Would you call me a bad parent???

Question

Ok so I live in the town that I actually grew up in..Well on my daughters first day of first grade, I walked her to class and saw some of the other parents of the kids in her class, and being from here I know everybody and always seem to bump into people I know...Anyways there are two kids in her class, whose parents I know, and they are not great people..One mom is soooooo strung out on drugs, and so her boyfriend...and the other kids mom is pretty much the same way...I just cant imagine what kind of life these kids have lead and what they may have been through coming from such unstable environments, and I know I shouldnt pass judgement on these kids because of their parents but it is just hard not to.. And our first grade classes are small like 11 kids a class..And I am just having a hard time thinking about her being around kids from such a different back ground than her, I really want to put her in a different class...I just am not comfortable at the thought of her hanging around these kids because i dont know what they may tell her about..I know thats wrong so please some advice on how to deal...

Answer 1

Its one thing to not want her to have a play date with these kids, its another to worry yourself about them learning together.  The kids, despite their crappy homelife, may be great people.  If it concerns you that much, consider homeschooling or private schooling.

Answer 2

They're so young, the children probably don't even know what drugs are or that their parents even do them. I wouldn't worry. Kids have to learn some day, some way. For now, don't worry about it.

Answer 3

there's nothing wrong with that, you are being a good parent.  i believe that at a young age it is important to insulate your kids from those influences, there is a mysterious age in there somewhere where they will need to fit into the rest of society, be it bad or good, but not at 1st grade.  the delicate part is when, at the wrong age it can be like letting the kid loose in the candy store, at the right age you give them a little more maturity, a few more years of hearing the evils of drugs, etc..my daughter is 12, i have been sending her to a small lutheran school, very safee environment, but there is a time when i will put her in public school, even though i hate it, so much c**p goes on there, but she will need to learn how to handle it, hopefully these early years will reinforce right and wrong.

Answer 4

I don't think you are a bad parent. You recognize it is not the kids' fault their parents are messed up, but I understand why you wouldn't want your child to be around them. I think you should let the first couple of weeks of school go by, and if everything seems safe then you should be ok for the most part. If you still don't feel comfortable, talk to the principal about switching classes.

Answer 5

you got every right to protect your child. usually a mother's instinct is never wrong. talk to your daughter and explain why you do not feel comfortable for her to hang around those druggie families.  

Answer 6

I wouldn't call you a bad parent, everyone passes judgment. However, it is not the kids fault that they ended up with these parents. It may actually be good for them to have a friend like your daughter, who comes from a stable home. If your daughter continues to go to this school are you going to switch her class every year? You just have to make sure that you instill good values in your daughter and teach her right from wrong.

Answer 7

dont judge the little ones based on their parents.  my sister and her husband have junkies for years.  my nephew is six, he just started first grade and he is in the gifted program, because he is more advanced than the other kids his age, and he is extremelly well behaved. While i do understand  your concern, at six years old, most kids are still pretty good, its in the pre-teen to teen years when the effects of their crappy parents start to show.

Answer 8

Your daughter is going to be exposed to many different types of people throughout her life.  You don't have to let her go to their house for a playdate.  Here is the deal, these kids are going through h**l if their parents are as bad as you say they are, they are going to need as much support as possible because they wont get it at home.  Is the teacher aware of these issues?  Does CPS need to be called??

Answer 9

Request to have her changed to another class, no hard no foul.

Answer 10

Don't worry about it that's why the teacher is there for to enforce rules and teach the children manners. As long as you thought your child the right things to do and enforce them she will hardly do anything bad but if you have any concerns just talk to the teacher and besides you cant avoid bad people they will always be there so now your child needs to know how to survive with them around not run away from the problem.

Answer 11

i'm sure the kids are fine

but is there any way to talk to the parents?

i realize it could be weird tho

Answer 12

You are not a bad parent, I would feel the same way. Unfortunately, you can't shield your kids from everything forever. If they don't learn about bad things from those kids, it will be other kids, on a different day. Try not to think too much about it. For all you know, the 2 kids could be very sweet. Good luck!

Answer 13

I wouldn't call you a bad parent, just concerned. At least you know the situations of the children involved and can have an extra heads up when it comes to socializing. If you didn't live in a small town, you wouldn't know what kinds of backgrounds the kids were coming from. I see it as a big advantage, you already know. If friendships develop, you'll know to have these children over to your house and not the other way around. Don't pass judgment on kids because the parents are bad apples. Many children come from adversity and strive for much, much better. Relax and let your children learn that people come from all walks of life. As they mature, they'll have your voice in their head telling them whats right and wrong. Just watch over them and let them be who they are. Good luck :)

Answer 14

Private school or home school. Just do it. It is the right thing to do.

Answer 15

at that age their children probably don't even understand what it is that mommy and daddy do. i would say that if you don't want your child hearing about somthing from someone else you should tell them about it yourself. not naming names or anything just say "there are some things that people do that aren't good for you and if you hear someone talking about _______ just go do something else and don't talk to them until they stop talking about it." chances are they'll never hear a thing until 4 or 5th grade. by then you should have given them a clear enough idea that drugs/ strangers/ drinking/ whatever else is bad.

Answer 16

i don't think your a bad parent.