Would you help some one that made more money than you? Or would you only worry about your family's needs?

Question

My brother in law who has always made more money then us wants us to move his family and himself in with us. We have a house and 2 kids and one on the way. They have 3 children and have lye to everyone else about her getting her tubes tied so she can get pregnant at any time. My husband told him NO, he can stay with us on his days off (because brother in law works offshore 21 days out and 10 days in.) and we will bring him to check out apartments and houses for rent. And then bring his family down.

I told my husband i didn't care one way or the other as long as they pay rent Hubby's response was that they broke and stole things from his sister and that they stayed there for over a year.

I don't care either way I am only thinking about there children because i don't care for this woman, and I know the only reason brother in law is trying to get us to let his wife and kids to move in with us is because she has broke up with him and said she didn't want to move to Texas, he had to convince her to hook back up with him because he doesn't want to lose the kids.

So hearing all this would you help them or Let them figure things out for themselves and start acting like grown ups. BIL is in his 30s and SIL is 25 and hubby's ex-girlfriend nothing ever happened between them but she is a trouble maker. I am 22. My kids are 3 1/2 and 1 1/2, their's are 4, 3, and 6 months old

Answer 1

I believe the best thing to do in this situation would be to let them figure things out for themselves. It doesn't look like a good situation, and you have to think of the whole picture. I don't think money should have anything to do with the decision either. It just sounds too complicated. Pray for them and tell them you love them, but that they need to live somewhere else. You can always offer to help with the children, bring them a meal once in a while, etc...

Answer 2

The BIL is looking to cram as many people into one household just to save himself a few dollars... I am also willing to bet that he is looking for someone to stand watch over his trashy wife. He may suspect her of cheating on him while he is off on the rig.

You don't need this drama in your household.

Visiting is one thing, but moving in is a completely different matter.

Do you really want to be stuck with babysitting her 3 kids the majority of the time?

Don't be meek about this or your husband will totally cave and you will be inundated with these people... consider what it would be like with 9 people in your house... arrrrgh!

Tell them that they need to find their own place. The BIL can come and stay with you while he contacts a realtor or apartment locator to start looking for his own place.  

Answer 3

HELP EVERYONE  

Answer 4

if you chose to help them, do so but don't let them move in.  

Answer 5

in my experience, it is never a good idea to have more than 1 family living in one house. you both have kids, they will have little fights, bickering, etc. noise and such. some personal privacy will be violated, jealousy will ensue. no matter how close your relationship, 2 families in the same house will eventually be a failure of sanity.

i'm sorry about your troubles, but if your husband makes more money than you do, he wouldn't listen to you and you will only have to suffer the consequences.

Answer 6

I think your husband is right on this.  I have been married for awhile (8 years), long enough to know that when you have mixed opinions it is better not to do it.  If he doesn't want them there and you bring them there it will cause problems between you, for many different reasons but one being that he will feel like you do't respect his opinion.  Then to add in a trouble making ex who you don't like to start with.... I smell trouble for you if  you do this.

Answer 7

IF you let them in, your only asking for alot of trouble.  WHY on earth would you want your hubby's ex gf, who you don't like, to even move into your home?  Your nuts!

They make good money, they can fend for themselves!  Your hubby's right to have said NO

Answer 8

If they move in, be ready for big trouble.

You are responsible for the well being of your family.  These people moving in will mess up your children.  It could endanger your children and your marriage too.

Answer 9

I believe in helping those that help themselves.

Evidently they are not trying to help themselves except by taking from others.

My answer is no.  I would not let them move in.  You would be crazy in a week and it would not be good for you little ones.  You have to think of your own family first.

Your brothr in law is old enough to take care of his family.  If his wife is spending to much money, he needs to put a stop to it.  Sounds as though they both need to grown up.

Good luck!