I am full blown manic right now. We moved here 3 months ago, and I just got out of a very depressive episode.
Well, you know how you start getting urges to do.... risky things like s*x and spending money. Also you get the urge to be with a lot of people and just be very social.
You see, I can't fulfill these urges. I moved 120 miles from Boston. Since then I haven't been able to find a job = NO MONEY
All my female friends are in Boston = NO s*x
All my friends and the types of girls I like are in Boston = NOT SOCIAL
Don't have a car = I LIKE DRIVING TO RELEASE STRESS
Now this is irritating and angering me like never before.
A long time ago when I hit a episode of mania, I did some bad things and had loads of s*x with a lot women, spent $30k on technology, made a lot of friends, and had a car, and other things.
Over the years I managed to keep the s*x with the one girl Im with during the episode, spend no more than a month's salary, but still make a lot of friends.
This time around, I have access to none of these. Yeah i could make friends here, and trust me I have tried, but people are totally different here than in the city. The girls here are just not my type, and its kinda difficult having a job without a car here since most of the area is farm land.
The boston life was so easy, everything was in walking distant or 3-4 miles at max.
I feel like my heads about to explode, would this affect my bipolar more? Can this cause some strange "just anger, no good feelings" mania? I got all the energy and racing thoughts, but something is not right...
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