Would you consider her a good friend?

Question

Umm, I'm gonna change the story just enough to hide the true identities of all those involved.

There are two women that are friends I call them Holly & Lanie. Both Holly and Lanie kinda like the same guy, Will, but neither is very serious. Will is no more than a momentary distraction for both of them. When Will is around just Holly he says all kinds of terrible things about Lanie, and when he's around Lanie he does the same about Holly.

The problem is that Holly tells Lanie all these horrible things that Will says, and it hurts a lot, so Lanie doesn't repeat what Will has to say about Holly because she doesn't want Holly to be hurt.

Lanie is mostly hurt by, not the things Will says, but by the fact that Holly seems to enjoy repeating them. Do you think Holly is being a good friend?

Answer 1

UGH!

This is the SAAAAME exact situation I'm in with my one friend.

I would say that Holly WOULD be a good friend if she didn't enjoy RUBBING THE BAD THINGS IN YOUR FACE! Geesh. I'd bet that Holly has quite low self esteem and says the things she says to Lanie to make herself feel better, which is really not the best thing to do.

So yes, I quite agree with you =D

Lanie needs to stop liking this jerk and find some new friends.

Cheers.

xx

Answer 2

Weird.  If Holly seems to enjoy repeating things to Lanie knowing it bothers her, then it appears that Holly is out to hurt Lanie.  So if Holly wants to hurt Lanie, I would question the validity of what Holly is telling Lanie.

If Will is nothing but a momentary distraction, then it should be just that...I mean are there any real expectations to either girl?  But either way, it seems Will is a bit strange in playing them both against each other...and for what...unless he wants to start some kind of cat-fight.

It seems that the real battle is between Holly and Lanie...with Holly being the antagonist...in perhaps winning over the guy by underhanded tactics.

Answer 3

i think she's not a very good friend.

but i mostly think Holly is just insecure and trying to make Lanie feel bad about herself to make her think he likes her more.

and s***w will!

i knew a guy who would do that.

he's definately not worth liking no matter how good looking he is,

so my opinion is that will and haley deserve eachother!

and lanie should get someone a lot better because obviously she has enough confidence not to put people down and is actually a good person. =]

<3

Answer 4

Well it may not be what Lanie thinks. Thats my view. But there are two different sides. Sure Lanie would be hurt, but maybe Holly has a friendly reason for repeating them. I mean maybe Holly wants to warn Lanie about the type of person Lanie likes. Holly may not know that what she's repeating is offensive. There are some people like that. She may say it just for the sake of liking Will, but as you said both Lanie and Holly are not serious.

Another way to approach the problem though is Holly is just trying to be a good friend. One thing about being good friends is being honest with each other. Maybe it would be polite just to keep it a secret, but maybe Holly is doing it just for the sake of the friendship.

But the last sentence got me. "Lanie is mostly hurt by, not the things Will says, but by the fact that Holly seems to ENJOY repeating them". It really depends. If Lanie can REALLY tell that Holly is enjoying the fact that Will made bad remarks about Lanie then it may be a bad part.

I suggest one thing to do is that Lanie asks Holly to both back off Will. If Holly seems refusive about the problem it may be that Holly isnt being a good friend and trying to get Will away from Lanie. If Holly is being friendly about it then sure.

But Lanie should watch out if telling Holly what Will told about Holly. The reason is because if Lanie tells Holly, Holly could take it in a number of ways -- for example, she may think that Lanie is jealous and making it up, or it'll create bad feelings towards Holly and Lanie, which may be the wrong way of taking the problem.

It really depends on Holly's attitude.

hope i helped! :( if you need more help let me know!

p.s. I think Lanie and Holly should steer clear of Will as much as possible. Bad vibes are going to flow if he continues this any further.

Answer 5

i don't think "holly" even realizes shes hurting her friend. one of my friends did this to me. i just asked her to stop telling me the things and she asked why? i told her that it was b/c they kinda hurt my feelings. she felt really bad and apologized for like the rest of the day. hope this helps