Question:

Would you also be pissed and Please help?!?

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It's kinda hard to explain so i'll try my best,

My mum met a man through a dating thingy and he said "he was divorced".He worked in the Navy fixing helicopters and he was like 100miles away but in the end, my mum became suspicious they had be going out for half a year or so. In they end my mum found he had a wife and two kids. My mum spoke to his wife's mother which he said was his aunt. The wife and him split up and he came back to my mum saying he loved her but after two weeks . he went back his wife. And after a little while longer he came crawling back to my mum saying he loved her and stuff and she took him BACK! But now some years have past but the most thing im PISSED off about him is that he doesn't even try to visit or arrange visits to see his kids their like 16 and 13 (i think)! Each time I bring It up , My mum is like It's not my business or its not the time or the place but i don't care about the man , i feel for his children i think he has only sent them birthday and christmas cards that's it. Not even a phone call! And he hasn't seen them in like 3 or so years!. Don't you think he should try and make an effort even if his ex-wife doesn't like him? What would you do in my situation ? Please Help!

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8 ANSWERS


  1. stay out of it...its none of your business...also take a good look at this man, he is definately not what you want when you get older...live and learn....


  2. It sounds like this man is a jerk and a bad choice for your Mom, however most people will fall deeper in love with a person that their friends and family dislike.  Perhaps it is a nurturing thing where we feel like we must protect the weak or maybe it is just because we turn stupid when we fall in love (Probably the latter :)  )  So your best bet is not to attack him.  Try to subtly point out his flaws and let your Mom catch him in the lies and/or bad acts.  This way you are not the bad guy, and your Mom will not go into mother bird mode by trying to protect him.

    If you know his kids (Like if they go to your school)  try to get them to  talk to their Mom about going after him for Child Support.  I am sure he is not paying if he does not even bother with visitation or cards.  Make sure they know that if he makes more money now then when the support was first set, they can ask for an adjustment.  The money may come in handy for college tuition which they will need soon!  This may help.  If they go after him for child support and he does not pay he may be jailed!  If he does pay, he will not have as much discretionary income and money problems can cause problems in even the strongest of relationships.  Since his relationship with your Mom does not sound all that  strong anyway, that may end it!

    Good luck!  You are a great child for looking after your Mom!  Sometimes Mom's get lonesome and they let their hearts think instead of their heads.  Just love them and keep watching out for them!

  3. maybe there is more to the situation than you are aware of with regard to his wife and kids.  I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.  Give him the

    benefit of the doubt.  It doesn't sound like he is inherently evil or anything, just a bit confused.  The main thing is that your MOM is

    happy. Don't worry about his kids.  

  4. I think he should try to see his kids, but since it's his life  not mine, I really don't get a vote.

  5. Leave it - perhaps they dont want to see him after the way he treated thier mum. He is now with your mum so time to move on, perhaps they will see him later on when you have all had time to grow up a bit and the whole situation hurts less. Time is a great healer, let your mum and him sort this one out in thier own time.

  6. its not easy but you just have to move on. holding on to stuff like that would keep you down, moody and pissed off. You wouldnt be able to achieve anything with happiness because you're holding a grudge.

    Its difficult but you just have to get on with your life...

    hope this helps..

    o yea, always be there for your mum too. she may look tough but inside her, she could be hurting...

  7. Me,I would get on with my life,Like you mum said none of your business.

  8. ...........................What?...........

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