Would you avoid a extended family cruise to have a stress free vacation with your own family?

Question

Ok, My entire family is planning a cruise next summer. I was planning a cruise with my husband and two p*****n boys before this was brought up. There are certain people in my family that have been extremely hateful openly even in front of my kids towards me. I made a choice to avoid family functions, so I would not end up in tears every holiday. So now My brother has told me these 4 people will be attending this cruise. I feel I will be stressed out, hurt, and unable to enjoy my personal family if we attend. The down side is I look like the bad gal. I tried for years. What would you do. Should I pass, should I go

Answer 1

I would tell them that you had already planned a cruise with your family and not go with them.   why spend all that money to  have a stressful time.  You will be stressed before during and after the cruise. and if your told you don't have to see then or spend time with them then why even give it a chance.  yes the ships are large but you still run into them.  good luck

Answer 2

Explain to your brother that you don't want a conflict with these family members to ruin the event for everybody else and decline the invitation. It's honest, to the point, and there's no need to start a web of lies with fake excuses like being too sick to attend.

There is no reason why you should have to go through that, and by going on a vacation with just your kids and spouse, you can work on the relationships that truly matter.

I hope whatever decision you come to, you have a great time.

Answer 3

YES pass it up!!! I just wasted my vacation with in-laws...they were hateful and rude in which my kids were affected. you kids deserve all happy memories dont let anyone ruin it.

Answer 4

Yes, yes & again yes!!!!

My family is the same way. I can think of about 3 family member who would keep me away from something like this. They use to visit along with other family members for a weekend. When they would leave I would at times be in TEARS due to the stress. It was horrible. I still dread getting together with them & not to long ago one of the mentioned us meeting somewhere this fall! UG!

Time with family is suppose to be fun and relaxing. If it is going to be stressful & cost a lot of money I'd say pass it up.

Be honest. Tell them you were already planning something. Tell them you are sorry about this but it just won't work out.

if you can talk to some other family members. I'm sure they feel the same. I finally talked to my sister about this & she too feels the exact same way I do about 2 of these family members. I WAS SHOCKED. She hangs out with them the most, laughs and honestly I was jealous at times that she seemed to get along so well with them. But she too gets so stressed out with them.

Now, if you do have to go I wrote something just for situations like this & I use it all the time. It is called : KILLING THEM WITH KINDNESS.

My father read this one time and he told me he knew just who I was talking about in our family. lol He told me later that "IT WORKS!" lol He too felt the same as I do.

I know how it is to be the BAD GIRL or as I say "The black sheep!" It is awful but as my husband pointed out:

We are your FAMILY and it is time to focus on what is BEST FOR US and not THEM.

Your family: Your husband & kids should come before these other people. Esp. if the way they act will HURT them.

YOUR KIDS are not blind to this either. My kids have asked questions about why these family members acts this, or talk like that. They see it no matter how young they are.

Here is the link. Please read it and hope it helps. Do what is best for your husband & kids. Not what is best for people who hurt you. I know it is hard. I deal with this a lot with my own extended family. Thankfully they live far away. lol

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article...

leave me a comment in the comment box below it if it helps.

Answer 5

Oh plz. Me personally I was always the one who ppl said avoided the family and didn't care much for them because I was in love. However, i always said we each have our own lives, and on top of that My BF did more for me and cared more for me than my family. You should definitely attend your original cruise with your kids and hubby especially since those rude family members are attending. I'm the type of person who would out right make up some BS excuse just to let them see "d**n straight i don't wanna be bothered" Don't let it bother you, i have a difficult family as well and whenever they're in town i deliberately leave town hoping they get the point that I don't want to see them.  

Answer 6

PASS

If they don't respect you why should you waste your time and life on them your not a kid anymore they can't force you to do something you don't want to do.

Say your not feeling well or something

Answer 7

I would pass and enjoy your time with your family