Would you expect more respectful behaviour from a 10 1/2 year old?

Question

My partner's nanna is dying. We went in to visit her is hospital and my 10 1/2 year old stepdaughter started to take photos with the flash of flowers and then went to take a photo of my partner's dying nanna before a relative stopped her. She also loudly said, in the room, "If nanna dies I can't go to the funeral". I was appalled. Neither of her parents said anything to her about this behavior. Is it reasonable to expect a 10 1/2 year old to behave more respectfully and tactfully in this situation?

Answer 1

that's more expected of a 5 year old. Some one should have taken her out of the room and talked to her about her behavior.

Answer 2

man if i ever said that and i was her age

my *** would be so sore

the fact that her parents didn't train her is sad

Answer 3

First of all who in their right mind allowed this child to bring a camera to the hospital to begin with?!? Secondly, one of her parents should have stepped in immediately and taken the camera away and asked her to go wait in the hall. At 10 1/2 she is old enough to know how to conduct herself properly in a situation like that. Obviously she has parents who either don't know how or are afraid to discipline her. I have seen this in many split family situations. Mine included. When I first met my husband he allowed his 7 year old daughter to do whatever she please because he was trying to make up for the fact that he only saw her 3 days a week, and her mother let her do what she wanted because it was easier than trying to discipline her and deal with the tantrums and the attitude. I was appaled. I finally got through to my husband that if he did not start acting like a parent and controlling his daughter's behavior, once she became a teenager there would be no stopping her. Now she is 10 and we still have some issues with attitude now and then (who doesn't) but she is no longer throwing 2 year old temper tantrums any time she doesn't get her way and she is much much more respectful. Someone needs to nip this behavior in the bud now or else it will only get much much much worse once she becomes a teen. I think that you should sit down with your partner and have a heart to heart talk about her behavior and try to come up with a way to get it under control.

Answer 4

that is awful! id spank her i was 10 when my great grandma died i just sat there looking at her lifeless body in the coffin crying.  

Answer 5

I wouldn't expect that off of my 5 year old. When my nan was dying she showed the utmost respect. The fact that the parents didn't say anything is disgusting.

Answer 6

I'm absolutely stunned that a child that age would behave that way. She must be very immature, I would expect better from my 4 year old. In fact when my grandfather was dying, my 4 year old daughter was very respectful. Your stepdaughter deserved a slap in the face for that, stupid, disrespectful little brat.

Answer 7

At 10 I would say yes she should be able to know better by that age however it also depends. I mean are you sure she doesn't have any developmental delays? My youngest son is 8 and he has a learning disability and he is socially immature for his age. Sometimes he says things that someone might think is odd for an 8 yr old but he really doesn't know any better. For example one time his friend wanted to come over so he asked me if he could and I said not today and he said "but Jordan told me to bug you about it". He didn't realize that by telling me that truthful thing that it might make me unhappy with Jordan for saying that. Most 8 yr olds would know better than to tel the parent their friend said that but my son doesn't think logically like that.

Anyway if there are no issues like that with this child then I would say it should be addressed and she needs to be spoken to about it. My middle son is 11 and he would surely never say anything like that outloud in the room.

Answer 8

What a horrible child. You're right to expect better

Answer 9

I would have expected this child's PARENTS to have taught her more respectful behavior.  Obviously they didn't.  The child is not to blame for her parents not teaching her respect.  A child's most important teachers and most important classroom of their lives are their parents.  Obviously your stepdaughter's parents were lousy teachers.

Answer 10

She doesn't understand.  Your partner should be the one to explain death to her.  If her Nanna is up to explaining it with your partner; it will help her alot.

Answer 11

I would have bundled her out of the room and frog marched her to the car for that. What a silly girl.

Answer 12

I would have kicked her *** out to the car.