Would you be offended if a NON-BELIEVER wanted to use your place of worship for a wedding?

Question

I saw a question from a woman in the Weddings forum. She had never been to a church before, and she was wondering how to go about booking a church for a wedding.

I asked her why she wanted a religious service if she had never been to a church before. She replied that she thought the old churches in her area were beautiful and had a "magic feeling" about them. She expressed no interest in learning about the faith of the church, much less adopting the faith as her own.

How would you feel about such a person wanting to use YOUR church (or synagogue, temple, or other holy place) for a wedding? Would it make a difference if they paid a substantial fee? What would make it OK?

I have an opinion about this, but I want to hear from you.

Answer 1

I'm fine with it. It is actually quite common in the UK. We aren't as religious as Americans in the UK. Only 40% believe in a Christian God and only 30% attend church but 70% of marriages are held in churches. People prefer a traditional church wedding to the setting of a registrars office. The church in my area prospers because they offer their services for weddings. If they didn't do this I doubt the parish would be able to maintain itself.

Bonus question: It makes no difference to me. I'm not that big a fan of discrimination, intolerance and persecution.

Answer 2

Personally I think it is a 2-way street ! I know some Christians that go to church  every Sunday, and twice during the week !  They want to see who is there, wearing what, or with whom, just so they can go home and gossip about it !  To me, they are worse than the girl who is honest in saying she doesn't go . . .  

Answer 3

I wouldn't be offended, but I wouldn't understand the point of it, either, unless they were able to state a specific reason for it, like the young lady you mentioned did.  In that case, even though I wouldn't have a problem with it, many in my community would, and I suppose it would be up to the clergy to decide to hold the event or not.  

Answer 4

No, it would not matter to me at all.  I believe in God, but don't go to any church, and even if I did it wouldn't matter anyway.  Of course, it would be okay if they were a different faith or even no faith at all.  It would be interesting to see how people of different faiths do their weddings.  Who am I to judge them? People can believe or not believe as they see fit.  That's their business, where they do it, does not matter to me.  

Answer 5

I wouldn't have a problem with a non-believer wanting to get married in the "church" where I attend.  It's just a building after all.  And no, I wouldn't expect them to pay a higher fee than anyone else.

I would have a problem if the wedding party wanted to conduct services according to their own religion.  If they want a ceremony based on their own belief they should go to their own masque or building.  Anything less would be disrespectful to both my place of worship, and to the other religion as well.

Answer 6

If the fee the bride pays to use the facility helps some people in the congregation whats the problem? Maybe she will find her faith later on and as she had her wedding she may choose to use your church/ synagogue/ temple at a later date. Just because someone is a NON BELIEVER doesn't mean they are inferior and money is money no matter who it comes from.

Answer 7

I am a Southern Baptist and I know our church is used for the weddings of many non-believers.  My feelings are that we should not turn them away from God's house.

On the bonus question.  I think a person of another faith wouldn't want to get married at the Baptist church.  They would get married at their own place of worship or a neutral location like a park or country club.

Answer 8

I don't think I would be offended. I sounds like the woman isn't looking for a religious service, merely a special place to have her wedding.

I say ask God. Unless He says, "No." then it shouldn't be a problem.

If your church is defined by an edifice then the woman wanting to get married isn't the one that's confused.

Answer 9

I'd rather see her married in God's House than not!!

Some clergy are much more lenient about things like that than others.  As a funeral director, I run into the same type of thing with non christian or non church going people wanting to hold funeral services in churches they don't belong to or have any connection with.

In Ontario, from my experience, the United Church would be the one  Church most likely to agree to it.....but possibly with restrictions.

It would pretty much be a given there would be a hefty clergy fee, church fee, janitor fee.

As for some of the other "non christian" religions you mentioned.....you'd probably find they wouldn't want to get married in a church.

Personally, it's God's house and I think He would welcome all if it was up to him!

Answer 10

To me it would not matter, I don't go to church myself but I was married in a church. Hubby said it did not matter to him and the pastor said it was fine with him so there you are. I do have faith and I do believe God exist, I just do not like church. Once again, my opinion is private about church and God.      Poppy

Answer 11

Nope!

Answer 12

God never turned away " so-called non believers" or those of different faiths. Why would I?

Answer 13

Yes that would be fine with me.

Answer 14

Nope

Answer 15

What? That is seriously narrow minded thinking. Who cares? It doesn't affect anyone. A church is nothing more than a building. You best get your thinking straightened out. That's the same as being racist.

Answer 16

i think it is ok ,GOD knows how to draw you into his bosom. so why not she just might fall in love with GODS house

Answer 17

I think part of the deal to rent the church should be a really GENEROUS donation to said church. At least as much as renting an elegant, picturesque non-religious location.

Obviously religion means nothing to the bride so let her pay for it.

Answer 18

My bro is getting married in a Catholic church so that his future kids will have the option of going to the school. The Catholic school has good results in his area. I know some people have an idea that God has got the oven on for non-believers, but surely nobody can begrudge children an education in the best school available?

Your last paragraph is slightly indicative of your opinion lol  

Answer 19

No I wouldn't.

Answer 20

I think why not.  Religion is magical and if she can feel the magic, then what is the harm.  I am sure places of worship have been used by other religions.  Some people who have services on Saturday share a building for Sunday. My daughter was not able to get married in the Church of her choice because she was not a member.  They had family members on both sides who went there.  The pastor relented after they mentioned that.  My daughter declined at that.  We paid a substantial fee for another church.  The fee is just a rental on the building for utilities, cleaning and use.  Just like a hotel room.

Answer 21

No big deal to me.  It happens frequently.  The difference is my pastor would not perform the ceremony for non believers.  If they were a not a member of the church they would be charged much more than what is charged for members.

j

Answer 22

I think it happens every day, and yes there is usually a substantial fee involved.

It's a building, designed to hold large groups of people. Big deal.

Answer 23

A building is a building -- just don't leave a mess nor use tobacco or spirits  (out of common sense respect---- same as visiting anyones home).