Would marry a guy who wanted a prenup?

Question

Here is why I want one:

I've been working in the construction business since I was 16 (while going to school). Every paycheck I squirreled away most of the money I made and by the time I was 22 I started my own construction business. Now I'm 35 and I have the largest construction company in my town and I employee over 75 people full time.

My reasons for wanting this is not greed, but to protect something I worked hard to build and I want to pass on to my son (his mother passed away) to secure his future.

Everything else I'm willing to share, just not my business.

Why would marry if guy who wanted this kind of prenup?

Answer 1

Yes, that's okay! I think that is the best way to go. If she doesn't see it like that, then she's a gold digger.

Answer 2

You have good reasons and I don't feel they are selfish reasons. You built this company from scratch with your bare hands and you don't want anyone to take all that hard work away from you and your child. You're protecting yourself but not only that, but the future of your child. If a man had a good reason, I would not hold that against him, but if it's just because he doesn't want me to take his baseball collection away or something like that, I feel that is petty.

I wouldn't want anyone's vengence to take that away from me, so I agree with you.

Answer 3

I signed one with my husband but I feel like he didn't trust me he said it was for his grandfather and said it wouldn't last forever well I was really young and didn't know much about it but I was in love and signed it his grandfather passed away about 4 years ago but it's still in place!

I'm no gold digger some women give us gal's a bad name!

It does hurt a little him not trusting me and all!

I guess he did it because his last wife took him for everything!

I guess if that's what you want to do because you never know what will come out I mean you do drastic things when you end a marriage I guess I mean if you cheat on her then I think she should get something because that hurts more in the long run then anything!

My husband and I will be married 5 years in Oct been together for almost 8 years in March 2009!

I'm not like that but oh well what can you do !

Answer 4

Are you asking if I would marry a guy who wanted a prenup?  It depends on the situation.  Personally I think prenups aren't necessary unless there are millions at stake.

Answer 5

You want to pass your assets and business to your son, whom you already have.  That is admirable and that you want to protect your offspring.  However, what about children you may have with your new wife?  

If I were to remarry for whatever reason, (though I am a woman), I'd insist upon a prenup in order to protect the interests of the children I already have, but put wording that would not appear to cut out any potential future children.

Answer 6

I don't know of any reasonable woman who would be against this.

If your fiancee is against this, she obviously wants your money, not your love.

This not only protects  you and your son, it also protects the people work for you. You obviously make good money and since you only want to protect your business, its not like she would get screwed.

Answer 7

I think your case is unique and you have had the goal of passing all to your son and your future wife would understand that.  

Answer 8

A prenup is a basic before any marriage, especially if there are assets from a prior marriage or any other assets acquired before you get married. If any woman does not agree to a prenup, then she is a gold digger and you are better off not marrying that person.

Answer 9

In this situation, Yes I would.

I am in a very similiar situation myself.

My BF started his business at about 22 years old, he is now 43.

He has worked his (A s s) off, I don't feel that I should be entitled to any of it.  He has mentioned a Pre-nup and yes I would sign it.

but, I am a very independent woman, I own my own home, and I have 2 jobs.  I can easily take care of myself, I am not a gold digger.

Just be careful what kind of woman you hook up with first off.

If she is independent she won't be interested in your money anyway.

  

Answer 10

No I would not but only because I am already married to the love of my life and we both went into our marriage on equal ground.  If I were to have met someone in your situation and I love that man and knew I would spend the rest of my life with him than I would sign.  I also think you are smart to ask for one.  You have a lot to protect.  

Answer 11

Look at your question and ask yourself does this make sense.  Read it very slow word for word.  Anyway, I agree with you.  Any and everything you've earned as a single man should be yours to keep.  Any and everything you've earned as a married man should be shared between the two.    

My question is....what if your son does not want to do construction?  What if he wants to teach, or be a doctor or a lawyer or carpentry?  Who will get your business then?

Answer 12

Yes, I would Marry a man with a Prenup.. Just as along if I was able to have my own prenup for him to sign as well.  

Answer 13

I am a guy but to me a prenup is something that is saying this is not going to work out and I want to be covered. I don't believe in them. It is a bad start from the beginning.A marriage should be 50-50. If you can not do that, don't get married. Good Luck.  

Answer 14

I had a prenup the last time I was married & it came in handy. You are going to get blasted here for this. Lots of women here say that a prenup just destroys all the love. Wait and see.

So curriend if you were the guy then you would cheerfully hand out $500k because its not really big money?

BN, what are you talking about? Splitting past earnings from his company ? OMG Im pretty sure thats why he wants a prenup!

Sandy Ego, either you misunderstood your lawyer or he was high. What about all of the income from the biz? That would be community property with out a prenup. Yeah you saved a few grand in legal fees. Im sure your husband will be really happy about that if you get divorced.

Answer 15

Personally, I'm against signing a prenup.. To me that's like saying, "I know that this isn't going to work out, so I'm protecting myself for when things get crappy."

However, in this case, I agree with you about protecting your son's interests by making sure the company remains in his hands.  I understand that completely.  Is there any way you can make a legal document that outlines that without calling it a "pre-nup"?  

But, I don't think you are out of of line by asking for the company to go to your son...  

Answer 16

I think a family-owned business is one of the few situations in which a pre-nup is a good idea. Otherwise, when the two of you divorced, you'd have to split the business, which would make for some potentially difficult situations. As long as you stipulate that all other assets (including past income from the business) can be shared jointly, I would see nothing wrong with a pre-nup that states that a business you owned before marriage will still be solely yours if the marriage should end.

Answer 17

Wouldn't a will do the same thing? But, as far as the question goes, I think if it were my second marriage then I wouldn't be bothered by it but my first marriage I probably wouldn't go for it.

I do understand, however. It just may be a deal breaker for me.

Answer 18

I think any women who could not understand your position is not worth your time. If you sit down and explain to her all your reasons she should not have a prob. signing a prenup. (unless she does not see your relationship as long term.)

Answer 19

My husband and I talked about getting a pre-nup; he also owns his own business that he has built from the ground up and he shared his concerns about it. We spoke to an attorney who explained to us that according to the divorce laws his business would not be threatened if we were to split up (not that I would be laying a claim on it anyway - it's his, and I respect that), so we ended up ditching the pre-nup and saving several grand. I have no problem with someone who wants to protect their assets. Find a woman who feels this way, and you will be fine.

Answer 20

Depends on the situation. Honestly, I probably would not though. I don't believe in going into marriage already considering what would happen if divorced. I'm under the thinking that I married for life, not just until things aren't working out. I know that's not how everyone is though, so it really does depend on the situation. But to me a prenup is too much of an easy way out.

Answer 21

In this day and age....ABSO-FRICKIN' -LUTELY!!  My brother did the same thing as you, however, with no prenup, but he's stashed away plenty...just in case.

You're doing well enough to take great care of whoever you marry anyway....for a long time, regardless of any potential marital strife down the road.

Just can't access the business...good move on your part!

Answer 22

Of course I would sign a prenup, but remember, YOU'LL be signing one too as I would want to protect MY interests also.

Answer 23

As someone who has been divorced I would, to a point.

My boyfriend is also self employed and owns an electrical contracting business.  I saw what he went through in his divorce, and what I went through in mine.  I would sign a prenup agreeing that all pre marital assets, like his company, I have no rights to.  That is his and he worked hard for it.  I also would not want any claims to his house.  He lost his house once and he needs something that is his.  

I would be marrying him not his assets.

  

Answer 24

A woman you loved enough to ask to marry would have no problem signing the prenup provided she wasn't left completely high and dry. Bottom line; make a provision for your wife and save the business for your son and if she is not willing to sign, then you know she isn't for you.

Answer 25

yes i would. there are so many money grubbers out there, you think their one way and they get vindictive and try to hit you where it hurts.  

I dont see anything wrong w/ it.  Put simply this is for my son and thats why im doing it.  If the lady doesnt understand then....maybe shed be one to try to take it from you anyway.

Answer 26

in that case, if it was known as soon as the relationship started, then yes i would be okay with it, as long as it was just to protect the business. However if you didnt tell me, and we had talked about marraige, and you proposed, and then decided to have me sign one i would tell you to ***** off....

Answer 27

Yes I would sign for your reasons.

You worked hard and you are trying to do what is best for your son and those who work for you.

You're asking for nothing else, so this is a noble prenup.

Answer 28

I think a prenup is a good idea. Why not cover your end, things could go sour possibly during the end, so keep what is yours. I believe you have every right to want such a matter. Just because a marriage could end does not mean your life's work has too.

Answer 29

Honestly, if I was in the same situation as you, I would get a prenup. Like you had said, you worked very hard to build your business. I would have no problem marring someone who wanted a prenup either as long as it didn't contain stipulating things besides money and assets.    

Answer 30

Sounds like you are thinking only about your son and not the woman you may marry oneday. An no, I wouldn't sign one.

Answer 31

Honestly I think if the man I was going to marry said look I want a prenup for this reason, be honest with her.  But if you say that you don't care about anything else but your business put that in your prenup and let her know that.  However if you do plan on having children with her you may want it to include that those future children will have a future in that business also.