Would you confront a friends abusive boyfriend?

Question

Would you confront a friends abusive boyfriend?

Answer 1

My close friends? Of course I would. But then again, I've been accused of thinking that I'm a dude when it comes to situations like this.  

Answer 2

I would wait to see if he did something in front of me and If not I would give her numbers and websites she can check out and offer my support to lose the looser.....

Answer 3

Having been an abuse victim when I was married, I can tell you do not confront the boyfriend. An abuser's personality can include a lot of paranoia. If he thinks she is telling her friends about what is going on, you may literally be putting her life in danger.

It is kind of like wanting to help an alcoholic. Your friend may not be ready to get help yet.

when you are being abused you feel trapped, like there is no way out of the daily nightmare. I was that way for 10 years before I wised up, and managed to plan and execute my escape. You could lose her as a friend. He certainly would not want her to see or talk to you, and she would most likely comply, just so as not to rock the boat out of self preservation. Support her all you can, but do not jump in the middle of it.

Answer 4

I have twice and it never helps, dont think that he wont hurt you cause he will. believe me. If she was ready to leave she would, its up to her on when she will accept outside help.  

Answer 5

No. Not my business.  

Answer 6

If I thought it would help my friend, yes, I would.  Sometimes it could make the situation worse though.  It depends on the particulars.

Answer 7

Heck yeah, abuse is abuse and if he'll abuse her, then there is a good chance he'll abuse any kids that may come into the relationship later on. I have stood up and told someone they needed to chill out in regards to abusing their girlfriends, have had some fights because of it, but will do it when I see it and report it too.

Answer 8

I would try my best to get her to leave the relationship but no i wouldn't confront him cause it could make things worse for her and he could get violent with me.

Answer 9

Until your friend decides she's had enough, nothing you say or do will help.  She'll keep going back to him.  What is most likely to happen is that he will physically attack you or make your friendship with your friend difficult.  So keep supporting your friend without confronting him directly.

One of my best friends of 15+ years has been married to a man who has physically and emotionally abused her.  I've confronted him in the past and you know what happened?  My friend distanced herself from me because I wasn't accepting of her delusional fantasy that she deserves the treatment she gets from him.  He has never changed over the years and neither has she.

Answer 10

No. You could get hurt. You never know with these guys. We knew a couple who were killed confronting the wife's sister's abusive ex-husband. He shot them both.

Try to find her help--a battered women's shelter, a hotline, a counselor-- somebody who is experienced in dealing with abuse. They can tell her what to do next.