Would you be offended if your fiance?

Question

Would you be offended if your fiance gave you an engagement ring that he had previously given to an ex?

Answer 1

I thought about it and yes, my first reaction would be negative if I found out that the ring had previously given to an ex.  Not the reaction a budding groom wants.

Frankly, my guy was smart enough to wait to get the engagement ring until I could pick what I want.  Our tastes are dissimilar (I prefer antique, he prefers what looks to me as gaudy).  The ring he has from an ex will actually be refashioned and given to his daughter when she is a little older.

Answer 2

It kind of depends. If it was a ring that he just walked in and bought at Osterman's, definitely. If it's his great-great-grandmother's diamond set in a new setting, or something like that that's very important to him, no.

Answer 3

Absolutely. This tells me that he doesn't really care about what I would like or my preferences and just wants to save money. I think it is indicative of his overall character as a person.

Answer 4

yes, id definitely be offender.

I mean he could have gave it in and got another one at the least:S

Answer 5

Yes I would be offended. Because when he saw that ring he thought of ______ and their future. My fiancé once told me that when he saw my engagement ring for the first time he knew it was the one for me. And that it was the one he wanted to represent as his love for me, and our future. I thought that was very sweet but I think that is true... it should be something that made him think of me and our future when he first sees it.

Answer 6

Yes, very much so. If he is in financial woes, he could just exchange it for another design that you would like. No excuse on the re-gifting of such an important gift.

Answer 7

No! I would feel special because it means you mean more to him than they do, i get offended if my fiance doesn't give me that stuff, my fiance had a necklace he's given his ex and he through it away, i felt so hurt because i felt like it meant the trash can was worth more than me because it was good enough for her but not me, because i knew he'd loved her... it hurt.

Answer 8

MY MAN KNOWS BETTER THAN THAT....HE WANTS TO LIVE:)

Answer 9

Unless it was a family heirloom, yes I would be offended.

Answer 10

I think I would be offended.

I'm pretty practical and I *might* want the ring if it were a style I really loved.  Hard to say for sure.  

Answer 11

That would be so wrong!

I'd kick his a*** to town and back

The last thing you want at your special moment is to be having his ex as a permanent fixture as the symbol as your relationship commitment

Answer 12

I would think it was a bit tainted and ask that we trade it in for one in "MY STYLE" rather than HERS.

Answer 13

I would be offended and I would not accept the ring.

Answer 14

Yes, I would.

Answer 15

LOSERS-R-US...that is so freaking Tacky!!! Ugh what a turn off!! At least sell that one and buy a new one with the money

Answer 16

It did happen to someone I know . . . and she was happy with it!

She will tell you she got a beautiful ring . . . and she got the man too!

She looks at it like she got both ring and man.  Ex got nothing.

So some women are happy with it.  All a matter of attitude.

Answer 17

yes...I would be offended....that is just ..bad taste, not cool, improper.

Answer 18

Very much so!  I would want something that he picked for me, not something he already bought.  All he would have to do is sell that other ring and use the proceedss for a new ring.  

Answer 19

yes very offended. its not just a ring. its a commitment, you cant just buy one ring and figure you can use it over and over when things don't work out. wow. i'm sorry but he's pretty stupid if he can't see anything wrong with giving you his ex's engagement ring.  

Answer 20

Not to smart on his part.

Answer 21

He wouldn't have given me a used ring. We would have talked about it beforehand and I would have made it clear that I would rather have no ring  than have a re-used ring. He would have definitely known my views on the issue before the engagement.

Answer 22

You bet I would be!

Answer 23

i wouldn't be impressed that's for sure, but in all honesty i can't say why it should bother us.  its in all likelihood a beautiful ring, and he is giving it to you the girl he hopes to marry, so why is it such a big deal to us women?  lol  

its the male/female thing - they don't think it matters, we do, and none of us can really give a rational, logical, unemotional explanation for our feelings!  

Answer 24

this is a very intresting Q.

i would say yes. ( i am engaged) )

it just shows that he doesnt care enough to take time off of his time, and look for a ring that "I" should be wearing rather than giving me a ring that once belonged to an ex partner of his.

Answer 25

Yes I would be offended and not accept it, in fact I probably would not accept the man either if he thought so little of me that he could foist his ex's discarded ring onto me.

On the other hand if it were an heirloom and handed down throughout the family from generation to generation then I guess you would have to accept it in the tradition it was given in.

Answer 26

I don't think so, but then again, the ring I have was something my husband bought quite a while before we started going together.  His thinking was that since he hoped to marry someday (and no he didn't have a girlfriend at the time), he wanted to buy the ring when he could afford it.  He got it from a store that has a fantastic exchange policy, so it could be exchanged for another ring if needed.  When he proposed to me, I knew the history behind the ring and it didn't bother me at all.  In fact, I really like the ring and it didn't even have to be sized.  We've been married for six years this year.

Answer 27

I wouldn't accept it. I would say ''no, I don't want to marry you''

Answer 28

it depends. actually if he has the sufficient money to buy a new one but just skips that ; i will be offended. yes.

but if he'sd in financial trouble, i wont mind it.  

Answer 29

yes i would...id feel better if he gave me one of his old rings i had to wear on a necklace until he could get you one he bought for YOU (if he didnt have the money)

Answer 30

of course i do get offended...hey,even if he does have financial difficulties, den he should explained to u n delay the buying of the engagement ring...but not by giving u his ex...tats his past u know...don u feel tat he is treating u as his ex... he didn't even get rid of the ring...is quite sad thinking bout it... if he is sincere,he should not do tat to u... its so hurting!

Answer 31

I think it's unconventional (to say the least) but when you really think about it, the ring is a symbol of his love so I would probably accept it happily. I'd certainly hope if that DID happen, he'd have the decency to at least talk to you about it so you aren't surprised if someone recognizes it and makes a comment.