Would you be offended?

Question

I recently had a baby and my workplace had a collection and bought some gifts for us - I don't know what these are yet as my friend from work said "oh don't worry about posting them, I'll drive round to see her" anyway - long story short, she keeps cancelling on me in favour of her "work fling" (actually he's my stand in while I'm on maternity) nobody approves of their relationship - he's a nice guy but awful to her!

Another colleague offered to bring the gifts but she refused to hand them over maintaing she would see me first but she still hasn't - other collegue came empty handed yesterday (though was lovely to see her nonetheless!!)

Anyhow, I just emailed and asked her if she could get the gifts to me before Tues as I'm taking my son into work and would like to be able to thank my colleagues for the gifts!

Is that rude of me? I mean if they have bought him clothes, he'll have grown out of them by the time she turns up!!

Answer 1

YES

Answer 2

She seems to be acting very oddly, very strange 'refusing to hand them over' doesn't she trust your colleague? you would have thought she would be glad that you were receiving them at long last. I don't think you are being rude at all, the gifts as you say 'if clothes' will be useless, what a waste of money. Well maybe you can embarrass her when you arrive on tuesday with the help of the colleague she refused to give them too.She sounds like a very silly girl

Answer 3

You're not being rude at all but your colleague should had bring the gift by now or at least hand them over to somebody else.  I hope she reply to your email.

Congratulations for the baby and all the best!

Answer 4

Not in the slightest. If people make you a promise they should keep it, and you work mate shouldn't drop you for some work fling. That's rude and stupid (especially if he's a total **** to her). I don't blame you I would say this exact same thing.  

Answer 5

It's not rude of you; however, maybe you can have your husband or a friend drive over to your work and pick them up.  Don't let the insensitivity of your co-workers upset you during this extraordinary time you are sharing with your newborn - besides, babies do sense tension so just take the high road and put that chore down as finished.

Answer 6

No I don't think you are being rude at all if anyone is being rude it's her, I find it hard to believe that she has them and wouldn't even pass them on for someone else to take round. I'd be wondering if she still has them if it were me and yes I'd be tempted to go to your workplace early and it would then show her up and then in the future the other workers wouldn't trust her and rightly so.

Answer 7

well u ar a  little rude      sorry

Answer 8

Congratulations on the birth of your baby.  I hope all is well with you both.

Your 'friend' is acting a little childishly (not to sound insulting to children) - and also a bit of a control freak.  It's a shame that none of your co-workers have the kahoonas to tell her to deliver them to you or they want them back so that they can deliver them to you personally.

If she is dating your replacement, there would be little point in making a big deal over it with her.  Just be patient and be gracious when you do get them.  Hopefully, they will have gotten gift receipts too (they may still be valid) and if the items are too small you might be able to exchange them if they are clothes.

Good luck - you don't really need this right now do you?  Having a tiny baby and all the emotions that go with it is tough enough x

Answer 9

No.  Not rude at all.  It's ABSOLUTELY the best thing you could say to her.  It gives her time to not embarrass herself in front of the other work friends.  If this still doesn't elicit the gifts before you visit them then I think perhaps she has stolen them.  It's nothing really to do with you because she's stolen from the other people at work so I wouldn't worry about it (apart from the fact that you didn't get the presents) but it will enrage the people at work to discover they've paid for gifts for her and not you!!  When you visit them, thank them profusely for the prospective gifts.  Say all the things to them that you would have said if you'd received them and then leave your work colleagues to get them back off her. With luck she will bring them in to work on Tuesday and you can open them then.  She's not someone to be trusted is she.  Be wary of her.

Answer 10

i'd go in to work early than expected and when ppl ask you if you liked the gifts tell them you havent had them, it sounds to me like she isn't really your friend or she has given them to someone or sold them on. i dunno but what other reason would she have for not coming round if only for 10 minutes to drop off the prezzies, go to work and make her look like an idiot. xx

Answer 11

If you don't get the gifts before you go into work tell everyone thanks I just haven't got the gifts yet from (your friend).

Answer 12

No I don't think you are rude but I do think your colleague is very rude and selfish.  Take your baby to work and explain how you haven't received the gifts yet and show them what a b**ch she is being.

Good luck and enjoy your baby.

Answer 13

You weren't rude, she is being incredibly rude...if I were her co-workers I would simply take my gift and give them to you myself.

Answer 14

I don't think it's rude and she has put you in an awkward position. If she is your friend she should understand how you feel. Just tell her you would feel like an idiot if you went to work and didn't say thanks or even know what they got you

! If you don't get them by the time you go to your workplace, then just explain to them that she hasn't given you the gifts yet, but that their thoughtfulness is really sweet and when you get them you will properly thank them.

Congrats and wish you a beautiful life with the new baby.

Answer 15

I think she is being extremely inconsiderate, and I don't think it was rude of you to send her an email. She shouldnt have volunteered to drop the gifts off if she couldnt be bothered.

Answer 16

With a bit of luck she won't bring them then you can really show her up when you tell all her colleagues at work that you still haven't received the gifts they paid for!!!!!

Answer 17

Gawd, if she's any kind of friend she'd make time for you and your baby and come to see you. I'm just a kid and  I know that's rude. Congratulations on your baby :) She's being pretty out of order as far as I can say. With any luck she'll turn up before Tuesday.

Answer 18

yer i'd be offended! you sld tell you're friend to get her priorities right! x

Answer 19

I know where you are coming from.  When you stop work to give birth, the life of those who have not, are more or less the same, except that you are missing.  What is so very important in your changed world is trying to hold on to who you are and what was the way before this absolutely enormous bombshell which has exploded your whole universe.  Other people's universe has remained the same and though you are just waiting for them to see the Mum you have become and share it with you - of course adding your baby to the equation because you used to be one person and are now two - has made things so dramatically different in your own life that you yearn for how it used to be and to see the people you needed before.  I found it very lonely in a way once I had my first daughter.  In the end my children took the place of others and became my closest friends.  After a while you will realise that what you used to have in common with the people who do not keep in touch is no longer relevant to your life and you move on.  The 24/7 nature of caring for a baby puts you into a completely different headspace and although the people you are hoping to join you and keep you sane in my experience do not.  You are now the only person who can do this and will have to be very very strong.  You will find you have moved on well past the experiences you used to find interesting before.  Hope this is helpful and good luck.  This is just the beginning.  I hope you, like me find more worthwhile paths to follow.  Good luck.  Being a Mum is the best thing ever in my life and I hope it works out that way for you too.  

Answer 20

No its a bit rude what she is doing. I would be well annoyed if I was you!!

Mind you in one of my previous jobs we had all raised money for one of the directors wedding presents which i was intrusted to go and get from the wedding list.  I got it fine, got it gift wrapped and got the card signed etc.

i got off the train at the wedding destination and suddenly realised it was still sitting in my flat.  Oh well I brought it in for them when they got back off their honeymoon lol

Answer 21

No I think your quite right in asking. It's not fair on the other collegues who put money for this gift.