Would you call this other child's mother?

Question

My daughter is five. She has had this same little girl in her class the last three years and honestly this kid makes me a little bonkers. Her mother says she's just a perfectionist but she is always seeking attention and telling you how much she knows and how you or somene else is wrong. Anyway, she has an on/off relationship with my daughter and recently my DD has gotten to be friends with another (nicer) girl. Now Ms. Know-it-all wants to be BFF with this other girl too. So they were playing on the playground and DD and the nice girl were playing and the other one (snotty girl) comes up and says to the nice girl "You don't want to play with her she's an idiot." Is this the point where I need to take the mom aside and point out that she is calling my kid names? Or should I just continue to tell DD to try to find new people to play with? I am starting to think this little girl is going to plague her forever unless I put my foot down.

Answer 1

definitely talk to the school/daycare teachers; don't call the mother....teach your daughter to be kind to others, not to call people names, even if they use words like that...kids will be mean to other kids...this is probably not the only time your daughter or any other kid will be called a name -and you just can't be there to defend her every time...  have a play date (invite the nice girl and her parents over) and encourage relationships with kids who share same qualities you see (or wish to see) in your daughter.  Make sure your daughter is not also joining in...sometimes they won't fess up to their "participation"....hopefully she doesn't hear you calling the other girl "snotty" since they are only 5 years old right?

Answer 2

Maybe  her mum said that to her because your daughter wasnt playing with her. Maybe you should just not tell your daughter at that age who to play with just becasue they bug you, fair enough if they were putting your child in danger, but leave your opinion of her friends, let her choose who she likes

Answer 3

Say something to her mother. If that doesn't work and it happens again. Step in and say something to the girl.... Like... I would appreciate it if you do not call my daughter names.

I have had to do this a few times.... Its worked most of them.

Answer 4

I would talk to her mom about telling other little girls your daughter is an idiot etc. Be assured though that she may take offence to it, so I would try and be as nice as possible and go for coffee or something. Show her you aren't out to get her.

Answer 5

Calling someone names is not "being a perfectionist." But, bring this up with a teacher instead of the mom. It is better to have a neutral party speak with the child's mother than you, because she may take it personally. Step in with the teacher before this name calling turns into bullying.

Answer 6

I think you should talk to this other little girls parents about her behavior,before it gets any worse!

Answer 7

Sometimes talking to the mother is pointless. I had the same situation with my oldest. Her "friend" was obnoxious. She'd eat our food, be completely rude to my husband and I, and was just mean to our daughter. I had enough and spoke with the mother of this girl. Needless to say, she thought her daughter was a complete "angel" and said our daughter was the one with issues. I told the mother that I didn't want her daughter to associate with mine anymore because I didn't need such a misbehaved and ill-mannered child around mine. I told my daughter that perhaps she'd be happier finding new friends, and since then, she's forgotten all about that little booger. You daughter just needs to ignore this girl, and she will eventually get the idea that she is no longer welcome. Good luck.

Answer 8

encourage your daughter to have other playmates.  the teachers are very receptive to this choice.

Answer 9

tell her mom, that is NOT appropriate and i would like to know where she talks that way from, as most children pick things up from their parents. her mom might call people idiots. not good. talk to her definetely. that can realy hurt a girl when other children are acting that way. blessings

Answer 10

I think it would be more appropriate to speak to the school teacher. If it's happening at school let the teacher sort it out. I think it's just asking for trouble if you go to other parents complaining about their kids. The teacher can sit down with the class and speak about whats appropriate and whats not. Saves any grudges happening with other parents which may last for years.

Answer 11

I would talk to the teacher, most schools have a no bully policy, and ask them to keep an eye on the situation.  If it continues, yes, I would definitely call her mother.  There is no reason for that, don't be surprised if her mother doesn't see things the same way.  Many times the reason behind this behavior is that the parent is selfcentered or doesn't pay enough attention or that the parent is constantly doting on the child.  The last one is the worst, the girls mom won't believe a word you say in this case and will think you are jealous of her daughter.  I would go through the teacher first though, since the problem is at school.

Answer 12

They are five, they will work it out, I would maybe tell the teacher to be on notice, and if she is really getting bd, you can give the mother a heads up. If you are ever in the presence of the mother, and child, you can bring it up too.

My daughter has a girl like this, who is coincidentally named DD. and this little girl is rotten, but her mother condones it, so telling her mother would get me nowhere. good Luck!

Mean people suck.

Answer 13

im in 6th grade and i have the same prob. as ur kid.have a talk w/her mom.if shes name-dropping then this kid has got to be kidding to mess w/an adult!and make sure her mom nos if she does it again.

Answer 14

I would definately call the littles girls parent, behavior like that is unacceptable.

Answer 15

Honestly, I know it sounds childish but I would tell my daughter to tell the nice girl that the snotty girl is an idiot back. I wouldn't try to get involved myself, I would teach my daughter to stand up for herself.  My daughter is only 4 and she is so soft and sentimental so I know it's hard seeing your child being pcked on I deal with it to.

good luck

Answer 16

Unless the other child is physical, you teach your daughter how to handle verbal nonsense.  Otherwise, she is going to grow up feeling she doesn't have the assertiveness to say, "That is a hurtful thing to say.  Leave me alone."

Answer 17

I'D TALK TO HER MOTHER