Would you have another baby?

Question

My two children have a condition called albinism. (aka albino). this comes with marked vision problems. My daughter has very little vision problems. My son has more. He may or may not be legally blind, we'll find out in time. When he was born, he didn't track anything for the first 6 months of his life. He didn't even lift his chin off his chest. Then we got him Early Intervention, and the teacher started working with him on how to get him to use his vision. Now you wouldn't even know he's really delayed by how he uses his vision. Even though honestly he's really limited.

So the thing is, after having my son, I sorta decided i didnt want to have any more kids. I didn't want to risk having another kid with such extreme vision problems. I didn't want to put my visually impaired kid in the middle of two better seeing kids. I also fear having another with worse vision problems. But then again, statistically we might not even have another kid with albinism.

Answer 1

Honestly I wouldnt. You dont know how severe your next childs vision problems will be. It will hurt you alot more to see your son/daughter suffer through life. Why not adopt?

Answer 2

We have a 6 yr old with autism, and last year we had another son. The chances of him being autistic as well are high, statistically speaking. But we chose to have him, and we will love him unconditionally. Sure, some people may question if we did the right thing, but in the end it comes down to what you and your husband feel is right for you and your family. Are your kids happy? Do you think they will resent that you chose to have them? Will you grow to resent caring for another special needs child?

If you feel you are ready for it, go for it.

Answer 3

I would have another child, and whether the child has albinism doesn't matter because you are so wonderful with both your kids that I know you could handle a 3rd and you would be well prepared for any vision problems. I say go for it. You are a great mom, you can handle anything.  Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 4

i see where your fear lies...but ask yourself this...given the opportunity NOT to have your son...would you trade him for a child with no problems at all?

i'm sure if you had a third child there would be no part of you with any regret at all..you would love that child as much as you love the two you have.

i'm not saying you should..its just sometimes easier to think you might regret it when that child doesn't exist yet..although once it was here... you know your heart never could hold that regret.

Answer 5

I've heard of a family that has 6 autistic children. It didn't scare them out of more children.

Like you said, just because there was an issue doesn't mean it will happen again. If it does, you now know what to expect and to be prepared for it. Just because their life would be different doesn't mean it would be bad or not worth living. It might sound selfish, but I'd have a 3rd in your shoes. I wouldn't love a child any less if it had vision problems. I believe you both have a desire for a 3rd child for a reason. Don't let fear or "what-if's" deprive you of a child you both strongly desire in your lives.

Answer 6

I would as long as I was prepared to deal with another child with problems like that.  It sounds like you son is doing much better and will be able to live a semi-normal life.  Also like you said, the next child may be completely normal.  Even if not then you will love them and help the same as you already have.

Answer 7

I don't really see any problem, the way you care about your kids you could really handle anything. Now I'm excited for you! Your daughter will be the perfect age to enjoy a baby sibling. Oh, that is so cool. Even though my kids run me ragged, they are the best thing ever. I would have more if...well you know :)

Answer 8

To be honest with you I would not.

Answer 9

It sounds like your experiences with your first 2 children have put you through more than the average parent. Also that your love has been more tested. If you did decide to have another baby and it proved to be developmentally dislayed would you love that child any less? Of course not. Fortunately since your children were born this way, they know nothing different for themselves personally and don't know what it's like to be "normal".  If you want to have another baby then go for it. I personally would go for it. My 2nd son is borderline autistic and I just recently had a 3rd baby and plan to have a 4th in the future. I think it comes down to how much room is in your heart.

Answer 10

If you really want to, then go ahead, you obviously can take care of a child with vision problems, it's not like you are just neglecting the problem. If you can take care of your children, with or without albinism, then go ahead. You sound like you care enough about your children, otherwise you wouldn't have asked this. Good luck!!