Would this be an unfair thing to do?

Question

My boyfriend and I are going travelling around the world soon. Without sounding resentful, I am giving up a lot more than he is in order to do this.....i.e. great job, close friends, etc. There is one big thing worrying me while we will be away.....I do not, under any circumstances, want to get pregnant. I refuse to take the pill because of possible side effect, so while we have been living here, we have relied on condoms only, and so far they have been very effective. The thing is, would it be fair to put a s*x ban on him for the time that we are away? It would kill me to have to give up everything here, and perhaps fall pregnant during our travels (cos we all know condoms aren't 100% effective), and then have to come home a lot sooner than expected. At lease if we weren't having s*x, I wouldn't have to worry about this happening. I haven't discussed it with my boyfriend yet, but please tell me honestly, is this a reasonable suggestion or not?

Answer 1

from a females point of view, yes.. men, Nope, defo not!! men have sucha high s*x drive that this will be meer impossible for him to do and pretty unfair. Y dont you look into the Coyle (sp) it is a form or contraceptive that is inserted and 1nce ther is totally reliable and chemical free, and can be left ther for as long as needd. this is what i have as i tried diff pills and they did not agree with me.

ask ur doc about it..

good luck  and have a great time traveling, x

Answer 2

It's merely a question of weighing risk vs. reward.

With the condom, no, it isn't 100% guaranteed, but it's the best contraceptive there is, with the highest success rate. 99.999% isn't too bad.

The risk of getting pregnant is very, very slim. There's no more chance of you getting pregnant than there ever was, and that didn't stop you before. If you do have to cut the trip short because of some freak accident, then you have something much greater than some travelling and sight seeing to look forward to, anyway.

Not having s*x would possibly put a damper on the entire trip for you and him both. The pent up sexual frustration you would both be feeling would put a taint, however slight, on the entire thing.

Honestly, I seriously doubt that abstaining from s*x would do anything good, and possibly some harm.

More to the point, you started off mentioning how much you're going to be giving up, and pointing out explicitly that it will be more than he's giving up. Do some soul searching. Are you sure you're not just trying to find something that will make him give up as much as you? It almost sounds that way.

My advice, for whatever it's worth, is to talk to him about it, get his feelings, and come to an agreement. A relationship is 50/50. Let him have a chance to voice his side. Don't make the decision without consulting him, at least.

Risk vs. Rewards. Being intimate on your trip has great rewards for you both, and very little risk.