Would you allow your son to play with a doll or take ballet? Your daughter to box or play with g.i. joes??

Question

How do feel about gender bending in children?? I have heard several debates about this but I am still torn.. I mean if my son wanted to practice ballet instead of karate who am I to judge that??

Answer 1

i use to get a suprise hot wheels car in my lunch box when i was in grade school.....it was FUN.....and nothing wrong with it..... lots of sucessful male dancers in ballet....your kid could buy you a house if he turns out to be the next one.

Answer 2

Sure I would. The only thing I wouldn't want my kids playing with is some kind of weapon. (A REAL weapon, not a toy one. I played with plastic guns as a kid.)

Answer 3

You better believe it....I have always bought toys (when she was older) that made her happy or comfortable. Till this day she loves those remote things....helicopter, boat, truck ect ect. Just now, they are getting more expensive....If i had a son and he wanted a Barbie, I woulda bought it for him.

Answer 4

That's a tough thing to decide, just let your son do what he prefers, if he find Ballet more interesting than Karate, it might be ok.. O.o

Answer 5

i have seen little boys in dance but ballet?  never have.  i would see if he might be interested in gymnastics, tumbling, anything but ballet.  Buy him a baby doll, not a boy or girl, just a plain ole doll. I would let my girl take boxing lessons just for the learning of protection.  How old is your son?  Does he go to public school?

he may need karate, & boxing skills if he take ballet, as sad as it may be, other kids are cruel when it comes to stuff like this. Sorry you asked.

Answer 6

I encourage my daughters to explore whatever interests them.  My 5 year old is obsessed with bugs.  She has a fish tank in her room that she collects them in to watch them.  I was a Tonka truck/Lego city building kid myself and loved every minute of it.  My 5 year old also takes karate and gymnastics.  She loves it.  Nothing wrong with it.  

However, if I had a son and he wanted to wear dresses, I'd probably put my foot down there.

Answer 7

Yes, and I wouldn't consider it "gender bending" either.

Answer 8

Well, I tried to give my daughter all kinds of toys to see what she likes without forcing her to be a stereotypical girl, and I tried dressing her in jeans and t-shirts so she could run around and climb things without having to worry about being ladylike.  But she has very much gravitated towards the uber-girlie toys, and she insists on wearing a dress almost all the time - the poufier the better. It's all about the princesses and fairies and unicorns and she's so cute about it, I can't help but support her princess habit.

But yeah, if she wanted to do karate or whatever instead, it'd be fine by me; I took some Taekwondo classes as a child and learned a couple useful things.  I might discourage sports with high rates of injury, war toys, and overly violent games, but I'd be the same way with a boy.

Answer 9

Hmm well here is a list of thing I do.

1) Author

2) Clothing store owner

3) Marksman (or should I say markswoman?)

4) I did some modeling (after I lost weight that is)

5) I also like to base jump.

Is this all not lady like? And you are right if he wants to learn ballet let him. If you don't he will never forget what you held him back from.

Answer 10

Save gender bending for the Oprah show, not childhood.

Answer 11

I have no issue if a child of mine were to try out something traditionally considered the domain of the opposite s*x.  I do not believe that children should ever be actively forced to be gender neutral: Australia has been through phases of this in pre-schools and kindergartens, and almost always leads to boys having their masculine toys of choice forcibly remioved and stern talks to the parents by the PC social engineers about the serious risks of boys choosing to be.....boys.

There are never sanctions against girls wanting to gravitate, of their own accord, to feminine toys or activities, it seems.

Answer 12

I wouldn't care (not that i have kids yet).

As long as they are having fun I guess there is no harm in it.

Answer 13

Of course I would. Most toys in my home are pretty gender neutral but my Daughter has a few cars, including a pair of race car shoes. And my son has a baby doll he carries. We use the baby to teach him"nice touch, mean touch". Caring for his Baby helps show him how to treat people who surround him.

No contrary to popular belief and what others of commented to me IT WILL NOT MAKE THEM g*y. And if they were g*y would I love them less NO

Answer 14

Yeah, it wouldn't bother me. I don't see why it should. Maybe if I was irrationally afraid of my children turning *gasp* g*y!

Answer 15

I have two daughters and it didn't bother me when they played with trucks. They're both teenagers now and they certainly are not g*y.

Answer 16

I don't mind if I had a daughter-I'd teach her how to box.  But a son who liked ballet over karate would be tough.  I'd still love him but it would take some time to accept this.

Answer 17

Yes of course. I really don't see the hang up with boys and ballet. Even 'macho' South American / Mediterranean countries revere male dancers. Joaquin Cortes a case in point. But even if there was, I don't believe we should all be exactly the same - wouldn't it be boring? I think it would be more exciting to have a child who wanted to be different and interesting and tried new things. Some people on this forum are so square it's laughable.

As for girls and boxing, I'm learning martial arts myself so that would be great. If I ever have kids I'll definitely encourage them to learn some kind of fighting method.

Like Louise I disagree that this is 'gender bending'.

Answer 18

Gender bending children, is exhibited and maintained by mainstream society every single day. Girls wear pink, boys wear blue. Girls have dolls, boys have trucks. That's the rule. But who came up with these ridiculous rules?

The way I see it, we need to balance that gender bending, so that our children have the ability to express themselves freely. If my young son wanted to wear a dress, I'd allow him to do it. If he continued to want to wear a dress as he gets older, I would talk with him about possible social repercussions. I would never however, berate him for wanting to do this.

I am yet to hear of research conducted by esteemed child psychologists, advocating that it is harmful in early childhood development for children to participate in behaviours that are not strictly allocated to their gender. Generally speaking, I only hear uneducated bigots espouse the idea that it is harmful or inappropriate.

Great question, by the way!

Answer 19

Because of the scandalizing and the ambiguity of understanding, I would prefer to have young children play with toys that are more specific to their gender. Once they're in second or third grade, they can begin to be more choosy about what toys they'd like, but prior to that, it's the parent's job to give them healthy toys to let them develop a good personal image and a solid gender identity. Of course, I also believe that a 3 year old of ANY gender has no business playing with toy guns.

In an effort to be politically correct, we often allow our children to suffer for our own guilt sense. If a 5 year old boy asks for a Barbie, he may not understand the total idea of the toy. Once he gets into second or third grade, it could become a point of ridicule and embarrassment for him. Because of that, I would generally avoid toys not aligned with their gender until they are at an age where they have some small understanding of the meaning behind the toys. Simply giving it to the child on impulse isn't exactly the best thing to do..

Answer 20

I would allow my children to enjoy life and do the things that interest them... I would suggest things for them to be involved with that are gender appropriate, however,if my child did not want to participate in that i wouldn't force it. I want happiness for my children, and i feel that supporting them in being who they want to be is my responsibility.

They have the whole world out there ready to tear them down,and judge them...

I'm here to support and love them...

Answer 21

I don't regard it as 'gender bending' if a child is doing something they want to do.  if a boy wants to take ballet, what is the point of stopping him?  Male ballet dancers have got to come from somewhere, haven't they?

My youngest son played with dolls when he was young, but he grew out of it.  However, it wouldn't bother me if he hadn't.  You can't stop children doing the things they want to do.  Plenty of girls do karate, and some boys do ballet.  There's no sense in trying to stop your children do the things they want to do.  And what is a G.I. Joe if not a doll anyway?