Would you feel left out in this situation?

Question

My In laws are going to Disney World in the fall with my BIL and his family. My BIL has a two year old daughter that is three months older than my daughter (we both just have one child) They all planned this without really asking us if we wanted to go. At the time they told us this winter it really didn't bother me too much. But now, my daughter is obsessed with the Little Mermaid. She loves Ariel and everything Ariel. I know that she is very young still but I don't want her to be left out. I know that they will all come back from the trip with tons of pictures. I am especially afraid that in a few years she will ask why she didn't get to go. Am I overreacting? Maybe I just feel left out. I am not sure what to think or even how to handle the situation.

Answer 1

I agree with mom, don't jump to conclusions. However, if after you have tried to invite yourself and it doesn't work out, don't feel bad this is the teachable moment for your child. Since she is into Ariel get an album for her and get pictures of Ariel and have her paste them in her album. That way when they come back she will have her own album and her Ariel doll. Besides, she may be too young to understand and fully appreciate going to Disney World. Who knows, you might plan a trip yourselves when she is older. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Your daughter's two going on three.

What do you remember from when you are two? Anything at all? (I remember two things, both of them bad, and nothing about the lovely holidays my parents have pictures of).

If you think Disney World wil be something that your daughter will treasure in the future, then start saving now, and go when she's old enough to remember it.

Answer 3

You are over reacting.  

If you think Disney World would mean that much to your daughter, then why dont you take your daughter?  Who says if you go it has to be with them?

You probably do just feel left out, but yes, I probably would to.  The only family I have where I live is my aunt, her sister and their family.  We all hang out together, all the time at the each other's houses or go to the mall or go out to eat.  I actually lived with my for a lil bit when I moved here.  But they always all go on vacations together with out inviting me.  Most places I couldnt afford to go along anyways, so it doesnt really matter that they dont invite me, and that is probably why.  But I have only been to the beach once in my life.  We only live a few hours from the beach, but I dont want to go by myself and my spouse isnt all up into going.  They go 2-3 times a year, know how much I would love to go and refuse to invite me.  They usually go to the quiet non touristy areas, so its something that I can actually afford to do.  And then they come home going on about how wonderful it was and that I ought to go sometime. hmmm..grrr...

Anyways, if she doesnt go..  Well, I am sure through the rest of her life she wont be able to always get everything everyone else does.  Its not fair, it sucks, and it can hurt.  But, sometimes its better that kids learn early that there will be people who can get to and will be able to do things they wont be able to.  And also show them that there are things they get that others dont.  No mother wants to have their child left out of anything.  But if they never get left out, you will have one very very spoiled child on your hands.

Perhaps after their Disney World trip, you could take her somewhere else that she would love to go, without the extended family.

Answer 4

Talk to yur husband...take her on your own if you want.

Answer 5

Have you talked to your husband about it?  Where it is his family, how does he feel about it?

I don't blame you for feeling left out - but it may not have been an intentional thing.  I'm not sure who or how they planned it... but if you think you may want to go, why not ask to join them?

They would probably be thrilled to have you guys join them.  Or you can plan your own trip - your daughter will just be thrilled to go, whether its just with you and your husband or with all the family.

Good luck!!

Answer 6

when they told you about it this winter why didn't you say something then? ask them about it or you need to let it go if not you'll always have problems with them.