Would you Consider Adoption if you were me?

Question

Im 24 happy, healthy and beautiful with a lifetime of hurt and pain. I was raped at 16 had a baby and after long processes kept him, I then married the first thing and was abused we got divorced, I did my all to attend college and the whole time was talked down to by my parents they refused to help me and a good portion of college I spent in a homeless shelter, my brother was in a accident and is a vegetable so I helped them for 6 months then my sister was in a wreck and had a broken neck I bathed her and cared for her for 2 months, I spoke of returning to college and found out I was pregnant 6 weeks later they kicked me out...My bf has no job and neither do I, because I was caring for family members, I want this baby more than anything and it could be twins......I just dont know what to do........homeless, helpless and lost, please help before I lose it....

Answer 1

I put a link of a site below that I think you should check out.. they even have a hotline number you can call.. They can help you with housing and everything you need until you deliver.. Adoption is a wonderful gift.. and you'd be a wonderful person to do that for anyone... Best wishes ♥

Answer 2

You are going to get a million different answers on this saying that you need to follow your heart and no one can tell you what you should do.

My opinion is that GOD doesn't give you more than you can handle. God does everything and everything happens for a reason. I believe that this happened to you to show you something.

If you want this baby then you can find a way to make it work. You can show and prove to everyone that you are strong and you don't need them.

It will be a tough journey getting to where you are going to need to be in 7 months before the baby comes but you can do it! You have been through alot but you have alot to offer a child. You sound like a good person that cares about others. You need to start caring for yourself.

Can't you go to your local Social Services to get help? Ours here help people get into apartments. Or maybe try going to your local Section 8. Here sometimes they pay for the first months rent and security deposit.

It is completely up to you but I think you should really think about it before you act. I went through some very tough times with no money and getting evicted constantly due to lack of rent payments but I had me 3 babies that I made sure were taken care of. We may have moved alot but they were my first priority. They never went without. I did! I don't regret one thing. I still have hard times getting by sometimes but I am still trying to get back on my feet, now just with my kids helping me up.

Don't give up, just keep fighting!

Good Luck and God Bless you and your family!

Answer 3

If you want to parent this child more than anything, then adoption is not the right option for you.  Adoption is the option for people who are unwilling or unable to parent.  

You do have a lot on your plate right now and you have quite  bit of preparation work to do.  There are resources to help you financially as well as help you stay in college.  Those resources are there to give you a helping hand and it sounds like you need one.  

Rally your support, friends, relatives and keep them close.  You'll need their emotional support as well.

Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Go to your local pregnancy crisis center, they can help you out.  I am very proud of you for not aborting the baby/babies, you are a wonderful mother.  You can also go to your local welfare department and they can help you.  There is a way to keep your baby/babies if you really want to.  Adoption is ok in situations, but it sounds as if you would regret it later on.

Answer 5

If you "want the baby more than anything" then you have to keep it or you will forever regret it.  I'm sorry things seem to be so hard.

Answer 6

I know it's hard but you need to ask your self what quality of life can you provide for that child right now? There are so many couples out there who can give that baby a wonderful life who cannot have children of their own. You could make a couples dreams come true!!! And maybe when you get your finacial situation figured out you can have another baby. Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 7

So if you are homeless and have no money how exactly would you be able to access the computer your using??! I didn't know homeless people had access to computers? Sorry, I don't mean to judge you but how could you possibly be on a computer?

Answer 8

Hi Sweetie,

It sounds like you want to keep your baby.  I must tell you what a wonderful woman you are to have survived all this and still keep trying to do the right thing. Call local services and see what ways they can help you. I'm sure you can do this if it's what you want.  I'm very proud of you.  hang in there and God Bless you and your new addition (s)

Eileen

Answer 9

wow tough life....but you know try to really think about what you really want to do because you dont want to regret it late on in life. Im sure someone else could offer your possibly twins a better life, but its never the same thing when you do not have your parents. Things may seem tough now, but you will get through it. There are many that are in your shoes and would not want to leave their children no matter  what.

Answer 10

Sorry to hear about your story. I wish I could help you somehow. But I don't think giving up your baby will help you at all.  You will regret it for the rest of your life. Can you live at a homeless shelter while you work a job to get money?

Answer 11

Here is a list of website with resources to help you keep your baby -

http://origins-usa.org/Default.aspx?page...

http://www.singlepregnancy.com/

http://www.keepyourbaby.com/

http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd...

You have been through so very much - but you are a fighter - and if you put your heart and mind into this - you will find a way.

Go to social services - see how they can help.

Do not go to anyone affiliated with an adoption agency - as they will try to talk you down - saying that your child deserves better - when in reality - this child deserves his/her mother.

Adoption is a long term solution to an often short term problem.

Adoption agency make money from babies - they want your baby.

You just need to find the best way to take care of you both.

I hope you can gather some support around you.

Contact people on the above sites for support also - they're there to help.

I wish you and your babe all the best in the world.

ETA. Please ignore those that tell you that you'll make a dream come true for another couple.

You need to make this child's dream come true - of staying with you - being loved by you - growing to know you.

You need to think about getting you safe and secure - and in turn your baby will be safe and secure.

Where there's a will - there is always a way.

Good luck.

Answer 12

bottom line?  YOU said:

>>>>I want this baby more than anything >>>>

keep your child.  adoption is permanent.  being flat broke is not.

Answer 13

WOW! Keep your head up, stay motivated, keep on going for your children. If you keep doing the right thing, things will fall into place. Then you will be able to tell your story to other women and encourage then to stay strong and fight for what is right. Reach out for help in your city as others on this board have suggested. I will keep you in my prayer's.

Answer 14

wow. first, i want to lift both of my hands of what you have just done. i mean, other people would quit their lives maye abort the babies and bad stuff like that but you, oh my, you're strong. don't lose the baby(babies). you've gone so far with these tests in your life. just don't give up. be strong for you and your loved ones and your babies. and hopefully this would be like a lesson to you to think and plan first before going into something. pray. i hope nothing will happen to you. you're not alone in your battle. you can survive this. i hope there are NGO's around you that will help you search in the net. just hold on tight and everything will be just fine.

Answer 15

no!!

Get your life together first.

Answer 16

If I were you, yes, I would consider adoption.

But you have to search your own heart, and decide if it's something you think you can do. Our son's birth mom didn't decide until she was about 7 months along that she wanted to place him for adoption - and chose us as his adoptive parents. While it was very hard for her to do it, she kept telling us that she knew he'd have a better life with us than she could provide for him. I will admire her for her courage and selflessness for my lifetime!

My best wishes and prayers for you as you make this tough decision...

Answer 17

OKAY DON'T LOSE IT. r u an american citizen? well try salvation army. they r helping my cousin which she is 18 and pregnent. and she is in salvation army. try that, they'll help u. i'm sorry that u got rapped. i'll pray 4 u. :)

Answer 18

it sounds like you have gone through alot, and sorry to hear about all of it.

i really dont think that giving up your baby will help you at all. id say to go to a crisis pregnancy center and get help. start looking for a job and have your boyfriend do the same. your prego, and your not showing, so you dont have to tell your employers. i would keep the baby if you really want it, but just make sure that you can support the baby and give it or them the life that they deserve. Please dont be selfish, and keep it when you can not take care of it. I wish you the best, and hope you get an answer that helps you!