Would you critique my poems?

Question

Perfect Day

My how the sun shines on my face

On this glorious, wonderful day

The kids are all laughing

as they fly their kites

Higher and higher

In the baby blue sky

The flowers have bloomed

The field is alive

With things that are scurrying

Trying to hide

The breeze is fantastic

The clouds are small wisps

The birds are all singing

With a cute little lisp

With in my heart rings a song

Of joys that are known to all

Of open air and carefree days

Spent flying a kite in the sun

Highlights of Fall

Red, Orange, Brown, Yellow

Falling

Down

Floating on the cool breezes

The colors swirl together

in a symphony of brilliance

High School Football, Jackets, Homecoming

Chilly evenings on cold metal risers

Cheering on our Home team

Pumpkins, Black Cats, Ghost

Children laughing as they run door to door

Indians, Pilgrims, Family

The ties that binds us together

and makes us thankful

This is the symphony, the grand show.

This is Autumn

Answer 1

Both remind me of the MidWest ( esp. Indiana & Ohio). High resolution, vivid, live colors for a picture drawn in a simple language & relaxing tone. I like it .

Answer 2

for a while i thought i was living in the swiss alps

Answer 3

Great. It made me think of my long lost goats. Lost in the mountains of south east asia.

Answer 4

Ah, both are extremely picturesque and beautiful. You paint scenes so vividly even through simple words.

Personally I prefer 'Highlights of Fall' as I feel it creates more of a mental image, and brings back memorys.

You are a good writer :D