Would you consider this postpartum depression?

Question

I had my little girl 3.5 months ago so I'm beyond the baby blues point. However, lately I've been feeling like I can't do anything right. I feel like I'm failing as a mother and especially a wife. When I was pregnant I felt like I had to meet the June Cleaver standard of taking care of the baby, doing all the shopping, cleaning, cooking, and getting my body back into shape.....of course I don't measure up to all that. I solely take care of the baby and little else gets done because really thats all I'm interested in doing. When she goes to bed and I have time to get my housework done or plan for the next day, all I wanna do is go to bed too or chill out on the computer. Hubby and I don't have s*x. I think he may be unhappy. I also feel guilty all the time about almost everything. I also still haven't mastered going out of the house with the baby. I try to plan for it but usually don't make the right decision as to what contraption she should be in!!! lol. I feel like everyone else has it together but me. I do have a very easy baby though. She never cries except for hunger and is a joy to be around. Maybe God knew I couldn't handle a difficult one!!! Should I feel bad that I can't do all of the other stuff? Am I failing at the whole motherhood thing? What are some things I can do to help? And is what I'm going through normal or could it be depression? Thanks for your help.

Answer 1

You don't sound depressed to me.

Motherhood (esp 1st time around) can be very overwhelming. Some of us take longer to get used to it and get life back on track than others.

I wouldn't worry about it as long as your little girl is happy.

After my son goes to bed (4.5 months old) I mostly chill out by the tv or mess around on the internet.

Mind you, by that point I have taken care of the baby, cooked, made lunch for b/f washed, cleaned (a bit), worked (I work from home), taken the dog for 2 walks, played with the cat and spoken to my family on skype. I'm getting tired just typing it.

Set small goals for yourself eahc week and you'll get where you want to be in no time.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I don't think you have postpartum. Woman who have that usually don't want to have contact with their baby. I think you're just struggling. You need to speak to your husband and ask him to help out around the house. You need to make an effort to keep your husband happy. Maybe a family member could look after your child occasionally to help you out. The first few months are hard. You'll get through it!

Answer 3

It could well be depression. I'm SO not qualified to diagnose you, especially not over the internet...so call your doctor or heath visitor, whoever you have, and tell them what you just wrote here. They will understand and they can help.

You are NOT failing. Looking after a new baby is incredibly hard. It never seems like it should be, but anyone who has had a child is reading this and thinking "yup, been there". It's just that by 3 months it's normally getting better, and it doesn't sound like it is for you. That's when you need the help. Please, ring the doctor today - or if you can't, ring a friend and get them to come over and do it for you.

You already took the first step by realising you're struggling and posting here. Now just take that next one. You'll get there.

Answer 4

You are NOT failing at motherhood!! Don't ever say that!  My baby is 9 weeks old and I still feel all of those feelings that you have.  I guess you could say it is PPD.  It takes time to get the whole baby out side thing, in the car seat/stroller whatever.  Talk to your husband, tell him what you are feeling.  He maybe unhappy because he may not know how to help you.  Ask for help also, ask your family, close friends, anyone you trust with your child and yourself.  Its okay to ask for help, I find it extremely hard to ask my mother-in-law, but I do it.  You have to do it in order to feel better.  This is from personal experience and all of those baby books that are on the market.  There are not that many new moms that have it together, I'm one of them.  And the ones that do, have a support system 24/7,  which that is fine, but you need to learn on your own too.  If your baby is happy and healthy, then you are an awesome Mom, if not then you need a doc to help you out.  Hang in there, all of us new mommies have to stick together!  

Answer 5

TOTALLY NORMAL!!!  You are definitely blessed with postpartum depression.  Mine was so bad i was having panic attacks and thought i was a horrible mother.  I bet you are a wonderful mom!!  You are looking for help already.  The best thing i ever did was look on line and find a postpartum class at the Women's hospital where my daughter was born.  There i met so many other women who made me feel like i was the normal one.  Even the head nurse gave everyone her personal cell number to call 24 hours a day if we were feeling down.  They even had a "Birth and Baby" class where new mother brought their new babies to share each others experiences.  It was fun for me.  She sounds like you are taking amazing care of her and she's a happy baby.  You should be proud of yourself.