Would you force me to go?

Question

I am going to a concert tomorrow[saturday], its during the day & that night my mom wants to leave to drive to Tennessee to visit her mom & grandmother.

Now, I was all for going but now I am not.

The trip used to be, I was going to get my liscense we were going to share the driving & we were also going to drive 3 hours down to Atlanta to see my friend who was relocated for work. He is a radio DJ.

Now, I am not getting my liscense, I am not sharing the driving & my mom says we aren't driving to see my friend.

& all this would mean missing my last soccer games on a league [ I ] paid to play on.

Not only is that wasting my money but its wasting my summer.

I don't want to go now.

This last game means a lot. Its a make or break for playoffs & they need me. Its an adult co-ed league. We already have 2 people who aren't going to be there & then taking me out is a sure loss.

I can't do that to my team, especially if it isn't worth it because im not getting to see my friend.

Answer 1

It is hard to say especially with so many questions left unanswered... as to why you don't have a license yet and why she has changed her mind about your previous plans.  At any rate, she is still your mother and as a mother, she wants what is best for you.  You still live with her and should do as she says.  Who knows, she may change some of her plans in your favor at the last minute if you play your cards right.  If she can't, it doesn't mean she doesn't care about you or your feelings.  Most parents also hurt when their child is hurting and I am sure she understands your disappointment about the situation.  Your mom may also know some things you don't.  Go with your mom.  Besides, we never know how life is going to unfold.  This "could" be the last opportunity you have in this life to see your grandmother or great grandmother.  If something were to happen to them and you didn't go, chances are you would regret it for the rest of your life.

****Edit

Consistent in her behavior, rules, and plans or not, your mom still wants what is best for you.  If you show half the patience she has shown in raising you, things will eventually go in your favor.  Hang in there... and good luck...

Answer 2

YES, I would make you go.  HOWEVER, I think your mom needs to be flexible and leave for Tennessee after playoffs are over.

(If you had gotten your license and you were still going to drive further to see your friend, you were all for going then, right?  Does that mean you were okay with missing your soccer playoffs as long as things were going your way?)

Answer 3

Your team wasn't that important to you before when you thought you were getting your license and seeing your friend. Now all of a sudden because neither of those is happening you don't want to go. Sounds like a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum.

Are you sure you are old enough to get a license because it sounds to me like you a little too young by your actions here and YES, I would make you go just because of your attitude.

Answer 4

Would I make you go?  That would depend on many things.  If this was the only time I had to go (meaning the time I had planned to take off from work and can't shift easily) and I didn't feel comfortable leaving you behind alone, then yes I might insist you go, game or not.  While is sounds as if there have been many plans changed, it didn't sound like the timing of the trip has changed.  If that is the case, I would point out you were fine leaving your team when you were going to get to do what you wanted, but now that those parts have been removed from the equation, you seem to want to use the game as an excuse.  If the game came along after the trip was planned, then again I would expect you to still come as I (as the parent) probably can't reschedule my vacation time easily.  Sometimes, we end up having to do things we'd clearly rather not..miss a game, go spend time with relatives we don't esepcially like, in a place we may not enjoy.  It doesn't end when you are independent and an adult..it tends to get a bit worse actually.  I, as a parent, would not have scheduled a trip at the same time as your game if I had known about it, but that is me.  All things being as they are, my daughter would be going to see family with me.

Answer 5

Yes i would let you go because it seems like its means a lot to you. Have you been good ?

Answer 6

To be honest I think you sound really rude and mean. You only want to go if you get what you want out of it, then it is fine to let down your team, but if you don't get what you want then you just can't let your team down. Why wouldn't you want to go see your family, it's not a waste of a summer, you need to figure out what is actually meaningful in life obviously because you have no idea. I would force you to go. I am only 20 years old and I think you are very very wrong, why don't you think about what your mom wants. She probably wants someone to go with, maybe you should think about someone other than yourself. everything you are saying makes you sound more and more selfish. stop thinking about yourself. think about the people around you!

Answer 7

Depends how old you are.  If my daughter was in this situation and 18, then I MIGHT consider letting her stay home.  Otherwise, she'd go where I was going.

Isn't it worth going to see your Grandma & Great-Grandma?  You sound like you're more worried about seeing your friend than your grandparents.

Answer 8

Yes, I would make you go. You had no problem missing your game when you thought you were going to be driving and seeing your friend. Now that you aren't, you are using that as an excuse. It makes you sound like a spoiled brat.

Answer 9

You were willing to go when you thought that you would have your license, get to drive and see your friend.  So, yes I would make you go because the league wasn't important to your before hand.

Answer 10

Your priorities seem a little messed up to me.  You've got:

1) Yourself & what sounds fun for you

2) Your team

3) Your family

I would guess that, once you show your mom that you know what's actually important in life, she might be more inclined to respect your choices & wishes.  As it is now, you sound kind of pouty & entitled - not respectful of your mother at all - and, if I had a child like that, I do think that I would insist that she stay with me until I could trust her to make polite & safe choices on her own.

Answer 11

You are very selfish.  I cannot believe you are making your mother drive alone like that.  You should want to go to be there for what might be the last visit with your great grandmother.

No wonder you can't get a license, you don't sound too bright.  You obviously are not an "adult" so you really don't belong in the league.