Would you be annoyed?

Question

I've a very difficult few days (and nights) with my daughter. Needless to say I am absolutely exhausted. The house is looking a little worse for wear also. Lovely hubby said "well, we will just have to buy a play pen so that you have somewhere to put Lucy while you get things done"

My first reaction was "ok...let's do that" but it wasn't long before I reaslised how much of a cop out this was on his part and how unfair it would be to little Lucy.

Has anyone else well meaning partner done anything similar?

Answer 1

yes id be very annoyed. i dont think there is anything wrong with putting your daugther in a play pen, but why cant he watch her?!? or help with the cleaning. why is it your job to "get things done"

you just need to tell him that you would feel better if he just took her for a few hours to let you get a nap/clean/relax/do whatever you need to do and besides it would be a good bonding experience for them

Answer 2

yeah, IMO babies come before cleaning. You can tell him either you watch the baby while i clean or I'll watch and play with baby while YOU clean and see which one he picks. he needs to have a part in something that has to do with home

Answer 3

Yes husbands tend to be "fixers" but the baby cage is a cop out. He can spend time with the baby (child?) and give you time to clean or take a break. I also like to remind myself that dust keeps and babies don't.

Answer 4

Husbands are usually fixers.  They hear a problem and instead of just listening and being supportive or sympathetic, they "fix it".  My husband and I have an understanding though, when there is a problem that I DON'T want him to fix I start with a prefix..."ok, just listen, don't fix" and then proceed to tell him my story/problem.  

As far as putting your daughter in a playpen, don't feel bad.  They are a blessing, as long as she doesn't live in there.  My son loved it.  I would just put some toys in there and let him sit and play so I didn't have to worry about where he was and what he was doing.  I'm actually in the process of unpacking and looking forward to getting the playpen out for my 8 mo. old so that I'm not worried about what she's getting in to.

Best of luck in both situations.

Answer 5

i do not think it was a "cop out" just a lazier solution..i think it is a very god idea.that way when you are both busy..

Answer 6

lol.  I don't want to go husband bashing here but sometimes I think they just don't get it.  My hubby is the same way and he legitimately thinks he's being helpful.  Then I "turn it around on him" (as he says it) and making him feel guilty.  Just tell him what it is you need.  Whether its to watch the baby for 20 min so you can get a real shower or to please do the dishes while you bath the baby...whatever it may be.  

Answer 7

I would be so annoyed ys just dont seem to get it sometimes. I'm sure you already are super mum but a little help wouldn't go a stray!? maybe ask him if he can give you more of a hand around the house as you are a little tied up with your baby.

and dont stress if the house is not perfect

Answer 8

Yup, mine does the same thing. I don't really know what to do either. I try to talking to him, and he says he'll try to help out more and then doesn't. I guess that's just how guys are. I think it'll get better as your daughter gets older though.

Answer 9

I don't think it's bad to put the baby somewhere and distract them with something so you can get stuff done. In most situations, there's really no other option. I'm a single mom, and if I didn't turn on the TV for an hour a day and let him sit in front of it, nothing would ever get accomplished.

But, I do see where you're coming from, I think..because he said "so that YOU have somewhere to put lucy while YOU get things done"

He could have offered to help!!!