Would you have given your child up for adoption if this happened..?

Question

There is this family who I met and now know.They have a teenage daughter who they see once in a while,however she was put up for adoption after their second child who is severly mentally disabled and has been that way since birth,and needs round clock care.There is a year difference between the firstborn daughter and the second born son,so they gave her up around a year old or so.They went on and had 2 more kids after that.So they have four children but the girl does not live with them,just visits once and a while.

The family is very cute and always seems happy,and in the brief amount of time I spent with the girl,she was very nice and very sweet as well.

Would you have given up your little girl like they did?

I'm not sure since it is hard to take sides and stuff.

Answer 1

Never would I give away a child to some stranger.

Answer 2

that's weird... and i would have kept it

Answer 3

No, I would never give any of my children up just because times got hard, it is wrong. God will never give you more than you can handle, and with a mentally disabled child there are always ways to get extra help, so that both of your children are getting the attention they need. This really seems to me like they were being selfish. And then they go and have other children later in life, only when it is convenient to them? Ugh.

Answer 4

There is probably a lot more to the story then what you have found out.  I suggest you stop gossiping about them and let them live their lives.  They are the ones who have to live with their choices, not you, so don't obsess too much over it, since you can't do anything to change the situation anyway.  What is done is done.

I don't know what I would have done in their situation, but then again, I haven't been in their situation.  They probably didn't plan on having two more children after the son, accidents do happen.  They probably felt they were giving the girl a life she deserved, since they probably have to spend a lot of time dealing with their mentally disabled son.

Again, it is really none of your business how they came up with their decisions, as, again, you are not involved in anyway shape or form.

Answer 5

I don't think I could have given a child up.  It bothers me that they put her up for adoption cause they had another child.  I'm not sure that they are even comfortable with their decision, it might have been made out of desperation, and I am glad that you are keeping an open mind on the subject.  I was so happy both times I got pregnant, that giving the child up was never an option, even if both times weren't planned.  But I realize they probably had their reasons, even though I don't understand.

Answer 6

I don't understand how the parents could give up their child after having had her and loved her for a year. I don't like being away from my babies for more then a few hours. I understand that the next child needed a lot of extra care but then you pull in some help from family or friends or day care or something. Besides they had more kids after. Why did they have more kids and not give them up too?

Answer 7

No i wouldn't. My oldest son was born with a birth defect that i was born with. I love him so much. My second was born with mild hearing loss in both ears and I love him too. I have a niece that is double worse then my boys. My brother never wouldn't do that is child either and she happy 5 year old today going to school and everything.

Answer 8

I would've tried to keep her, but if I could not give her the attention, love, and support she needed, I suppose it was for the best. Parents only want the best for their children, and sometimes that means not being able to be with them.

Answer 9

I can't say since I don't know their side of the story, however since they went on to have more children, it seems hard to understand why they gave her up...? I don't know if I could ever give up a child, but I understand why some people do. I would much rather see someone put a child up for adoption rather then have an abortion.

Answer 10

no i would have kept her :)

Answer 11

I am sure the parents did what they thought was best for the child at the time.  I am sure it was very hard to do, and they probably have second guessed themselves many times.  I am not going to judge them-I am going to trust that they did the best that they could at the time.  It sounds like everyone is doing well, so it could not have been too terrible of a decision

Answer 12

it is rediculous that they gave her up, then proceeded to have 2 more children after their son. its kind of silly. i understand that have 2 children is hard enough w/o one having disabilities, but to give one up then have 2 more seems very unfair. they should have kept her, or givern her up and not had anymore.

Answer 13

That can be realy hard for the child and is not goood

Answer 14

I am guessing there is much more to this story than you know.

She might have a different father (maybe mom was single at the time), maybe CPS took her out of the home for some reason you don't know, maybe she's just the father's child by a different woman, etc.

Answer 15

the fact that they went on to have more kids is enough to make me mad they should have been sterilized

Answer 16

No, I could never give my child up under any circumstances.

Answer 17

Please realize that most of the people who are answering this question have likely never had the unfortunate experience of having to contemplate placing a child for adoption.  When the whole world appears to be against you and your family, and you can't see a positive resolution that will protect the whole family, the unthinkable becomes plausible.

I will not put myself into their shoes to determine if it was the correct choice.  By doing so, it trivializes what actually occurred.