Would you get a divorce?

Question

I am just looking for some advice from people who have been in a long marriage or from someone who is divorced or has gone through some of what I am going through now. I am 23, My wife and I have been together for about 5 years now, but have only been married 1 year and 3 months. Throughout the relationship, I cheated on her and she still does not know to this day. Up until about a year ago I have had that "fire" for her, excited to talk to her, to see how her day was, everything that a relationship should be, except that I was cheating on her. 3 months after we got married, I found out that cheated me with an "old friend". She met him in a hotel room when she said she had to work. I know I have cheated numerous times, but after she did it, I lost that feeling for her. The past year now I feel like I have been fake. I'm not excited to see her, I could care less how her day was, but I try. I ask her how her day was, act excited to see her, because I don't want to hurt her. I do love her, but I guess not enough. We do have 3 kids, hers mine and ours. Mine and hers are 5 and we have a 2 month old. Could someone give me some advice? I don't really have anyone to talk to about this... Thank you!

Answer 1

man you better hunker down and wait out the storm you leaving that women and those kids would rip a whole in the space time continuum bigger than  J-LO's booty crack.  Your world would end if you leave that family right now.  Is the s*x bad?? Just ckuf the c**p out of her and till you start to giggle under your breath.

Telling her that you cheated all those years back isn't going to make anything better its between you and me just us guys OK!!!

Man up!! Grow a pair and do what men have been doing since the beginning of time stay for the kids,  treat the wife like a slave and pretend that you like it.  Then when the kids are in college divorce her for some air head waitress with big b*****s and leave her with the mortgage and your old crusty sports car.

Answer 2

Yes because you were both fakes.  She's probably cheated more than she mentioned because it's hard to believe someone has cheated through an entire relationship without the other partner knowing something is not right.

Answer 3

i agree counseling - that will give you the answer you need

Answer 4

Go to marriage counseling because you BOTH have issues.You did not really love her as much before finding out she cheated on you as you think,had you loved her that much, you would not have cheated.

Answer 5

Sounds like you two were meant for each other.  I feel sorry for the kids.  You've been a dog, but now that she's keeping busy, too, you're not interested in her anymore??  What a joke...

Answer 6

Well love or not, you both broke a sacred vow of marriage, it would be tough on the kids, but jeese, y'all aren't meant for each other especially if both of you did that to one another.

Answer 7

Counseling or divorce since there is no longer any trust.

Answer 8

   So you are 23 and trying to raise 3 kids while cheating on your wife, and you're upset that she treated you the same way?  And there's a new baby in the house to boot?  You are so messed up.  You need to see a counselor pronto.  Get them to help you sort out why you make the decisions you make and how you truly feel about everything, not just your wife.  Why would you marry someone you have repeatedly cheated on?  Did you not understand your marriage vows?  You can not make any permanent decisions until you have sorted all of this out.

Answer 9

I would consider marriage counseling before you make any decisions either way.  This marriage has been in trouble from the very beginning.  You had 'fire' for her but still cheated?  Something had to have been missing or you wouldn't have cheated.  And she cheated after 3 months?!? That was your newlywed phase where she certainly shouldn't have felt the need to go outside of the marriage.  In any case, if you have any hope of saving the marriage, definitely seek counseling.  Even if it ends in divorce, the counseling will help the two of you deal with  the relationship you will always have to share as parents.

Answer 10

Too bad you cheated on her from the beginning it was most likely the reason she cheated.  Now you have ruined the lives of a lot of kids because your an immature jerk with an ego.

Answer 11

you are so young.  you have 3 kids already.  you were not ready for marriage and the duties of a devoted father.  please seek counseling for yourself and if you want to save the marriage then work hard for it.  you have to be happy with yourself.  you must ask why you cheated in the first place.  

Answer 12

So, it is ok for you to cheat but not her...and not for nothing, but she cheated on you and now you don't love her...sounds like you never loved her before. I think both of you are unhappy and it is time you both leave each other.