Would this be a good start for a love poem? (thank thou)?

Question

Love poem IV

The light of Venus, grace of the skies

Shines with vigor in her cloudless eyes

And a heavenly joy doth dwell in her heart

An innocent love with no disguise...

(to be continued...)

Answer 1

beautiful, you have talent.  your form is excellent and your vocab.  not too pretentious but the peom is well worded. I think it is great.

Answer 2

i like the cloudless eyes bit but not the joy doth dwell  bit

i like it so far though!good luck writing!

Answer 3

good start

Answer 4

It's actually very beautiful.  Speaks about a very feminine woman.  Makes me want to know this girl.

Answer 5

sure why not