Would you allow your children to attend?

Question

If your parents had a party and invited only the grandchildren would you allow your children to attend? Keep in mind that the grandparents are very dedicated and in the grandchildrens lives weekly if not daily. But they no longer wish the adults at holiday parties due to one family member being rude and abusive to the kids. Instead of excluding the rude person and creating issues they are suggesting only children being allowed to attend the parties. How would you feel about it? I want my kids to be able to attend but I also want to be able to spend that special time with my neices, nephews and own children.

Answer 1

I would probably speak to my parents, before making a decision on whether or not to let the children go.

I understand that your parents are trying to be fair by not obviously singling the person out who acted badly for exclusion from their party, but it is unfortunate that they are penalizing everyone else.

You and any other adults affected by their decision may want to have a conversation with them and point out how not participating in the annual event puts a damper on your holiday, and prevents you from spending "that special time with [your] nieces, nephews, and own children."

If, after speaking with them, they decide to stand by their decision, I would probably let my children go, and just start having my own annual party, which Sandi C suggested.

I hope everything works out.

I hope I helped.

God bless you. † ♥

Answer 2

Yes they are probably just want to handle a fgamily situation as dicretely as possible and still want to see their gandchildren. Throw your own party if you want to see your neices and nephews.

Answer 3

I would hope for a better solution later but for the time being I would let my children go see their grandparents. They can see their cousins and grandparents and not have to deal with the drama. Hopefully something can eventually be worked out but yes, for now I would let them go

Answer 4

Yes, I would - especially if I understood the reasoning behind the decision.  But, I would feel bad for the grandparents having to manage all of the kids all by themselves.

Answer 5

I'm going to go against the grain and say no here.  I feel that if that is the best decision my parents could come up with for solving a difficult family problem, then they probably aren't the sort of people I want my kids to model themselves after.  As the matriarch and patriarch of your family, your parents have the moral obligation to keep the family together, and we do this by learning to solve problems (or sometimes to just live with them) rather than run away from them.  Also, what kind of justice is it in excluding EVERYONE when only one person is the culprit?  Additionally, they should have some ability to handle confrontation for the good of the family.

The way to truly solve this problem is for someone in the family who is close to the rude offender, to speak to them privately and frankly, but patiently.  They should say "mom and dad were very upset last year at the (whatever) party by the way you were talking to some of the kids.  I'm sure you wouldn't mean to be rude to anyone, but it came off very poorly.  (be prepared for some defensiveness),   I understand how you feel, but in the sake of everyone getting along, why don't you just give mom and dad an apology, and try to tone it down next time?"

As a family, we have to all at least TRY to get along, and failing that, we have to just accept that some family members aren't always the most pleasant people...that doesn't mean we all go our separate ways and give up on one another.

Answer 6

I think you should let your kids go.  The grandparents have the right to invite whomever they want at their party.  I do not mean to be mean, but it sounds a bit childish to try to prevent your kids from seeing their grandparents because they hurt your feelings.

Answer 7

So why not throw your own party?  Granted, what the grandparents are asking is a bit unconventional, their reasons are valid.  If you want to spend some time with all of the family together, then offer to host a party at your house.  I would still allow my children to go to grandma & grandpa's place.  They'll probably have a blast.

Answer 8

i think that s immature to just stop inviting adults because some are rude!!! i would feel angry and hurt

Answer 9

That probably wasnt the only reason, that was probably what broke the camels back

Answer 10

let your children attend the party and later have you own party with all the family members you wish to spend time with.