Would you go out with a grown man who doesn't hold his fork or spoon correctly?

Question

I dated a guy who held his fork and spoon like a toddler in a high chair -- in his fist. I showed him the correct way to hold his cutlery but his response was "It's not important." This bothered me -- he did it even in restaurants. Would this bother you? Would you keep dating someone who did it?

Answer 1

It would bother me.  Also I think someone who thinks that things like that don't matter is likely to do a lot of other stuff that would annoy me a lot.  I like people who are respectful and have good manners.  It matters a lot to me.

Answer 2

make fun of him.

Answer 3

yes. there maybe something you do that he thinks is weird but he does not go and point it out or dump you for it

Answer 4

This is a tough one. It seems a lot of guys aren't as bothered by the rules of etiquette, as we ladies are. I would just explain to him, that they way he holds his utensils is a pet peeve of yours, and if he really likes you, I'm sure he'll make at least some effort to try to change. It's not like asking someone to hold their utensils properly is asking them to change their entire being.

Answer 5

tell me .. How did he treat you ?

was he polite and courteous?

was he a nice guy ?

would he help out a stranger?

could he hold an intelligent conversation?

is he respectful to the elderly?

THOSE things are more important to me that whether or not somebody holds their knife/fork or spoon correctly.. ending a relationship based on cutlery etiquette .. seems so bloody shallow.....especially when all food digested ends up the same way regardless to how one holds their spoon.

Answer 6

Yes it would bother me especially his comment that it is not important. I probably would not date him again. If I'm bothered by it now how would  I feel about it later.

Answer 7

N0 because its just a waste of dating life...

....0r y0u can try t0 teach him

Answer 8

No, I wouldn't go out with him again. To keep doing something that makes you look childish when you know better is ridiculous shows that he is unreasonable and stubborn.

It sounds like it is 'his way or the highway', even on small issues. Not much potential for a good relationship there. : /

Answer 9

I would never have wanted to date him a second time.  really ignorant of him  . I would not want him around.  that has to be just the tip of the iceburg.

Answer 10

I think more important to me would be how his table manners were.  If he held his cutlery like a toddler but had good manners and didn't talk with his mouth full or chew with his mouth open, then I wouldn't mind.  

Life is too short to worry about how a guy holds his cutlery - he could be a great man to be with.......imagine if you'd ditched the nicest guy in the world just because of something like that!

Answer 11

The devil is in the details...define "correctly".

From his point of view, you're the one holding the fork the wrong way, yet he chose to continue to date you.

That said, we do all have our deal breakers. I can't stand people who do that suck-slurp-inhale food thingy at the table (or anywhere for that matter) or who are just plain greedy.

For me, the ham-fisted fork hold is not a deal breaker but inhaling your food with such vaccum force that you start to choke on it is a deal breaker.

Answer 12

I would laugh and tell him it does matter. It's not really his fault. It sounds like it has to a lot to do with his upbringing. If that is your biggest complaint, I'd consider a second date.

Answer 13

I guess he doesn't have any table manners. Try again.

Answer 14

Frankly I don't think I'd notice if he was holding his utensils wrong, and if I did I wouldn't say anything just because I'm sure I can't throw any stones about my etiquette .

Answer 15

It's important and I won't date such a guy. He will be an embarrassment.