Would you give up a pet(s) for a "possible" future companion?

Question

I remember on my first date with my husband I asked him, "Are you allergic to and/or do you hate cats? Because if so, we should end this now." At the time he thought I was kidding, but of course still answered that he liked cats and even had one of his own (which was wonderful to hear). Of course after dating me awhile, I think he realized that was a real inquiry, and had he answered "yes" that would have been our only date.

I know some people are forced to get rid of pets when they happen to have a kid who is allergic, or develop allergies or something (and that's a terrible shame, but understandable). Or, maybe they have been with the person a long time, try to get a pet, but discover there is an allergy.

But, I wonder if there is anyone like me who really just wouldn't bother with a guy, no matter how great he might be, if their pets couldn't be part of the equation?

Answer 1

Of course.

When you adopt a pet you are making a commitment to this wonderful living being that you will take care of all of it's needs and love it until it passes away.

How can anyone possibly compete with that?

Answer 2

If he is going to take me, he has to take what comes with me and that includes my pets.Me give my pets up for some man?! Please. He has to take me like I am and take what comes with me.

And there are allergy medications for indoor and outdoor allergies.Zyrtec is the number one indoor/outdoor allergy medication and it works for pet allergies.They show people who are allergic to cats/dogs on the commercials living side by side with their pets thanks to Zyrtec.

He can take a Zyrtec and accept me and my pets.

Answer 3

I think you are a strong person.

Your pet is very dependent on you and it is bad to let him/her go even for the best person in the world.

Answer 4

I haven't had this problem yet, but I guess this is the way I see it. I am a pet person, I am sure I will likely always have one. I am not willing at this time to give up my dog for a possible future companion. My dog is my responsibility and it would be incredibly selfish of me to throw him aside because my future companion does not like dogs. Its not something I am willing to do.

Answer 5

never, my pets are my family

Answer 6

What if your boyfriends 27 year old daughter lives with you and she has 5 cats (one giving birth-not neutered) and one dog who are not trained to go outside or the litter box.

Answer 7

If a person really loves you, they'll find a way to work around the things about you that they don't like so much. My fiancee hates cats, but I have three of them! I told him that it was too bad, and my cats are staying, and that's final. He's learned to live with it, and now he loves all three of my cats! Pets are family. To me, that'd be like getting divorced and then re-married and giving up your child because your new husband (or wife) didn't like them. It's ludicrous! I would never, EVER give up a pet for a person, unless it was a child with allergies, like you suggested in you inquiry.

Answer 8

no

Answer 9

I don't know.  I think if a guy was really into you, he'd be willing to take in your pets or at least reach some sort of compromise with you (for example, putting the dog outside more, etc.).  But since this guy lied to you when you asked him up front, that's that...pets stay, he decides whether or not it's worth it.

If I really liked the guy, I'd consider ridding myself of the pets.  But then again, I'd probably regret it later on.

Answer 10

Hi Dolyn,

I have been married for almost 18 yrs. My husband and I have had cats and dogs all throughout those years. Now after all of those years he has decided that I am to get rid of my cats or him. I have had my cats from kittens and they are dependent on me. They are very good companions to me. Throughout the past 18 years my husband has become more controlling of my friends and family, and now my pets. I believe that he is not only controller, but insecure. If it comes down to it I think that I would choose my pets. They love you unconditionally and don't ask for much in return. You could come to some kind of understanding and keep the cats outside like my husband and I, but that is where I absolutely draw the line. When winter comes I will bring them in. I think that it is a whole lot easier and less stressful to keep the pets and get rid of the real  problem. Yes I would NOT of gotten married to him if I had known that he didn't like pets.

Answer 11

If a guy doesn't like my dog, it's an automatic break up for me. I would never give up my best friend for a guy, never. I love that animal like a child. And yes, I have turned down a second date before, even though I really liked the guy, because he wasn't into dogs. I knew it just couldn't go anywhere if he couldn't stand my old mutt!

Answer 12

I really feel like this,  love me, love my pet.  If the person really cares for you then he would know that the pet means alot to you and that you had that pet long before he came into the picture.  He would know that pet was there for you on the days you came home from a bad day at work, there to comfort you when you were not feeling like yourself or just plain sick.  Pets never judge you, they love you for you and if a guy didnt want to be with you because of your pet then he wasnt the right one.

Answer 13

Absolutely, I agree with you. I judge a person's "likability" by how they treat or even talk about animals. If someone tells me they don't LIKE animals, I get away from them. If they are AFRAID of animals, then I can understand because that is different.

"Love me, love my pet" is an old saying. If I dated someone who made the mistake of telling me they didn't like animals they would find themselves being dumped very quickly; there would be NO second date.

I knew a very happily married couple who both had severe fur and dander allergies, but still managed to have MANY cats. They both loved animals, so there was no question of getting rid of their "family".

That's just the way I am. Fortunately, my chap LOVES animals and always has; he didn't have to invent his affection for critters to be with me. Just lucky, I guess!

Bless the animals.

Answer 14

There is no reason to get rid of an animal that someone is allergic to. This is a simple problem that can be resolved with meds and sprays on the animal.

And no, i would never get rid of any of my animals, from my dogs to my hermit crabs.

If a guys said he didn't like them, too bad. If i had kids allergic... we will deal. Dog bites me... training can handle it.

If one of my dogs went nuts and bit a neighbor and they threatened to sue me, and the state wanted my dog put down, i'd flee the state.

My dogs especially are my world, they are my kids. I share this compassion about all animals and believe that too many people give up and gives them up to stupid reasons.

Top ten STUPID reasons people give up pets (usually cat or dog)

Pregnancy

Kids don't get along ( teach your kids people)

allergies

traveling

moving(this one really pisses me off)

Doesn't get along with another pet

too big

not trained enough (owners fault)

Not for them(should have thought about that one.)

Answer 15

I'm seeing that situation come up in my near future. I think we'll live separate till the cats pass on. I consider them along with my daughter and I my family. They're considered companion animals to help with my depression, always have been there for me. A man's not so reliable, and it's been 7 years now. Won't know till I'm forced to make that decision, but I don't think I could live with my conscience if I got rid of them.

Answer 16

If I had to choose between a man and my pet, I would choose my pet.  Guys come and go, but your animals love you unconditionally.  Luckily my bf loves cats and dogs 9we have 2 cats and a puppy), but even though he's great, if he didn't want a pet I would have so bye-bye.

Answer 17

I would never give up a pet for a guy.  There are many girls that I know that complain about their boyfriends/husbands dog.  They knew about the dog before the relationship and then thought the guy would choose them over the dog.  The dog was there first so in my opinion the dog stays!

Answer 18

My sister recently moved out and left her kitty behind because her boyfriend is "allergic to cats"..even though he used to sleep here all the time and never said anything of the sort until they got their own place. There is no way in h**l I would get rid of my pet or leave it behind at my dads or give it away. I, just like you, made it perfectly clear to my boyfriend when we first started dating.."I come with pets and you better love them just as much as I do if you expect to ever live with me!"

Answer 19

No way! If the guy really liked me he would adapt! If he was allergic well then i probably wouldn't make anymore dates with him...

Answer 20

why just a guy? if i just met a girl who said its either me or my dog, id kick the B*tch right out...and im not talking about my dog

Answer 21

if he truly loves you then he will understand that you love your pet and will try to deal with it

Answer 22

nope if the guy was to stay so would my cat...