Would you give the ring back?

Question

I have a friend who left one guy (she'd been with for 2 years) because they were having problems. Two weeks later she ran off and got engaged to another guy (one she had been talking to online for a year but had never met prior to running off to him). Now 3 months later she says she's not sure if she and the on line guy are going to go through with the marriage - she never said why. She admits she still loves the guy she left and he admits he still loves her (I think all they need was counseling). She's confused about the direction of her life and knows she needs to get it together for the sake of her children (she doesn't have custody of either one). She admits she runs from problems because that's how she deals with them plus that's all she knows (her mother runs). In the process of running, she left behind the one daughter she could see whenever she wanted (the biological father has custody). She still talks to the guy she left and even accepted to have dinner with him when she comes into town in a couple of weeks. She says she doesn't know why she accepted this other guys proposal other than the fact that he asked. She says she loves the online guy (find that hard to believe but who am I to judge). She's also trying to find out what caused her to accept his proposal in the first place.

The online guy does not know she is still communicating with the ex or about the dinner. The online guy is the one who proposed...not the guy she left. She and the online guy are still together.

If you were her, would you give the ring back to the online guy?

Answer 1

She should give back the ring, stay away from the old boy friend and get her head together.  Then contact her children and start acting like a parent instead of some s*x crazy fool.  She has two kids by two different guys, she leaves one guy she is living with for a guy she met on line, and can't make up her mind.  This girl has a lot of problems with self esteem and believes if someone says they love her it gives her value.  She will continue to be used, her children left to wonder where their mother is, and may end up dead if she runs into the wrong guy.

Answer 2

I would tell her to give the ring back and then not go back to the other guy and focus on her kids. I think this woman needs to get her stuff together before she adds more people to the equation. It sounds like she has commitement issues as well, which i mean can sometimes be caused by your upbringing. But with all honesty she needs to be without a man for awhile and get her **** together.

Answer 3

Well if its over, yes i would give the ring back.

My ex boyfriend gave me a promise ring that he said was worth over 200 . It was a pretty ring. We broke up and i didnt need the ring. i didnt need something to remind me of him. So i gave it back to him even though he said he wanted me to keep it... its just best to give it back.

Answer 4

She needs to break the engagement and give the ring back.  Then she needs to keep her legs closed and stay away from men altogether for awhile.  She needs to seek therapy for the issues that she so obviously needs help with.  She doesn't need to even so much as go on a date with a man until she has her sh** together.  Her primary focus/goal should be to get back into her children's lives and show that she is capable of becoming a decent mother.

Answer 5

She should give it back..

Answer 6

If I were her I'd do the world a favor and hang myself.

Answer 7

I think she needs to make up her mind what she is doing, either she wants one or the other, and it sounds like she has had both for quite some time.  I think she should end one of the relationships but it's up to her which one.

Answer 8

Personally.. no i wouldnt give a ring back UNLESS it was a family heirloom.. otherwise theres no sentimental value to the ring for him to "need" it back, u dont give a bday present then ask for it back or a xmas present then ask for it back.. fact is its a gift..  

Answer 9

She should give it back if she's the one causing the break up .

Answer 10

If she's not sure that she wants to marry this guy she is leading him on by keeping the ring. Imagine how you would feel if the person you were going to marry told you that they weren't really sure but kept you believing that they were. Even worse, what if she were to follow through and marry this guy and it ends up being a mistake. I would encourage her to give him the ring back and tell him that she needs some space to think about things. If she decides that she wants to be with him then she can get the ring back, assuming that he's willing to wait.  

Answer 11

I think she needs to settle down before getting engaged to anyone. Doesn't she know that there are two peoples emotions involved here and not just hers? If she doesn't like the guy she is engaged to, then she needs to be honest and give the ring back. The longer she lets him think she loves him, the more difficult it will be for him to get over her.

She needs to grow up. She has children and this is no way (or role model) for her to live her life. She can do better. But she really needs to stop the fairy tale life and make her mind up id she wants to be married or play the field. Sounds like she is not marriage material and never will be.