Would you give me some feed back and hope?

Question

An alleged father?

ok, here goes we are fostering a three month old, mother does not want her, now there is an alleged father trying to be involved, he is a 50+ year old alcoholic, works 12 hour days, doesn't drive, has no criminal history however....what kind of stuff will he have to go thru in order to get the baby if the paternity test comes back as positive? no one knows if he is actually the father as the mother is a prostitute......he continually calls the social worker, sometimes intoxicated, however he has not done any of the paper work she has sent him and has not gone to get a paternity test....the county is unwilling to pay for one at this oint, they feel if he truly believes he is the dad he should pay for it....he has never seen the baby or sent her anything....so what are things he will have to go thru what is the likely hood that he will get her? Also she is our niece and we very much want to adopt her....what kind of a future are we looking at her?

Answer 1

if the father wants the baby, that is his right to have it, how would you like it if someone took your kid from you without permission?

so waht if he is poor, that is not a prerequisite for being a good father, and sounds like the alcoholic part is just perceived on your part, plus no criminal record....so what?

why does he need a paternity test? if the mother says he is the father, and he says he is the father, and no one else claims to be the baby father, why should he go through the expense?

who are you to decide that someone should not be with their kid?

Answer 2

What does the social worker say?  If the bio-mom has indicated that she doesn't want the child, I would question why the state is not moving to terminate her parental rights, thus allowing you to proceed with the adoption.  The state would then also be getting involved with terminating the bio-dad's rights - which in this case would raise some questions that you should be able to get answers to pretty quickly.  The fact that the child remains in foster care is a good sign for you - if they felt the bio-dad could raise the child, they would have already placed her with him in most cases.  

Good luck to you.  Stay strong.  Your child needs you to be!  :)

Answer 3

I don't think you have much to worry about.  If he doesn't take action to get the paternity test done then he isn't going to look good in the court system or get custody.  Only worry if he gets off his butt and pays for it.

Answer 4

You should probably ask a lawyer. It the paternity test is positive you would probably need legal consent or a legal judgement against the father.

Answer 5

OK.  He will have to prove he is the father.  You can go ahead and have him served now if you have not.  If he doesn't respond to the serve, his rights can be terminated.  If he responds either with or without an attorney, the judge may then order another hearing and order him to get a paternity test.  The county may be ordered to pay for it or half.  You can also file an intervention as well if the county will allow, which would make the case stronger for adoption.  Anyway, if the paternity test comes back positive for him, the judge will order a homestudy -- just like you had.  Again, he may have to pay half or all of it.  The judge may also order him to pay child support to the state.  And may order him to get psychologicals.  And visitation.  All this is designed to see how he performs with all these tasks.  If he can't do these, can he parent?  There will be several court hearings.  Then there will be a trial, and the judge or jury if he wants one, will decide about his rights.  You'd hope it was all about best interest of the baby, but that seriously gets lost in all these court hearings. This may go on for over a year!

You could offer to comprimise -- Offer him visitation if things start dragging.  Or go for guardiansip which is easier than adoption.  If his rights are terminated and so are mom's, you are not home free.  You can petition to adopt.  But beware, sometimes you can get all the way to the end and the county can decide to place the child with another family!

I do wish you luck with this little one!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

I really hope he doesn't, and hoping you guy gets to keep him.

Answer 7

I wouldn't worry about it too much. If he hasn't made any initiative yet to prove who the child belongs to by now he probably won't. Even if he does the social worker knows that she has called him up drunk and she will state that on your behalf, this will not be in his father. If this is the type of man that he is, no he doesn't need to be in the child's life......at all.

Answer 8

I don't think he has much of a chance.  I am a foster parent also and I can sympathize with you.  It really stinks sometimes how much the "natural" parents rights are protected when they don't deserve it.  Hopefully he's not the father, than you won't have to worry at all!

Answer 9

Sounds like slim to none that he would get her.  First he must prove paternity. And they will immediately go for child support. Next, the social workers will give him a whole list of things to do before even seeing the child especially if they know he has a drinking problem. Like alcohol counseling, maybe other counseling as to the situation of him going to a "prostitute". You should let the csocial worker know that you very interested in adoption when the time is right. The law says if the child is away from parents for 15 out of 22 months and the parent or parents are not actively trying to get things done to get the child back, then the child becomes free for adoption.   We are in that process now.

Answer 10

i give u hope and just get a lawyer it will help soooooo much mre

Answer 11

relax and stay graceful

he wont get it

Answer 12

If he's really proven as the father, then he can ask for custody and it'll be up to the court to decide whether he is fit or not.  I doubt you can adopt without his consent.