Would this hurt your feelings coming from your spouse?

Question

I have been begging my husband to get a couples massage with me, because it would be romantic to do together and we are always massaging each other at home, why not get the real thing done? So, he finally comes out and tells me he would be afraid of getting a huge hard on! That really hurt my feelings, maybe because I'm 8 months pregnant..but still I wouldn't get aroused at another man giving me a massage. Would you be a little hurt?

Answer 1

Congrats on the Baby.

I can see where he is coming from, as a man we have all been faced with this delima more than one time. I don't begin to think that I know much about women, but I bet alot of you have had this happen to you also. The difference is that when a woman is aroused it doesn't "stick out" so to speak, as it does with a man. Please don't get upset with him, he had the guts to tell you upfront so obviously he loves you dearly. Tell him not to worry, if it happens it happens.  

Answer 2

My mom is a massage theripast, and she has told me stories of men getting hard ons all the time. One of her friends(a guy) gave a massage to another guy, and the guys he was massaging still got "happy"

Its normal!

Answer 3

You should not take that personal...Its just a real fear that men have to worry about...Its not any different than the same fears they went through about having to go in front of the class when they were in high school.  The ONLY reason he worries about it is because someone will be RUBBING on his body...it has nothing to do with WHO that is!

Don't be insecure...remind yourself that he is YOUR hubby, and the TWO of you are going to have a beautiful baby very soon!  It doesn't get any better than that dear!!!

Answer 4

I think every man is afraid of that happening.  

Answer 5

You know I can see how that might have hurt your feelings, but guys are gross and get aroused for anything.  I got a couples massage with my boyfriend once and I also thought to myself that he might get a ***** from it, but fortunately he didn't and that was because he got a guy masseuse.  After he had the massage he said that it was the best massage he ever got cause the guy knew exactly how much pressure to give.  Why don't you look into having a guy massage him?  He might like it.  

Answer 6

He's probably right...hey if he's in the room alone and a breeze hits at the right place...he might get wood. If you are 8 months preg (my wife is 8+ now)...then there you have limited positions for you to have a massage with. If you want a romantic massage as a couple, you might have to accept the side effects that he's talking about...I mean...Women have the luxury of not being so obvious...the therapist could be 60 years old and ugly...but she might hit that spot (like the wind)...Take Care

Answer 7

No.

Men are like that.

Answer 8

Well, at least he was honest.  I would probably be a little hurt too - and being pregnant doesn't' help either.  He probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings - but I'd let him know how you felt.  

Answer 9

yes i'd be very very hurt. men are pigs tho. most i should say. the only difference with your man seems to be that he is more open and honest with his. most other guys would have just been thinking it and not said it out loud.  

Answer 10

That is sweet of you but it sounds as if your husband has had a massage before probably recently that you do not know about in other words he would expect a happy ending and he is afraid you couldn't handle watching and i think he might be right.

Answer 11

Men can get aroused if the wind blows hard enough.  Your over reacting. He knows his body and if you hurt by him telling you this and him not wanting to go...imagine how hurt you would be if he went and he did get a hard on.  Let it go and continue massaging each other.  

Answer 12

If someone is massaging you in ways that would make your body feel good then you would like it too. It shows more on men because of the the piece they have below the belt. If he is afraid of that happening make sure he gets a guy. If it stills goes up then that confirms that its just the treatment that is making it erect not that he is unattracted to you. I think that is really cool that he told you the reasoning as to why he would not go. It sounds like you both have a very open relationship which is really good. Good Luck and I say go to the massage.

Answer 13

No. I don't think he meant he would be consciously aroused by the masseuse, but sometimes a man's p***s has a mind of it's own and it may become aroused, no matter how he tries to stop it, and that would be embarrassing for him.

I know my husband has had his respond to a doctors exam, and I know he wasn't turned on, but the mere fact the doctor was that close to it made it pop up to take a look.

Answer 14

I dont think he meant the person giving him the massage, but the massage itself. I'd likely just laugh it off.

Answer 15

Hey, you asked for it.

you kept bugging him.

he didn't want to tell you, and now you're going to get hurt by it.

not cool and completely unfair to him.

plus, I spend half my day with a hard on.  The wind blows and it's "boing".

You can't hold this against the dude.

Answer 16

Dont let your hormone take control of your emotions. Its natural for man to get aroused at another woman giving him a massage maybe see if the spa has a male massuse so you dont have a problem like that!!!

Answer 17

No, not at all. Guys get hard-ons over anything, I'm well-aware of that.

Answer 18

No, it is a natural thing for a man.  It doesn't mean he loves you any less.

Answer 19

relax la mum, i'm sure after gift birth every things going to be ok. do whatever then.

Answer 20

Simple answer, just have two massuears, a female for you and a male for him, then if he still gets a hard on, well there are bigger issues.

Answer 21

No that is a man for you....Some men rise for anything...

Answer 22

so what? my ex wife got turned on when an attractive doctor had to touch her on her stomach and probe round her body. people are just like that. its just more obvious with men than it is with women

Answer 23

I wouldn't like to think that my hubby could get turned on by anyone but me but that would not be reality.  I am not a guy so I don't know how those things work, but perhaps that may happen because the massage feels so relaxing???  What if he has a male massage therapist???  Maybe that could have the same reaction?  Emotions are a little stronger when preggo so don't let it get to you.

Answer 24

No, I think that is a natural reaction for some men...one that he cannot control  I would appreciate his honesty...and then give him a message so he is aroused by YOU!!!

Answer 25

No, I hear that is natural. But just respect his wishes and don't get them done. I wouldn't want to have a couples massage anyway. I like being touched by my husband, but no one else. And I don't want anyone else touching my man.