Would you Chose to miscarry or DNC? Im so scared?

Question

This is my first pregnancy, I'm 11 weeks but the baby's growth is at 8 weeks. My body is where it should be but the baby is not. I had my first sonogram done today, they told me they couldn't see the heart beat. He is giving it one more week, till the following Thursday and doing another sonogram. If I don't miscarry before then, I need to have the DNC surgery. I'm really scared! My husband is in Afghanistan and has no idea. All of his squad was SO happy to hear we where having a child. They called him PAPA WEIS! hehe! How cute huh? Anyways I don't know to much about these things and I just need some incite on which is better. They want me to take some time off, I'm just not ready to yet. I was so excited about thpregnancycy and so was he, this is just so devastating. Its hard having him away as it is, but to go through this alone, I feel is just taking a tole on me. How do I break the news to him? I know he will understand, buI'mIm sure it hard. Has anyone had this happen? don'tnt have any bleeding or crampsthat'sts why I think i have to have the DNC. There is a 10% chance the baby may live, but its not looking good!

Answer 1

Oh god, I am so sorry to hear that.

Answer 2

OK - this might make you cry, and I am really sorry but if there is no heartbeat and no growth the baby might be dead, there is a chance it won't miscarry and you can get toxiemia, which can cause serious damage to your uterus, and make it next to impossible to have future children.

If a Doctor is recommending a DNC it is for your safty and the safty of future children.  I wish I could be there to hold your hand, since your husband is away.  ALWAYS check twice and if you think the baby is alive get a second opinion. find out if your blood HCG counts are going up if so how much it should be close to doubling every week until 12 weeks. Ask the Doctor for a Doppler to hear the heartbeat, find out if his Ultrasound equipment is the 3D or better like the 4D and be comfortable with your decision, speak to church, mom and dad and if you can reach your husband then by all means talk to him.

Answer 3

The procedure is calling a D&C, not a DNC.

It stands for dilation & cutterage.

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation.

The sooner you tell your husband, the better.

As hard as it will be.

I would advise talking to your doctor and see what she advises you to do.

Answer 4

when i was 18 years old i got pregnant. i went to all my appointments, heard the heartbeat and everything. finally when i went for my ultrasound at 5 months they came back and told me that the baby had passed away 1 month before (you only go once a month in the beginning so it died after the appointment before). the told me i needed to have a D&C and made the appointment.

on december 22nd 1995 i had that D&C and gave my baby a name.

turns out that the baby had some serious defects and would have never made it on the outside so god (or whoever you believe in) choose to take the baby instead of both of us living a very hard life.

i am not saying it is easy but would you rather have them do it and you not be aware of it? or go it alone and see everything that comes out?

i hope the best for you and your loved ones.

Answer 5

im so sorry about this but a miscarried pregnancy will be hard to deal with but when u go through a miscarried pregnancy or a dnc it will be hard and if u could tell ur husband he will understand and he will always be there 4 u bc he knows that it is not ur fault that it happened i got pregnant when i was 16 and i had a miscarriage when i was about 1mth and it was so hurtful and i had mean things said to me and it really hurt my feelings SORRY 4 ur lost

Answer 6

My darling Zion miscarried about 11-14 weeks. One visit his little heart was beating nice and strong even though I'd see spotting occasionally. Last visit his little heart was still.  They did a DNC I was beyond scared. I asked to just let him pass but the doctor told me that would be too risky. I'm glad we did the DNC instead of risking anything with the natural passing. My cousin was allowed to naturally pass her baby and months afterwards when she thought the baby was totally gone, she ended up leaving walmart covered in blood and almost passing out. So trust your doctors advice.

I truly hope that you will not have to experience either of these that I've mentioned and that your baby will continue to grow nice and strong.  

Answer 7

So sorry to hear your news.

I've had a natural miscarriage and a D&C. The natural one I just started bleeding and lost the fetus the next day. Felt like a bad period/cramps, not terrible but bad. I had not had an ultrasound yet, just 7 weeks.

The D&C followed an ultrasound that showed no heartbeat at 10 weeks. The doctor offerred me the choice to have the D&C or just ride it out and I chose D&C and it was easy.

Which is best for you--do you have good health insurance that will cover the cost of D&C and can someone take you and pick you up from the hospital (it's just a couple of hours)? If so, I recommend that because it is completely painless and you can get it done with and move on. D&C is surgery and carries risks associated with anesthesia and scarring to uterus, I understand this is rare.

I'm so sorry about the possible loss of your baby. Most people go on to carry to term without problems the next time.

Answer 8

Not sure what a DNC is...

But for your own sake, try to tell your man as soon as possible so that he can emotionally prepare himself atleast a little bit.  Don't mean to be pessimistic, but just be cautious.  

Answer 9

i had the same experience... very scary. i had the same options as you and i ended up going for the DNC it sucked i wont lie but i was told that the baby wasnt going to survive regardless. I was also told that if i waited to miscarry on my own that i might bleed too much and end up in hospital. for my own health and wellbeing i chose to get it over and done with and start to move on.

DNC are a simple 1 day op and most nursing staff make the experience as painless as possible. I had family by my side which helped too.

Things will look up... things will get better and remember its never your fault its just life.

Hope everything goes well for you.

Answer 10

I'm sorry. I had this happen too. It's a very odd feeling knowing the baby inside of you has died. Honestly, my body did not abort naturally and to me that felt horrible. I had a DNC.  

Answer 11

Eat oregano, it helps promote menus (periods) thus if you are meant to have a miscarriage it may help it to happen.

I would talk to your family and friends. If possible talk to your husband. This is not a decision that should be made alone. Above all i wish you luck and may God/Goddess bless you.

Answer 12

OH sweetie, my heart breaks for you!  I have had the same thing happen twice.  Once I was bleeding before the u/s, but the other time I had no idea until we couldn't find the heartbeat.  I opted to wait a week and try to miscarry at home rather than have the D&C.  For me it was b/c I had never been under general anestheia before and didn't want to do it for this.  Plus I personally just couldn't bear the thought of going to sleep pregnant and waking up not.  

If you do opt to wait on the D&C, be sure to have your doc give you a script for something for pain.  My doc gave me Tylenol 3.  The pain was more than I expected it to be, but I was glad I was at home.  

Also, prepare yourself for the follow up ultrasound.  The doc will likely want to check to make sure everything was expelled.  It will be hard to see an empty womb on the u/s, but it actually helped me with closure.  

I would just be honest with your husband about your feelings.  He will  understand, b/c he is losing something here as well.  And I feel certain that someone there with him has been through this experience as well.

Hugs.  I'm so very sorry for your loss.  Please allow yourself time to grieve.  People will say things that will seem like they are making you feel silly for grieving, but the fact is that you have lost a child, and you must grieve that loss.  Give yourself time and permission to heal.

Hugs!

Answer 13

Do you have family near by...have you spoken to your mom or best friend.........

What do the doctors advise.........

as for your husband if you live on base go see the chaplin...he can help.

you need to talk to someone closer to home...

strangers mean well...but there are times when you won't get the best advice here......

Answer 14

i was 7 weeks pregnant when they couldnt find a heartbeat. my dr had me come back a week later for another scan also. still no heartbeat. i chose to have the dnc done only because i didnt want to walk around just waiting for the baby to come out. i wanted everything don asap.

i know its hard. i had to deal with the same thing. talk to whoever r you can about it because you will think youre doing ok... but you wont be.

2 years later and now i am 34 weeks pregnant and everything is just fine with my baby.

just know that everything happens for a reason and you will have another chance!

Answer 15

Keep praying because miracles happen.  Maybe they predicted your conception date incorrectly.  You never know and its a good sign you are not having miscarriage symptoms.  Also, sometimes 8 weeks is early to see a heart beat.  I would give the baby a chance and hope for the best.  I know its really hard to be positive right now, but things happen for a reason.  If this baby was meant to be, it will happen!

Answer 16

something similar happened to me he wasn't growing how he was suppose and the dr said the same thing that he was going to give me a week and during that week i started spotting and i went to the ER and they send me to do the sonogram and the baby wasn't attached anymore so they had to perfor the DNC. I don't know exactly how to help you but that was just what happened to me. I'm really sorry this is happening i know how it feels but it will be ok its for the best and only God knows why this is happening and remember things always happen for a reason.  This happens to many women on their first pregnancy so its nothing that you did. Good Luck with everything and God Bless You. Take care of yourself.  

Answer 17

I'm so sorry.  First, let your husband know what's going on...don't wait til after.  He should know so it won't be a complete surprise. Then, follow your heart and your doctor's advice.... I wish you the best of luck.  

Answer 18

I just went through a natural miscarriage today. Just before you make your decision, I'll tell you what I went through. I went to ER when I started spotting. I was suppose to be 9 weeks pregnant but baby measured only 7 weeks with no heart beat. And since I was spotting, the doc said I was going to miscarry. I was to go back in a week to get a rescan if I didn't miscarry. As the days went by the spotting turned to bleeding. . My cramps started yesterday. They were like period cramps yesterday. Today, they got intense, so intense, that I sat on the toilet holding my stomach and passing huge blood clots. Sorry if too graphic. Then my pain slowed down but got MORE INTENSE! I felt a 'pop' down there and rushed to the toilet and passed the placenta and baby. I said my goodbyes.

Your body is well capable of miscarrying naturally, you just have to wait. The pain can be period like cramps to heavy cramps similar to labor pains. But it's up to you. Some ladies who miscarry have incomplete miscarriages where they still require d&c to clean everything out to prevent infection. However I know a few ladies who went with d&c and got an incompetent cervix and had still births.

Just keep in mind that there are risks with both and chose the way you are more comfortable. Personally, I'd wait it out for a few weeks to make sure the fetus has died so you can never say 'what if.' That's just me.

But good luck in everything and best wishes.