

I waited there through

day, through year,

so longing again,

your voice to hear.

You died in battle,

just twenty three,

yet I still wait in dreams,

neath the cherry tree.

Answer 1

it is a great poem. almost cried too, and i am a guy. lol. it is a great poem.  suggestions: in stead of :

The second world war

called you away,

beneath the cherry tree,

I cried I prayed.                how about

the wicked flames of war

called you away,

beneath the cherry tree,

I cried I prayed.

and for:

You died in battle,

just twenty three,

yet I still wait in dreams,

neath the cherry tree.

change it to:

you died in battle,

just twenty three,

yet you live in my dreams,

neath the cherry tree.

It is an awesome poem.  i like it a lot u r very talented. happy asking.

Answer 2

This is a lovely, simple and poignant verse....(not overly dramatic and full of histrionics).  It speaks for all the women and girls who waited, helplessly and hopelessly, for a happy outcome to their dreams.

Answer 3

that is so sweet...i almost creid reading it...

Answer 4

i like it

Answer 5

Did you write this ?

Answer 6

That is a well written poem. You have talent!

Answer 7

i almost cried reading that

it was soo good did you write it yourself?

i can just imagine the picture in my head so much that it is not just words anymore, but a real sense of feeling.

it sounds beautiful so full of meaning...

Answer 8

I love it! It's quite archaic, the simplicity and beauty of the image.

Absolutely wonderful.

Answer 9

awww...so sweet and sad too. its good. well done!

Answer 10

That was really good. You did a terrific job.

Answer 11

I'm not usually a poem person but I thought that was really nice, well done to you for being able to write so well.

Answer 12

"...neath the cherry tree." don't like this chopped version but other than that this is a really good poem. I would like to publish this poem on my website http://www.poetrybysilverongue.com/

good job well done

Answer 13

I'm never sure how to comment on something personal but here I go. It's a very heart felt poem that has plenty of room for growth (like the cherry tree). I would recommend dropping the second stanza and just use the third. Then maybe try to make every other stanza end with cherry tree to give it more of a structured on purpose feel.

Other than that I love the story being told.

Answer 14

i liked it, and some of the lines rhymed, i'm not a critic, but i'd give it 3 stars

Answer 15

Fantastic, great poem deserves to be made public