Would you continue to babysit this child?

Question

I have been watching a little boy since last summer. He is six years old and has serious anger issues. My children are ages 9,11,13,15 and 21 and cannot stand him. He stresses all of us out with his constant whining and verbal outbursts. His mother is the nicest lady and always pays me on time. She is doing her best to raise him right, but it is hard when she works full-time and has to share custody. His teacher this past year suggested he go for counseling. I feel sorry for his mother because it will be hard for her if I quit; no one would stick it out as long as I have! I really need the money too because I stay at home and homeschool my children. I would be glad for any suggestions!

Answer 1

Speak to his mother about harsher consequences. I am sure she would be willing to come up with something because it will benefit her as well. You need to keep the same rules and punishments as his mother and father do, with in reason. This will help him learn that he will not get away with certain behavior no matter where he is. I am sure one of his parents lets him do whatever he wants and this makes it harder for the other 2 main caregivers.

Answer 2

well if you need the money than keep babysitting...

honestly, if you're taking care of any kid for long enough, there's gonna be something about them that annoys you. this sounds really bad, but any kid can be annoying. maybe you should take the teacher's suggestion and help the mom by investigating counceling opportunities? or just like whenever he gets mad give him something like a pillow or a punching bag or something random for him to take his anger out on in another room.

Answer 3

I would keep watching him but I'd ask the mom if she has had him evaluated for his outbursts/issues. Tell her that you're working on it while he's in your care and ask her for some tips or ideas of things she does at home.

Answer 4

Wow, I kind of understand where you are coming from.  We had a child at school last year that had to have three aides because of his violence.  Has his mother seeked any help/therapy for his anger issues?  Obviously something is going on inside that needs to be looked at.  Talk to the mother about this in a VERY gentle manner.  Just say that you are concerned/worried about a couple of instances and give her examples  of his behavior.  Now, granted, I know that no parent will ever take this well.  What choice do you have, though.  You are to a point where you feel as though you can't keep him anymore.  What could recommeding therapy hurt?

I wish you luck

p.s.  The minute that the child hurt one of my children, that would be it for me

Answer 5

Don't quit just tell your kids you have to deal with it if they want to eat ever again.

Or you can send your kids to public school and you can get a job.

Answer 6

Is the need for the money or the fact that you'll hurt her feelings or that she will have problems finding a babysitter more important or is the stress on your family more important.  Not being sarcastic- just how much stress is it?  I think if you quit watching him you'll be able to pick up another child to watch pretty easily.  Maybe if you stop watching him it will be the impetus she needs to seek help.  She might be rationalizing things thinking that he just has problems in school because you seem fine with him.

Answer 7

you must be doing a good job to have 5 kids! your a hero! I watch kids who are 6 and 4. They whine alot!! its bc maybe they are not loved enough... you know? obviously if she works alot she has no time for him. I tell the kids i watch that i am here to be there friend and they need to respect me. I tell them we can have alot of fun if they are nice and then  i tell them at the end of they day if they are good we will have popsicles. good luck. i hope this helps :)

Answer 8

he needs time outs.

lol

aiyy i had the same problem. lol i know what it feels like.

there was a little boy named brian. and his mother told him to take a shower before he goes to bed.

well i'm like.. okay you have to be in bed at 9:30. its 9 right now. so you have a half hour to get in the shower.. NOPE wasn't going in the shower. instead he goes behind the couch. THEN we couldn't get him out, and he wasn't going anywhere if he didn't have Mew. mew was his cat. so we are like.. okay get in the shower and we'll find Mew and put her in your room so she is there when you go to sleep. . well it took us an hour to get him out from behind the couch.. and he was screaming the whole time., we finnaly made him take a shower. so he goes in his room. it took us for ever to find that stupid cat.. and this cat HATES him. so he ran in his room tried to grab the cat and it just takes off out of the room. so he's crying. OMG then his mother got home. and I got to go home. oh my gosh i haven't babysat him since. lol

Answer 9

Obvioulsy the problems are not the the child's fault.  Sounds to me as if his parents aren't on "the same page" when it comes to raising their son.  Their is no consitency in the discipline.  Since YOU obviously can not recognize this I would suggest that you no longer take care of other people's children because you are blaming a child for what is clearly their parent's fault.

Answer 10

I would talk to her and maybe work out consequences that the both of you will adhere to.  If she is very nice, then maybe he walks all over her and gets away with everything, and is acting that way because of it.  

I would let her know how you are feeling, and that you really want to care for him, but need to work out a plan to change his behavior in order to continue watching him.

He may need to be evaluated by a doctor, as he may have some medical issue.

Answer 11

He needs consequences for his behavior; when he acts up he goes into isolation, have a room set aside for this, and make him stay in there alone no TV no phone no PC for at least ten minutes and then make him apologize before he can come out again. If that doesn't work then he might need medication to control his rages.

Answer 12

Your number one responsibility is to your children.

Therefore, I would say that it would be in your family's best interest to find another babysitting job.

All the best.

Answer 13

It's hard to say when the only detail you give is that he has serious anger issues.  It really depends on what he does, and if your disciplining helps at all.  If you have done all you can and literally can not control him, then I would give it up.  You can always find another child to watch.  My mother-in-law watched two kids that just were hard to control.  They wouldn't listen to her, rude, the girl stole something from a store, etc.  She felt REALLY bad to have to quit on the mom, but she wrote the mom a note and gave it to her, explaining that she had to tell her something but it was easier to write a note.  I know it sounds kind of immature to do it this way, but it was easier for her and probably for the mom too, so there was no confrontation.  Or, you can probably just call her on the phone too.  My MIL did give her 2 weeks notice, so at least the mom had some time to find a new sitter.