Would you be mad if your family watched you have severe postpartum depression and psychoses and they did nothi

Question

and and your mother in law visited you and you told her what you were thinking about and she just cared about taking care of the baby for you and you came close to taking your life at one point. finally my husband said your going to the hospital, 5 MONTHS down the road after telling him you were talking to somone last night. A month and a half on antidepressants and antipsychotic drugs and I am all back to normal. But my first 5 months with my son were a living NIGHTMARE. She never was compassionate, she acted like it was my fault and i told her the most because she was over so much, and she did nothing but want to take care of the baby!!!!!!!!! Would your feelings not be hurt? Am I wrong in being like what the heck family, it got dangerous looking back!?!? Is it not your familys responsibility to suggest help when somone is massivley deopressed and psychotic!?!?

Answer 1

If you expect people to care without regard to their own interests, you are in store for many disappointments.

That's life.

Answer 2

Don't take this the wrong way, but there is an amount of personal responsibility that you have ignored in your statement.  You need to point the finger at yourself.  Did you research the changes that having a baby would make on your body?  I'm sure you were aware that this depression existed.  Did you seen a doctor since you gave birth?  (before getting help) Did you talk to him about it?  You are a parent now, and it's time to act like one.  Accepting blame and working through it is much easier than having bad feelings because you blame someone else.  If you accept responsibility for yourself and your child at all times, then you will have better control of your life.  The best of luck to you!

Answer 3

I was mad, and I still am sometimes.

My husband and the rest of my family dealt with my severe depression after our son was born this way.  They became totally disconnected from me and really just abandoned me, never asked how things were going, never came over anymore, never called, never helped with the housework I couldn't bring myself to touch, never said,

"Sarah, something is wrong, this is not you, you need help, let me help you."

Or.....

"You need help, and whether you want it or not You are getting it, we are making you get it, for the sake of your life and your family."

Instead, one Friday i got this.....

"I'm taking Eli and I am leaving, I got an apt. for myself and we are packing up right now.  I don't believe you can change."

After a year of NOT TALKING to me about anything.  For me when depression grabs hold I don't notice it, it happens so slowly that it begins to feel as though that is my normal.  Only after i have gotten on meds, which are a must for me, can I see how deeply into that hole I had fallen.

I was able to convince my husband to give me and our family another chance and started meds the next day, now I really can't even remember most of my sons first year, I was THAT bad.  It still makes me angry, the fact that they as people who loved me shirked their duty in helping a fellow human being.  I am trying to get over that.

EDIT:  I also have accepted personal responsibility for my part, which was the LARGEST part in this equation.  I don't say I blame myself, but I should have been aware enough to realize something was going on and worked to get MYSELF the help I needed.

Answer 4

Yes, post partum depression is a very serious thing. I would be mad and hurt. Unfortunately this happened to you, fortunately you got the help you needed. Sometimes people avoid things they do not understand. Try to be sensitive to ignorance and do your best to be a great mommy to your new baby now that you've taken care of your medical issues. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't be a good mother now. Educate them on what happened to you. Maybe they'll understand it more and feel bad about the way they treated you in the past.

Answer 5

Its hard to say, not knowing the entire situation.  Your mother in law may have felt she was helping you, by helping out with the baby.  Maybe she thought if she took some of the stress of taking care of a baby off of you, that it would help.  

Honestly - it sounds like they did the best they could.  They may not have been aware how severe you were.  I know severe postpartum depression can go undiagnosed for a while.  Everyone assumes its just the "baby blues" and you'll snap out of it on your own after a while.  Its good your husband helped you get the help you needed.  I know its hard, but try to move on - its in the best interest for yourself, your baby and your family.  I don't know the whole situation obviously, but its great you are feeling better, and it would be great to fully move on - continue counselling if you still have some unresolved feelings, that may help.

I wish you the best of luck!!

Answer 6

Yes. I can sympathize. When I was a teenager, I got to a really scary point in my life too. I thought people could see through walls, read my mind. I thought I levitated at night in my sleep, thought I saw demons all the time.. lots of crazy stuff! I told my grandmother (who I was living with) and she did nothing. I felt very alone and scared all the time.

Thankfully, and somehow... I worked through my own depression.

When I look back it does bother me that no one would help me. I know I must have looked crazy to many people... I probably didn't have had to tell anyone. And yet no one did or said anything.

I'm glad you got through your bad time and I'm sorry you went though that! I'm glad your husband was there to finally say you needed help.

Just look forward to the good things now. You have a little baby and husband that I'm sure you love and loves you.

Best wishes to you and yours!

Answer 7

You have every right to feel how you feel.  Your feelings are real.  

Keep in mind, though, that, just as you did not know how to deal with or diagnose your depression as it crept up on you - your family may not have known what to do, either.  Unless they are trained psychologists (and even if they are, but were just clouded by their own fears, expectations, human fallibility), they were probably just as scared, confused & lost as you were at the time, just trying to figure it all out & hold on as best they could.  

It's quite possible that taking care of the baby was the only thing that your mother in law thought that she *could* do in the situation.  

Congratulations on finding your way back to the 'you' who you want to be for yourself & for your family.  It sounds like you have a lot to be proud of in looking back on your path to healing.

Answer 8

Well yes an no.  Sometimes no many times the ones closet to us  don't see what is really there.  Even when and if we tell them they don't want to believe there is a problem.  The same is true with any mental illness.    My wife told me she felt depressed about three times and I ignored it because she didn't seem depressed to me I thought she was over reacting.    So when family believes what you say or sees the signs yes they should suggest help, but often they don't see it or hear your words.