Would you cheat on your wife if she gave you the okay?

Question

My wife told me more than once that I can make love to another woman if she knows about it ahead of time. She said it spices up the marriage and makes our lives more exciting.

First off I can not picture myself calling her and saying, "Hey I just met Sally and we are going to go do it now". I am not hunting for anyone to get this done with but it sounds a bit exciting. It will probably never happen unless the situation is right and my wife is around. What do you make of this?

Answer 1

sounds like she wants you to cheat so she has a reason to leave you.

Answer 2

Maybe its a hint that she wants to spice up the s*x life.  She is opening up to you and I suggest to talk with her and see what she wants. To be frank with you I have been with a married man, but had his wifes consent. Then she wanted me to join them both, but thats when I backed away. I also have a girl friend who has a both a boyfriend and girlfriend. Now a days some ppl want to experiment and try something new and there is nothing wrong with that. Dont judge your wife, but try to come to an understanding with her. I understand what you mean that you feel awkward doing that I was the same way. Hope this helped =)

Answer 3

Cheating is when you break a rule.  If the rule is that you're allowed to do it, then it's not cheating.  

Also keep in mind that this sort of relationship can work as long as both of you are being honest to each other and to yourselves.  Once you take her up on her offer is she going to reply with .... "it would only be fair for me to have the same choice" so be prepared for that.  

My last relationship was pretty open in this area... it didn't turn out to be a serious relationship but it could have been provided I wanted to stay with her.  

Hope this helps.  

Answer 4

No, I hope you think better of yourself than to lower yourself like this.

Answer 5

It seems that both of you are very immature.

Answer 6

Sounds like a dysfunctional marriage.

Answer 7

Sounds like she wants the go ahead to be aloud to cheat on you - uh oh!

Answer 8

That's every man's fantasy and an exceptional rarity.  Nah, your wife didn't tell you that - you're not even married, youngster!

Answer 9

sounds like she is giving herself the option of hooking up with another guy!

Answer 10

I say go for it if your wife is ok with it.

Most if not all men would thats for sure.

Answer 11

first of all fella grow yourself a set of balls, and sit the woman down, you married this dame so take a bit of responsibility, if the pair of you have already had this conversation, why didn't you ask the pertinent questions at the time, what the flying ***** are you doing on here to get hopefully get approval from a bunch of no bodies, and let me tell you if you are going to play the field for self gratification your marriage means nothing. you people who have no concept of what it is to actually be in love with the woman you decided to marry disgust me. i hope for your sake it wasn't a church service.

Answer 12

I think she is either in to swinging or has her own eye on someone else herself.  You know as soon as you DO make love to someone else that she will consider turn about fair play and probably has someone in mind already.

Answer 13

If your wife is giving you the ok to s***w another woman....DUDE WAKE THE F*CK UP!   She is giving you the green light because she is bumping the uglies with other guys already!

Answer 14

It sounds like she's trying to make you go first so she'll have an opening to be with other people.  Personally, I would lose all respect for a partner if they suggested this.

Answer 15

It isn't "cheating" if the wife okays it and even endorses it!  It is called an OPEN MARRIAGE!  My guess is she wants the option too?????

Answer 16

i think if i ever told my husband he could get it on with another woman it would be to ease my guilty conscience  

Answer 17

She says she is ok with it until it actually happens and then i guarantee she will be saying something completely different.

Answer 18

is she testing you to see if you would...?

is she cheating on you...?

or is she wanting permition to do IT herself...?

personally i think it could either make or break a relationship... is it wourth the risk....?

x

Answer 19

what you should make out of this is anger and resentment and eventually the end of your marriage--not a good idea!!!

Answer 20

Sounds like she's setting you up! If you follow through with it, you're giving her a "free ticket" to do the same...

Either way, you should let her know that it is very disrespectful and degrading to suggest something like that to you.

Answer 21

I sure would. I would bang everyone I could.

Answer 22

Not a lot, I would be asking why? why does your wife not care if you're intimate with another woman, odd. I would also be asking is this a way for her to get you to say the same? It's okay for her to sleep with someone else? Seedy or what? If you want to spice things up by all means role play etc or introduce something new but sleeping around is not classy it's tacky.

Answer 23

It probably means she out s******g some other dude without telling you at all. . . .

Answer 24

Sounds like she just wants your okay to be with another man.  I wouldn't do this.  It will mess up your marraige.  But, I would start questioning your wife's motives.  It all sounds a bit crazy.

Answer 25

Dont do it. It will ruin your marriage with or without permission. Do you really want to be married to someone who wants you to sleep with other people??

Answer 26

I would not have a relationship with another man, even if my husband was ok with it - I'm just not interested in a sexual relationship or an emotional tie to another guy.

But I find this question intriguing because I gave my husband the ok to sleep with another woman last year.  Not women, just one woman.  She is a good friend of ours and they became very close emotionally - I don't have a problem with that or with them having s*x.  Anyway, I told him that it was ok with me if their relationship became sexual and he was very surprised and skeptical.  I guess he felt like that at some point I would 'change my mind' and use that as the reason for leaving him.  But I haven't - and I have no intentions of leaving the marriage.  We have a good relationship - and a very active s*x life.  She's a wonderful woman and has been there for both of us during tough times.  He spends 2 nights of the week with her and the rest with me - and a couple nights each week she comes over for dinner with the family.  

I don't think this would work for everyone - probably only a small percentage of folks.  I can understand why my husband had a hard time believing that I was ok with it - he was scared to risk hurting the marriage if I flipped out.   It took a lot of faith on his part to believe I knew my own mind and heart - and I had to do a lot of soul searching to be sure of my feelings before I broached the subject with him.  

So, I guess I'd recommend pursuing the conversation further with your wife before acting on it.  What are her reasons for making the suggestion?  Does it turn her on?  Does she want to participate?  How long has she been thinking about it?  Is your marriage stable?  What reservations do you have?    It comes down to knowing your wife and knowing yourself - and being willing to take it on the chin if one of you turns out not to be as sure about it as you thought.  

Answer 27

Never (honest). I just couldn't.

Answer 28

All I can say is I wish I married your wife.

Answer 29

Sounds like a trick. She is probably testing you to see if you will.  I don't think I would want to fall for that one.  

Answer 30

My wife and I have had that discussion - but we came to the same conclusion.

Per my definition of marriage (and hers), whether the other person okay's it or not it's still cheating.

So I could never bring myself to be with someone else.  To boot - I don't want to!  That's why I married her.

Answer 31

This can only work if both of you are willing and open to the idea.  Perhaps this means she wants to do it with other guys too.  On the other hand... if you aren't lying and if all the folks involved are aware... then it isn't cheating.