Would you be mad if someone?

Question

Yesterday I took my kids and a friend to the aquatic center in our town. They found another girl they knew and I bought them all an ice cream cone. I work at this girls school so she knows me. After the fact I thought I should have asked her parents/adult she was with. I did ask her if she had any dairy allergies and she is 9 she is old enough to know. I work at her school but have never met her aunt who she was there with. Her older brother (about 12) walked up to get her and I ask him if it was ok and he said "I guess".

I realize it is done and over with, what i am wondering is would you be mad if your child told you the adult worked at their school and was buying for her own kids as well?

Personally my kids do not run around the aquatic center, they stay in my sight so I would see if someone was buying them food.

Answer 1

I have went through this with our kids all summer.  Kids show up at our house, I vaguely know who they are and then we walk down the street to the ice cream place I take them all and treat them as well.  So far none of the parents have complained, however if they did with my mouth I would probably ask them why their child was at my house in the first place without them knowing where they were.

Answer 2

honestly yea i would have been upset becuase u didnt ask me...becuase the child could lie to there parents and say they did know the person and didnt really and they become sick or die...no a days u cant trust ur kids with anyone because of all the drugs and children being killed..... but on the other hand she should not have been letting her kids run around to get snatched up or hurt

Answer 3

I don't see a problem with it, especially if you and your kids know her. If she was a complete stranger it would be a different story. Maybe the brother was just irritated because she got ice cream and he didn't?

Answer 4

I'm the easy-going type so it wouldn't bother me, and I'm sure I've probably done the same thing at one time or another without even thinking about it.

BUT, there's some pretty overprotective parents out there who probably would make an issue.  

The world's a wierd place where we're constantly second guessing ourselves for a simple act of kindness.

Answer 5

It was just an ice cream for cryin out loud, you weren't trying to get her into your car to take her home. You knew the child, you even asked about any food alergies, which I am sure at that age she would be well aware of, so don't sweat it. You were just being polite.

If it was my child I would simply ask if they said "thank you".  

Answer 6

If I spent that five minutes looking frantically for her, yeah I'd be upset.  Also, my 6 year old has type 1 diabetes and that could've been a disaster.  She would've said no to an allergy, but I dont know if she'd have spoken up about the diabetes.  She's not independent with it yet, and food and insulin is just done for her.  

I would probably be equally upset with my kids though, maybe even more so, having taught them to always check with me before "going off to... (insert activity here)" or otherwise having a change in plans.

You're right if you could've had a do-over it should've been different.  Kudos for recognizing that mistake, and learn going forward.

Answer 7

It bugs me when other people offer my children food without asking me first, but they are younger than 4. but I also think its the gaurdians responsibility to interfere (or notice!) when food is being offered to their children. I wouldnt worry about it, its just an ice cream cone.  

Answer 8

I wouldn't have a problem with it if it was an adult that I knew.  I agree that a 9 year old would be old enough to know if she had food allergies, but in hindsight it would probably been better to have her go and ask her mom if it was ok.  My son is a little overweight, and I don't really like him having snacks if it is too close to dinner time.  But if you ask him if he wants an ice cream he will say yes even if he knows we are fixing to go eat dinner.

Answer 9

You were just being polite!  These days people take things too literal.  Who frickin cares what the aunt, mom, or brother thinks!  The 9 year old know if she can have ice cream!  You did a nice gesture.  There is no need to apologize or feel guilty.  Whatever happened to the days when all of this was ok and everyone smiled and said thank you?

Answer 10

I would not be mad. I think its a nice gesture. As yes, by 9, they should be well aware of allergies as while they are at school, they cant be watched 24/7

Answer 11

i think that she should just watch here kids and not let them run around , you were kind  

Answer 12

Since you did not know the adult the child was with yo WERE a stranger to her and you should have okayed the ice cream with the adult, not with the brother.  Maybe the aunt didn't want the kids to have ice cream.  The adult was responsible for the girl not the brother.  

Answer 13

It doesn't matter if you know *her*.  Does her parents know you and do you know them?  I think if my child being 9 years old and was offered a cone from a school mom that I *knew* and occassionally talked to, then fine.  If you don't even know the parents, then you should have asked her to go ask her parents.

I'm surprised you asked if she had dairy allergies.  I never would have thought of asking.  But then again, yes a 9 year old is capable of saying "no thanks, I'm allergic to dairy."

Answer 14

If she had had an allergy I would think she would have told you, she is old enough to know that. But I understand you where just trying to be nice. If she had an allergy and something had happened I think I would have been mad that you didn't ask first. But considering that nothing happened and everything is ok, I wouldn't worry. Just remember for the next time it happens to ask first. I mean if it makes you feel better you could contact who ever she was with to tell them you where sorry you didn't ask first but you just weren't thinking about it till afterward.