Would you have made less mistakes growing up if?

Question

Instead of your parents telling you what and what not to do, that they actually explained the consequences of such action/inaction? I think a good parent actually explains everything instead of saying you'll understand it when you get older because by that time the reason you understand it is because you made the mistake!!!!!

Answer 1

dang.

good point dude.

very true.

Answer 2

My parents DID explain everything and I didn't listen.

Answer 3

When I was growing up, I was Cinderella. My sister could do no wrong. I was usually the one to do the chores, since the lovely age of about 7 or 8. I went through my mother and father being abusive toward one another. Their seperation.

Before my mom started in on me about things I wasn't even wanting to do, I was telling kids how stupid they were for doing drugs and such.

As I got older, she never once talked to me about s*x, drugs, or anything "bad" for me. Not to balance a checkbook, or college.

I have to say my life would have been a lot better had my parents actually been by my side. Funny thing, I still struggle to this day, with that issue. With getting them to just be nice to me, love me, and get along with me.

Answer 4

Yes. I think parents and teachers should spend more time explaining the whys. Let kids make their own decisions based on information. That's the key. But mistakes can be valuable because you do learn. You need to make mistakes. It builds character. The problem is society. Society wants and expects perfection. There is the conflict.

Answer 5

I think it depends on the way you explain things and on the child. When I was growing up, my Mum didn't tell me what and what not to do. She didn't even use any form of discipline at all, or educate me about right and wrong. She abused me and my siblings from a young age and was a worthless alcoholic. I went on to be a heroin addict, a thief and a teenage Dad because I never had any guidance.

With my son, I talk to him about what he is doing. When he does something wrong I explain to him why it's wrong, what could happen and what will happen if he does it again. Then if he does it again will I take appropriate punishment. It works - a lot of the time I find parents punish their children for something without even letting them know what they've done. I agree with you totally, a good parent should discuss the consequences and explain what has gone wrong. The rest is up to the child, whether they choose as an older person whether to do the right thing or not. All we can do is educate our children and guide them so that they will hopefully make the right decision.

Answer 6

I explain things over and over to my sons and most of the time they don't listen. Every once in awhile they tell me things like "Mom I was going to do something , but I thought about what you said so I didn't do it and it was good because something bad happened" It makes all the hours worth its weight in gold.

Answer 7

I spend countless hours explaining things to my kids in the exact same way.  Sometimes, I feel as though I am wasting my time.  Other times, they get it and thank me for my insight.

Answer 8

probaly =D

Answer 9

No, because many times consequences and such were explained to me.  But I still chose to do dumb, young, stupid things.  I think we all learn from our mistakes. If we don't and continue to repeat these dumb mistakes, then there is a problem.

Answer 10

maybe that is the point!lol

I heard recently that teens/young adults actually dont always think through consequences for actions...so would explaining everything really make any difference??

I dont know when that magic "you are older and understand" days comes- maybe we say it cos there is no such days, things dont always make sense, bad things do happen to good people for no obvious reason and no-one has all the answers

Maybe we want parents to know everything and they dont!

Maybe the "when you are older " day is when you realise this life is unexplainable chaotic and you just have to muddle through...probably not the words of wisdom younger gereations want to hear?

Explaining everything requires a good parent and listening child and a lot of time and patience...and sometimes the ONLY way to learn is to make mistakes...I would explain if my child kept making the same mistake!

Answer 11

well, this was what my parents did.

true, i didnt make many mistakes, i always felt guilty or worried, because i knew if i did anything there would be consequences and i would be the one to blame. i never had fun.

i feel that this way childhood is taken away.

Answer 12

My parents informed me about a great many things while growing up, and I made fairly good decisions through most of my teens.  When I faltered, it was mostly because I didn't have positive people around me, guiding my way.  Parents can only do so much.  They are not the singular influence on a child/young adult's actions.  A young adult's brain is much more prone to impulsive actions and inability to under consequences.  Sometimes you just have to make the mistake for yourself to truly understand why the action or behavior is not worth undertaking.  Such is life.

Good question though.

Answer 13

My mom taught us why we should not do things. I made HUGE mistakes - but with stuff she did not explain or tell me about. She also got us kinda freaked out about ALL of the awful stuff that can happen....

But yes - parents should explain why you should not do something - then the kid can choose to or not to obey with knowledge of the consequence.