Would this hurt your feelings or does he just speak truth?

Question

My husband's best friend is getting married. The problem: he's my ex's brother... my ex who hates me. It took forever for my husband and his best friend to speak to each other again... and now, we've come to find out that my husband is banned from his best friend's wedding.

I tried to console my husband and said, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault"... And he said, "Yeah, it is."

Would that hurt your feelings?

Answer 1

He is probably upset but I would tell him that you understand it is your fault. Maybe he can go and you can stay home. I had to do that once....it was an awkward situation anyway but both parties were happy.

Answer 2

He is just upset.  Don't take it too personally.  Presumably, if the stuff in your history hadn't happened, the two of you wouldn't be married now, so whatever happened it was a good thing.

Answer 3

He is just upset. Tell him to go without you if it is really his best friend.

Answer 4

No, it's not all your fault. Ur hubby is the one who decided to swoop in on his bf's brother's girl ( I assume). You as his wife should be in the first place in his life. And if his 'best friend' is allowing him to be banned, then he's really not his friend, is he?

Answer 5

Yes, it would hurt my feelings, but I think he's just upset. We have all said things when we were upset that we didn't mean.

Answer 6

it would hurt my feelings but maybe he just spoke before thinking cuz i know i do that a lot but i dont think it would let it get to me [[....but if he was REALLY pissed that he couldn't go....]]

(i agree with the ummm i think 4th person that answered [[lisa somethin)

Answer 7

You shouldn't have apologized, as it's not your fault.  Your ex is a jerk, and now many people are paying the price for his juvenile behavior.  If he had any class, he would not make his brother chose between him and best friend on his wedding day!

If you believe it is THAT IMPORTANT to your hubby, your only option is to offer to stay home and let him attend alone.  

However, while your hubby was hurt over the snub, he should NEVER let anything or anyone come between you.   Talk this over calmly with him and settle this issue now.  Don't let it take on a life, bigger than it is.

Answer 8

Yes it would, but try to remember hes just angry he cant go and he is taking it out of you. Let him deal with his anger and leave him for awhile, he will eventually get over it.

Answer 9

yes it would hurt my feelings... But guys have a way of bottling things up... Most of the time they arent as emotional as we are, and im sure that he didnt mean to hurt your feelings... after all he did marry you knowing that his bffs brother was your ex... talk to him and tell him it hurt your feelings..

Answer 10

Sometimes people say things in the moment-I think once he cools down he'll be fine

I think it's pretty sad that his best friend wouldn't include him at the wedding-but family comes first and maybe your ex is hurt or whatever so he's going to do what's best for his family.

Answer 11

Sadly, it's (partially) the truth.  You're not completely to blame.  Not by a long shot.  While I don't know the full story it sounds like your ex, your husband and you yourself all have a bit of blame.  Sadly, your hubby seems really hurt at not being invited to his best bud's wedding, understandably, but at the same time all the blame doesn't lay on your shoulders.  I'd work on celebrating at another time with your hubby, his friend and his friend's wife to be.  Understand that your hub is hurting but don't let him step all over your feelings at the same time.

Answer 12

He'll apologize later. He's just hurt from not being able to support his best bud. Keep your head up--

Answer 13

yes it would hurt my feelings but men are very stupid sometimes and they don't think about what their about to say before they say it. So I would just let up, forgive him and let him have some space.

Answer 14

No, he's just being honest. C'mon, we always want them to be honest, so just take it.

Answer 15

Let it go... he just spoke the "cause of events" with bad choice of words.

Not the time to take this to heart, let him have his time to be upset and once he realizes that this "best friend" is no friend at all, then you can politely tell him that what he said hurt your feelings.

All the best.

Answer 16

yeah what a jerk

Answer 17

yea it would.

but i wouldn't blame him for saying that