Would you be upset if your fiance chose a computer over you?

Question

I am in a long distance relationship. Countries apart actually and I have been in this situation for three almost four years. He proposed to me after one year and we have been engaged for almost three and he still has no savings to come be with me. I keep trying to tell him that we won't have a chance unless he saves money and currently he is the only one that can because I am still in college and my money is going towards my loans.

I obviously don't mind waiting for him and I love him very much. The problem is he has some money saved and he has a little crack in his laptop and wants to buy a new which will blow all the money he has saved. I told him that I thought it was a bad idea for him to waste it on a new computer because I want him to have money saved up for next year when I graduate so that we can start our lives together. Its become a huge fight but I think I am right I think that if he wants to be with me he will save his money.

Would you be upset if you were waiting years for someone and they blow it on a toy?

Answer 1

If his computer is being used for a job, or school then I would be understanding, but if it's just a commodity and not an essential, then I would be super mad. And if the case is that he is using it just to write emails and go on websites, then I would break it off to let him get his priorities straight.

Answer 2

Yes i would be really upset- and if he still went ahead and got it even after me trying to get him to see reason Im pretty sure I wouldnt bother waiting round for him.

Answer 3

yea but boys are stupid you just got to get used to their decisions in life. he is wrong about this situation... hes gonna be stubborn and not realize it

Answer 4

If its a crack that doesn't change the way the computer works then you are right.  If it affects his work then he needs a new one.  but after 4 years of this, is he really worth waiting for?  

Answer 5

um let me think....yes yes ans YES! it sounds like your not as big of a priority as you should be. maybe he has just gotten used to things being long distance and maybe by moving in with you he knows he WILL  HAVE TO marry you...which could be scary. lose him. seriously. there is this great book, "hes just not that into you" you are worth someones time....so go out there and find the man thats dying to be with you every second of the day!!!!!  (ok, not literally)

Answer 6

Well you said it was a "little crack" in his laptop. Little cracks don't break laptops, I mean they're built to withstand measures like that. So unless it's completely broken or on the verge of exploding, then he has no reason to spend it on another laptop. I mean, if you think about it his laptop is one of the main communication sources between you both, so maybe he feels that's why it's important, but meeting you (the real deal) is much more important. You have to remind him that if his laptop is more important than meeting you, then you are certainly not waiting much longer for him. I mean, this is very strong and committed of you to be in 4 year over seas relationship with this man, and if you two are that close to having a life together, he better not choose that laptop.

Answer 7

Yes! I would be upset!  You must be very strong to stay in a relationship for that long and be so far away.  Good luck and if it's ment to be, he wont chose his computer!

Answer 8

My friend, you need someone who can afford a new laptop and come and see you also.  This doesn't sound good that you are involved with someone who has so little resources.  I am sure that you deserve better and I would seriously stop wasting your time and energy on this one.  Get out there and meet someone who will meet your needs.

Answer 9

Since you are online right now, I am assuming you have access to a computer.  Chances are, you two probably msn or e-mail back and forth during the week to save money on phone bills, and he probably wants to be able to continue doing that.

So no I wouldn't be mad.... in fact, I would have probably picked the laptop too.  Maybe the real concern is his lack of savings overall.... I mean if he had 10 000 in savings and spent 1000 on a laptop it is different then if he spent ALL The money on a laptop.

Answer 10

There are couple of points you should consider.

1. You can get very decent laptop for about 400 dollars and I'm not sure if its a substantial amount of money for travelling outside of a country..Every penny is important and I'm not saying that 400 dollars is not useful, but I'm just trying to point that its not alot.

even if he goes upto 600 dollars, i could say that he is maybe finding the right deal n such..Anything above that, given the financial situation may point to something else...

Technical point: If there is a crack in laptop and if its in keyboard or someplace, it could pretty much mean that laptop would be soon gone. Repairing laptop is expensive.

2. See how much time he spends on laptop...As you are in different countries and have less money, I guess you guys use internet to exchange mail, voice chat etc...hence, maybe laptop is pretty important to him...Again more than 600 dollars could probably indicate something else other than a need to splurge.

Keep in mind that not everyone thinks logically...However, person should be able to explain his/her thinking (whether its logical or not)...

Is he just splurging coz it would give him a high or satisfaction or something else..

I hope it helps...This could be a good indicator of his comittment to long distance...I'm in a cross-country long distance and I know that it requires alot of comittment.  

Answer 11

Helloooooo, of course to be honest i would be wondering how serious he is about you and the wedding.... 3 years is along time - i hate to spend more that a day away from my husband...

I think he should be given an ultimatum, ultimately if he loves you as much as he says then he will make the right choice....

Bloody h**l i would be really pissed if i came second to a computer....