Would you continue to read on?

Question

She was like a late autumn leaf left twisting in the wind, clinging to a branch with all of the hope and weakness of an unanswered prayer.

Answer 1

no sounds like a romance and i dont like romances but it worded very nicely and engaging.

Answer 2

Maybe. I would read on to see what it was really about. Then I would read more if I liked it.

Answer 3

It's a very interesting sentence, but I think it needs...more. I'm not keen on the "she was like" part, it always sounds like its being thrown in to try and make something more interesting that it really is, rather than its intended purpose of creating imagery.

Maybe, "a cool autumn breeze kissed her cheek as she was left pondering the recent events, like a browning leaf, twisting on tenterhooks it clung hopelessly to its very creator, even with all of the hope and weakness of an unanswered prayer, it was still hard to avoid the inevitable"

okay, so thats a bit week but its late and its to try and show you what i mean.

Answer 4

well i would read it probably... but i usually like to see wat its called and what its about first

Answer 5

NO sounds real boring

Answer 6

yes, it sounds relaxing, and like it could get interesting. but at the same time it leaves you hanging wondering where it will go next and wondering what kind of a story it will even turn out to be..i love reading..it reminds me of fall, and that is my favorite season, yet another reason i would read on...

Answer 7

I'd keep it to one metaphor per sentence. It's not bad, but it's trying a little hard. Don't show your whole hand all at once.

Answer 8

Its greeat. It sounds awesome. I would definately read it :)

Answer 9

Yes  

Answer 10

very descriptive, and poetic in nature.  I probably wouldn't read on, just because I like more action in an opening.

Answer 11

Wow, that is absolutely beautiful.  Is that your opening sentence?  I for one would definitely keep reading.

Answer 12

It's a lovely and evocative first sentence, and I would at least read the rest of the first paragraph.  But for me to read beyond that, I'd need for there to be some sort of twist.  I read a lot.  So I need for there to be something silly or a bit out of the ordinary to capture my attention.  For instance, for the next sentence to be something like, "So naturally the startling bellow of the neighbor's leaf-blower grated on her nerves, causing her to fumble her tumbler of iced wolfbane cappucino into the shrubbery."