Would you ask someone to bring a cake to your birthday party that your having?

Question

When the people are traveling two hours away?

Is it me-or is it rude?

My friend is having acombo birthday party with her friend and she asked us who live two hours a way to get her a cake? Why can't she get her own?

I know this isn't really a 'parenting" question but it is where I ask most my questions :)

Answer 1

Do they live in a rural area where cakes are typically unavailable or otherwise ridiculously expensive for no apparent reason?  Do you have a particular bakery around that has really fantastic cakes?  If the answer to these questions is no, then it boggles my mind as to why she would request that you bring the cake to her birthday party.  Is this in addition to a present, or is the cake what she wanted as a present?  Just seems odd to me...

Answer 2

ummm....yeah thats pretty strange, usually if your throwing a party you bring the cake. I would consider that cake their present and therefore not get them anything else.

Answer 3

That is absurd! I would just tell her I am not traveling with a cake, you will need to get that yourself. The only other person I might ask to get a cake for my party would be my parents or in laws even then I don't think I would, that is very strange.

Answer 4

I think she should get her own cake. It would be one thing if you lived right around the corner and she asked you to swing by and pick it up (if she had already paid for it) but it's another thing to ask you to bring one from 2 hours away.

Answer 5

I agree that it's rude.  She's hosting the party, so she's supposed to supply everything.  If it were a potluck party, it would be one thing.  But since it doesn't sound like that's the case, your friend was in the wrong.

My husband's aunt made the most incredible looking (and tasting!) cake I have ever seen for our son's first  birthday.  However, since she is quite gifted when it comes to making creative cakes, she offered to do it for us.  I certainly wouldn't have asked her to do it, though.

Answer 6

It's rude if you didn't ask what you could bring to help out. If you ask, then she just took you up on the offer.

Answer 7

What the....?

Did you ask her why you need to bring a cake to someone else's birthday party?  That is weird.  Maybe she meant bring another dessert like angel food cake, or coffee cake or something.  I would ask again.  Does she want it decorated with Happy Birthday too?  Maybe everyone is bringing some type of cake dessert, not necessarily a birthday cake.  

Answer 8

Well no i wouldnt. Its their party. So its there responsibility. But if your a close friend. Aw be a good helper, and help her out. Good luck. btw i like oreo icecream cakee :)

Answer 9

That would be weird. I don't understand either. I think cake is the least someone throwing a birthday party should provide.

If I was in a bind and intent on inviting as many people as possible -- to get everyone together, not for a gift-grab, I might ask each guest to bring a two-liter of soda or some kool-aid mix or something like that but my tendency would be to invite fewer people and have the party I could afford on my own.

That is very strange and I think you are well within your rights to call her back and ask her why she requested this of you.

On the other hand, my wealthy aunt and uncle threw themselves a 50th anniversary party, flew my children and me in so we could be there, and at the first night's party (there was a casual and a formal party over the course of New Year's weekend) they had their sons hand out a note to everyone and make the request out loud that everyone bring an appetizer to the next night's party -- even people who had traveled by plane over a thousand miles.

I was a bit put out by it but there was a Trader Joe's within walking distance so I got some nice cheese and fancy crackers. I kept the cheese cold in my hotel room ice bucket while we got ready. Then the daughters-in-law (my cousins' wives) who put out the buffet got pissy because the outer packaging of my cheese was damp.

Duh.

  

Answer 10

If I invited YOU to a party....I'd get my own flippin cake.  

I'm with you on this one.  Seems a bit rude to ask you to bring the cake.

Answer 11

Depends. My Mem always makes all the cakes for family parties because she makes amazing cakes and loves doing it. She would be almost offended if we didn't ask her.

That being said, she lives much closer, and since you are unhappy about being asked, I'm guessing you are not in the same situation. In you case, I would say that it's absolutely rude.

You didn't decide to throw this party, and you have no obligation to bring any of the setup items. That includes balloons, drinks, decorations, and obviously, the cake.

Answer 12

well that is a little rude she could get her own an be happy that you came...  i am sure that she will have a cake anyway of alll people she asked you????  I would bring a little girft or someting but you should not HAVE to bring a cake.    TO me it sounds like this girl is not thinking of others

Answer 13

Yes, that is very rude.  I wouldn't bring it.  It's not your responsibility.

And if the person throwing the party lives in the middle of nowhere, it's called going to the corner store, getting a couple of boxes of Betty Crocker and making their OWN cakes for the party.

I never bought a cake from a bakery for any of my sons' birthday parties.  I always make two cakes - one chocolate and one white.  And decorate them myself.  

It's cheaper, more tasty and more of a homey touch.  My son loves helping decorating the cakes.

So back to the original question:  YES, very rude and unnecessary.    I wouldn't bring one, and I would let her know about it.

Answer 14

There are some things you just don't do, and I would think this is one of them. People give to others out of the generosity of their own hearts, not because they are asked to do things. If you feel you must keep this friendship without hurting your friend's feelings, I guess I would do it and just consider the source that she doesn't know any better in asking such a thing. Maybe you could stop at a bakery or a grocery store who has a bakery, or Walmart, and pick one up before you get to her house. Yes, I would call this being rude, or stupid, or just plain self-centered on your friend's part.

Answer 15

Uhhhhhh.... yeah, that's kinda rude...

It would be understandable if she lived in the middle of no-where, or had one ordered and you could pick it up because the shop was on your way to her house, and she planned to pay you for the cake when you got there... but asking someone to get your birthday cake for your birthday party??!!???

Hmmm... something wrong there.

Not cool...

Answer 16

If you didn't throw the party, you shouldn't be forced to buy the cake.  Yes, it is rude to expect this of you, and if I were in your shoes, I'd skip this begging party.  

Answer 17

No, it isn't rude, what would be rude is bringing an ice cream cake. From two hours away. In the summer.

also answer

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 18

I'm sorry but I don't think its rude. First of all, how good of friends are you? You're travelling 2 hours to come to her party, so you must be really good friends. If that's the case then, why would you mind getting a birthday cake for someone you care about? So what if you're travelling 2 hours. I brought 3 cakes from where I live to my dad's birthday party (7 hour trip) I did it cause I love him and it never occurred to me that I wouldn't want to do this.

Now, if this is just a fair weather friend. Someone whom you really aren't that close. Okay, I guess it's a little rude... maybe. But who cares, it's her birthday and she asked you to do this one little thing for her party. It's supposed to be bad luck to buy your own cake. Maybe she's superstitious.

I say, just do it and stop complaining about it. At least she didn't ask you to bring the booze.

Answer 19

Ah yeah it's not you, that's kinda rude. It's understandable to ask for cookies or something, but the cake is sort of supposed to be the responsibility of the host. You should ask her why she can't get a cake herself to be sure.

Answer 20

If it's her party, why would you have to get the cake?

I don't understand.

Answer 21

You are right, it is rude. A person throwing a party should never expect or ask guests to supply food like that, unless it is something predetermined as a potluck. A birthday party is definitely not a potluck, and it is the responsibility of the host to take care of everything - especially the cake! I mean, a birthday cake is a huge part of a birthday party. I don't understand why they would even WANT to leave it up to somebody else to take care of. Not only that, but asking somebody who not only should be a guest, but lives TWO HOURS away. That is ridiculous.

If you have not already, I would politely decline regarding the cake. Heck, the fact that they asked you to take care of the cake in the first place, to me is even a good reason for declining to go to the party period. It seems obvious that they are just looking for handouts and gifts, and wanting to do as little work as possible themselves. (At least, that is what their actions make it seem). A party should be for celebrating with people you care about, not EXPECTING anything in return.  

Answer 22

If you are buying a cake, just call into Safeway or something around your friend's house, then pick it up. Yes, I think it was rude of them to ask you to bring a cake, unless you are a pro or something...

Answer 23

It is certainly a strange request.  Does she want you to actually BUY the cake?  (Which would be extremely rude, and I would definitely refuse ...)  Or is she, perhaps, asking you to pick it up from the bakery. (Maybe it's on your way into town and she's busy with party  prep?)  If the latter, it's not unreasonable, and if you I was a good friend, I would do her the favor.

Answer 24

Well it is a little out the ordinary to have to bring her a cake to her party. But where Im from when u go to a party you offer if you can help or if you need anything. You bring a dish or decorations. Maybe she handled all the other details with the party but can’t afford a cake or she likes the cake where you are 2 hrs from.

But if she is your friend y not ask that question… ask “you cant you pick up the cake where your are? I don’t think the cake will hold up for the 2hr ride?”