Would you be upset if your spouse let a 15 yr old drive with your babies in the car?

Question

My husband thinks I am being wrong becasue I am upset, more like furious, because he let his 15 yr old cousin drive his car with my babies inside. His cousin even said that she almost hit something and he does not think that it is a big deal that she drove because she has her permit. The fact is that she is only 15 and not an experienced driver. To me this is being very irresponsible and not being a good parent and I personally do not think that I am overreacting but I want to hear from others. What do you think am I being wrong?

P.S. I was not there, he was visiting his family.

Answer 1

No, ur not wrong ur just a worried parent like most of the parents with children. Ur husband should have know better. By letting his unexperienced 15 yr old cuzin drive while having ur baby in the car was life threating. Especially when she said she almost hit something. If i were u i wouldn't let my husband with my child if i'm not with him and when he's wit his cuzin make sure i can see him his cuzin and the baby at all time. Some be would call that spying or stalking but i don't. Ur just tryin to make sure ur baby is safe. And tell ur husband he needs to do better.Much better if yall want to stay together for  the rest of ur lives.

Answer 2

So just because she is 15 and young means she isnt a good driver? I could drive at 14, and my dad counted on that fact. Drove my sister all the time.

Answer 3

That is defffinitely wronggg! He should NEVER let a anyone that isnt over 18 yrs old drive YOUR kids around without prior agreement.

You are not over reactting at all, trust me.

Answer 4

I agree with you! I would be furious as well. It's not only irresponsible parenting, but illegal and extremely dangerous as well!

Answer 5

i would be pissed if i were you

Answer 6

I would be incensed, because she is not yet a licensed driver.

Answer 7

You're absolutely right! She only has her permit- does that mean it's safe? No! I know plenty of people who have been driving with their license for months, even years, and they are horrible drivers. I think you should have a talk with your husband and explain this to him, along with any other feelings you have about it. Good luck!

Answer 8

in my opinion you are just as much in the wrong for leaving your husband with that sort or responsibility... him being your HUSBAND and all you should have expected for him to make that dumb decision instead of being surprised by it...

Answer 9

You betcha :(

Answer 10

It doesn't make him a bad parent, it just means he had a lapse in judgment.  Although I completely agree with you about how unsafe it was, I wouldn't burn your husband at the stake just yet.  We all make mistakes as parents when we encounter something new.  I doubt this situation has ever come up before, so he didn't handle it as well as he could have.  That does not make him irresponsible or a bad parent.  It just makes him human (prone to mistakes) and maybe a bit of a bonehead.  It was just a mistake and I hope that once you both calm down, he is able to just take this all as a learning experience.

Calmly and rationally tell him how you felt (if you haven't already) and just tell him that in the future, you'd appreciate it if only experienced drivers drove the car that you're younger children were in.  Jumping down his throat about it only embarrasses him and hurts his pride.  No father wants to admit that they screwed up.  Although his cousin needs to be taught those driving skills, she doesn't need to practice while other young children are in the car.  If nothing else, they could be a huge distraction to such an inexperienced driver which in turn could potentially be even more dangerous.

* I can't believe people are seriously talking about "never leave him alone with the children" and "I'd leave him" and things like that over one single bad decision.  Does marriage mean so little to people these days (obviously with the divorce rate, it does)?!?!  Do wives have no respect or trust in their husbands anymore?!  I'm really shocked that so many people are so willing to just toss this guy to the curb rather than suggesting the two of you communicate and work all this out.  Sheesh.

Answer 11

Ive had a similar thing happen when my daughter was younger and i was very upset as well. That is completely unacceptable! Since it is over and done with I would just sit down with your hubby and explain to him that you relaly dont feel comfortable with it and you need to trust that he wont allow it to happen again. Once he agrees then drop it and move on. Thank God that nothing bad happened!

Answer 12

It's okay to be upset. We don't blame you. Explain to your husband that you are too concerned to let his cousin to take off with your babies when she's only 15 years old. If he says that you're overprotective tell him that he's under protective and he doesn't give a dung to his children or at least that's what it is looking like.

Answer 13

That is wrong. She could of killed everyone. he needs to be a more responsble parent. he could get in a lot of trouble

Answer 14

Nothing happened so get over it. Getting all upset over every little thing is what causes marriages to break up. Sadly it's often the wife's nagging an nitpicking of everything that causes it. Did he use the best judgment, no. However he's only human and he's a guy. Like I said nothing happened so move on. Also where did they drive? Was it in the neighborhood or a busy street? Do you think you might be thinking the worst and if there it wasn't that big of a deal? Wasn't he in the passengers seat with her?

Answer 15

You are right to be upset.

It's okay if he has no feelings for his car or cousin, and doesn't care what happens to them.

But he needs to develop a little more regard for his own children.

The leading cause of death for teenagers, is auto accidents...  when they are the drivers.  Not only due to lack of experience and distractions, but they view themselves as invinceable.  This is from legitimate surveys, not just my opinion.

Answer 16

tell him next time have another family member watch the kiddies if he wants to help his cousin learn to drive. I would be furious also if I found this out. At least the babies are ok but still its not just the cousin he needed to be worried about its about all the other careless drivers out there on the roads and then an inexperience driver who wouldn't know how to react with lightning speed....

Answer 17

No how do you know she can't drive?

Answer 18

Why did he let the girl take the kids? If it was for a good reason I might not be as upset. Like if he was drunk and the only way home was DWI or the girl I would be less upset since he at least had the sense not to drive himself.

I think for me it would also depend on the 15 year old. Some are actually very responsible and if shes had a lot of road time I doubt i'd be so upset. And how far did she drive them? Down the street? On a highway?

They are your children though and you have the right to be as mad at him as you please.  

(P.S. Where are you from? Don't kids in most places have to be 16 to even get their permit?)

Answer 19

I think he needs his head examined.

Answer 20

he also needs to understand that he can be popped with child endangerment. i think you are comletely right in all of this. I would have packed my things and the children's things and left. i have a zero tollerance when it comes to my children's safety.

Answer 21

Tell your husband get in the passenger side of the car with his teenage cousin.  As an ADULT LICENSED driver is often required by law to sit next to underage operators, by many states.

Maybe her driving your hubby will wake him up.

Answer 22

i would be very very very upset