Would you agree that this is unhealthy?

Question

I have a cousin who's 10 or 11 and his parents (my aunt & uncle) home school him. he has ZERO social contact w/ anyone. he hides behind the couch when people come to their house, he has no friends his own age, he's literally ghost white, and his mother rocks him to sleep at night.

I'm not that close w/ my aunt & uncle, but would it be rude of me to say something about their son? Or should I just keep my mouth shut?

Answer 1

Yes, I agree, but don't expect your remarks to them to make any difference. He is suffering from their peculiarities and there isn't a lot that can be done about it unless the child is being visibly abused and it is reported or otherwise discovered by the authorities.

Answer 2

Home schooling is usually a bad idea because it doesn't encourage developing social; skills and this is a clear example.  Even worse, it seems like the child may have developed agoraphobia and possibly schizophrenia.

Hard as it is, i would say that intervention is necessary, but don't you do it. Talk to your folks and let them contact the proper authorities.  Child Welfare will investigate and their opinion will be made by trained professionals with the child's best interests held in the highest regard.  I think that they will do this without revealing the complainant.

I urge you to act because this situation will only exacerbate.

Answer 3

Well...you might want to ask your mom to talk to her..only because sister to sister she may listen to her..coming from her niece...as smart as you are...could put her off some. She may pull the  "I'm older..know better" card. If you have a very close relationship then it may be ok, you'll have to gauge that for yourself but I would certainly say something. There isn't much you can do, but talking to her may help. Look up statistics about kids that are home schooled and aren't active in social activities. I know a lot of home schooled kids that are fine but the parents make sure the kids are in social activities.

The rocking to sleep at 11 is very odd. It sounds to me like your aunt may have some issues of her own, maybe ask her to get help as well.

Answer 4

hmm well I think some others up there have said this better than I can but I most certainly agree it's unhealthy do you talk to your cousin at all? or is he shy of you too? I'd like to think that when he gets older he'll be able to join activities and make friends and live normal but uhm the truth is this age is critical for developing people skills, being home schooled isnt the problem, the problem is he has no connection with anyone outside his immediate family, if you ask me your aunt is trying to shelter him and prevent him from being independent, and I know you'd like to say something but I doubt anything you say, although totally within reason, would either insult her or she would blow it off because in a sense it's questioning her parenting skills which are clearly going to damage the boy. I hope your cousin gets help soon and it's good that you care so much about him :]

Answer 5

wow yes girl that is weird!!!! SAY something!

Answer 6

I say, say something.

He will turn out, terrible when he's a grown man.

Answer 7

I have a hard time with this. I would never do this with my kids who have already entered public school.

The biggest reason I've ever heard from parents is that they do this to shelter their children from the "evils" of the classroom.

Schools give the opportunity to work in group projects, make friends, learn how to work with others. Most parents only need a high school education to home school.

I can see why your cousin is so shy and reserved, the lack of interaction is stifling to predisposed shy kids as it is.

It's unlikely that you'll change your aunt's and uncle's minds, but maybe try to get them to involve him in sports, boys and girls clubs, anything to get him involved with other kids.

You're a great cousin to be concerned!

Answer 8

They may not like what you have to say about him,but yes he needs some social skills fast,and his mother needs to stop letting him be such a baby,she is not doing him any favors are herself. Tell her if you think he is hard to handle now,just give him a few years,she hasn't seen anything yet.It is important for parents to teach there kids to be independent,tell her just think about what you have said.Remind her she will not always be there to protect him,and neither will his Dad. Ask her what will he do then?Let them know that you understand that they just want to make him happy and keep him safe,all parents want that,but to much protection can be more harmful than good.Tell her to teach him to clean up after himself,and cook and do chores,like washing his on clothes and putting them away.Tell her the more she does of this the less she will have to worry about him once he is grown.