Would you home school your kids?

Question

Whether you have kids or not...

Would you consider home schooling them? Why or why not?

I've always thought home schooling isn't healthy in some cases because kids should be put in a social environment so they can build better social skills.

Answer 1

There is no problem with socialising home edded children.  That's a complete myth.  We do it in large social groups and they're always sleeping over at each others' houses.  We had seven extra children round here yesterday, and that's not unusual.  They also go to groups like dance, drama, scouts, guides, mosques, churches and so on, so they also spend a lot of time with schoolchildren.

Had i not known home education was an option, i would never have had children.  I think you have to have an overwhelmingly important reason to send them to school.  There are reasons, but they only apply to a few children.

I am responsible for bringing them into the world and therefore bringing them up.  Therefore i, and not a group of strangers, am responsible for their education.  It's that simple.

Answer 2

I *do* homeschool my daughter. I had a negative experience with public school. I was the one being bullied and hated it so much I turned into the bully. I do not think it is healthy for a child to go to school and walk thru a metal detector, fear for there lives with gunman walking around, or have to deal with the negative comments that seem to spill out of other childrens mouths. anytime my daughter is interested in something, we research and find a place to go to for more information. The part of homeschooling that we like is I don't have to feel guilty about going somewhere on vacation for a week and her missing school. I can take school with us or take a week off. We do school all year round. If she has a hard time with a lesson or idea, we can stop and really work on it to make sure she understands it.

We were worried about the socialization aspect so we enrolled her in gymnastics, swimming, dance and 4-H. She is in these classes with kids her own age, older children, and younger. She handles adults better than some adults I have seen. When my husband and I decide to have another child, we are going to homeschool them also!

Answer 3

what , how to be beat up by bullies.

Answer 4

I would homeschool to a point because I'm smarter and more skilled that ALL highschool teachers

I was first published at age 16 in Sky and Telescope a technical journal and have since been published in Complete Woman, Technical Photography, Moving Images, Income Oppourtunies and other internaltiona publications.  My pictures have been in newspapers and magazines, my films and commercials on TV, the music I produced was broadcats world wide and recieved ASCAP royalties and current airplay status.

No, I REPEAT NO high school teacher and FEW college teachers can reach my resume.

I put stuff on TV, into magazines and onto radio, not once, not twice, but regularly!

I've gotten people into the Screen Actors Guild

My TV commercial producing partners got a show to pilot for NBC TV and told me how they did it.

I do, regularly, what only about 5 or 10 million people in the world do, so why should I trust my kids education to some dummy with a BA degree in nothing and no real work experience!?

You think I'm a fool!!!

I DEFY any HIGH SCHOOL teacher to take me on.  I hold the equivalent of at least ONE PH D and several masters degrees and have 40 years work experience with proof.

I am IN the Reader's Guide to Periodical Literature

I am IN your big city public library and MORE THAN ONE TIME

I was homeschooled in typing and music at the age of 6 and was typing 45 WPM by age 8 and entering books into talent festivals and submitting stories to magazines by age 10 and published by age 16

None of my friends came from school.  They came from where I lived, my other friends and the work place

This fallousy about socilization is why girls get pregnant at 17 and never go to college and end up on welfare forever because the think they'll never have a husband if they don't get preganant as a Junior in highschool.

That's why all the Ulgy Betty's have college degrees, they were socially unacceptable and never got knocked up!

Answer 5

I don't have kids yet, but when I do they will be homeschooled until they are old enough to decide their educational fate on their own.  I was homeschooled K-12 and loved it.  My brother was homeschooled K-9 and then went to a private school.  He loved both 'schools' becuase he needed different things at different times.  My little sister is currently in the 7th grade and has always homeschooled.  

You are right though.  I myself know some families who homeschool and should not be doing so.  However, for every bad homeschool family, there is a bad public, private, unschooled, whatever other kind of family to match.  So  it's really not fair to target homeschoolers only.  MOst of the homeschoolers I know are more social than public schoolers I know, but that's just people I know.

Answer 6

I will definitely home school my future children. Homeschoolers are socialized just like the avarage adult......they don't stay locked inside their houses all day like their afraid of sun light.

Answer 7

Never. It makes your children lazy.

My little sister is homeschooled.

Kids tend to get very lazy, they grow an attitude. You gain no social qualities.

Answer 8

It's way to complicated.  It depend on their needs.  So I would if they seemed to make friends easily, but not if they have trouble with that kind of stuff.  I have been homeschooled since preschool and never went to any day care so I don't know.  I don't think I want to homeschool my kids someday.

Answer 9

I *do* homeschool my kids. Why? Because I taught and didn't like what went on in school. My husband is also a teacher and doesn't like what he sees in school. We also know that an individualized education program is far better for every child than one program for every child. That's the short version of my "why".

In some cases, homeschooling *isn't* healthy: the parents are barely raising the kids, much less able to be guides and support their children in their learning; some families are abusive or have substance abuse; certain mental health issues would be a problem, too.

But homeschooling isn't that widespread. The vast majority of parents who choose homeschooling to do to give their children something better than what schools have to offer. Many had their kids in school and pulled them when they'd had enough.

My experience teaching showed me that schools were NOT the best environment for learning better social skills. Yes, definitely, I had students in my class who probably would have learned no social skill--or anything else--if they'd homeschooled with their parents. But homeschooling for most people doesn't actually mean staying at home all the time. And there's no psychological nor social reason why human beings need to spend 13 years of their lives with 20-30 other people the same age in order to learn proper social skills (I say this in part from having taken courses in psychology, child psychology and sociology). This mass schooling model has only been around for about 100 and some years--surely people had social skills before that?

ADDED: Thomas Jefferson, who wanted to make sure all kids COULD have an education, was actually taught at home by his sister. :)

Answer 10

I homeschool my kids, so the answer is...YES!

You'd be surprised at how antisocial public school kids are....and how very social homeschooled kids are. My kids are in the real world every day instead of having it limited to interactions with their agemates and single authority figures.

You are right in that there are some homeschooling families who utilize the program to isolate their children, but there are just as many examples of publicly schooled children under the same strictures. Have you read 'A child called It"? He was being hideously abused for four years before anyone at school did something about it. Examples like that are not unheard of....

Answer 11

I homeschool my son primarily because there is a safety issue of him going to school with other students.

I have to disagree about the 'social environment' though. When my son gets older (right now he is three, and learning things like motor skills and prayers) he is going to have as much interaction with others as he would if he was in a 'real' school. Right now, he enjoys going to the hospital where I do army administrative work and talking to everyone - how children interact with others does not depend on being thrown into school, but how they are taught at home.

Answer 12

I not only "would" homeschool my kids, I "do" homeschool my kids.  They are 100% healthy and they have BETTER social skills than most kids their age.  When we are out people fall all over themselves to compliment them.  

I think my kids' social skills are so great because they aren't exposed to all the negative socialization of public schools.  You know, where kids tease and bully each other, and make fun of each other's clothes, and cannot be bothered to speak politely to adults?  :)

Here is some info on homeschooling and socialization:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

Answer 13

We do homeschool.

Our son was not learning in school.  He was in the 8th grade and did not write in cursive.  The teachers thought this was ok as long as he could print  legibly.   He did not spell correctly.  The teachers thought this was ok as long as he could express himself.  He did not use proper punctuation.  The teachers thought that this was ok. too.  

He did not do his work in math.  The reason was that he pretended to understand several years ago and they just kept sending him to next grade without him knowing the material.

He was in trouble with the teachers constantly for being  social.  His social skills are off the chart but we had a fear that if he could write a resume, fill out an application form, or pass  a basic placement test that the social part might not be enough to get him through life.  He was in trouble at home constantly because we would try to correct the things that the school accepted.  They said he was operating at his potential.   They were wrong.

We started homeschooling.   There are no excuses here.  He did not do his homework at school, he did not lose it on the bus, or  he did not leave it in his locker.

There are no excuses of 'that's not the way the teacher did it', or 'the teacher did not explain it'.    

It is wonderful to live in this day and age where we have cars, phones, and internet.  We can actually leave our homes and go out and join clubs, sports teams, and volunteer.  We can call our friends.  We can meet our friends to do fun things together.   We can read books we get at the library.  We can read online.  We use audio books, videos, and internet sites.

There is no excuse for anyone not getting an education and having a social life in our modern age.

Answer 14

I was homeschooled from the 7th grade through 8th. The year I should have been a freshman in high school, I started college. My sisters were both homeschooled from a very young age. The school system I grew up in was c**p! We lived in a rural area and school was more about who had the right last name and who played the right sports than it was about academics. Under circumstances such as those, I would absolutely homeschool my children [when I have some.] Kids can be socialized even if they are homeschooled. Contrary to popular belief, not all homeschoolers are awkward, painfully shy misfits or hermits. Even when my sisters and I were homeschooled, we maintained close friendships with others, we participated in gymnastics, Girl Scouts, 4-H, etc... We never lacked socialization. Our local school system just failed to provide academic opportunities.

Answer 15

I'm 15 almost 16 and I have been home schooled since I started school. I LOVE it! I can take my time and actually learn things, where as being in the school system, the teachers don't have time to spend with you if you don't understand something. I go to New Life Church, and they have a home school program there for enrichment classes, and everyone, including me, all have lots of friends! I also ride horses so I have friends there too. If your children do sports and things in the summer or things like that we socialize there as well. I think home schooling is great!

Answer 16

I would. I do.

        I don't want to come off as rude, but I don't agree with the mental leap you have made concerning social skills. While I expect every parent to consider every angle before choosing the way they will raise and educate their child, I don't think enough people really inspect this "socialization" aspect closely enough.

      You've stated you don't believe it is healthy. You've clarified that the reason you think this is that they need to be in a good environment to learn social skills. So far, this is great reasoning! I agree that children do need that. But, think about this: Why do you think the home and community at large is not as healthy or suitable for learning social skills. Why is a big brick school better? What does each have to offer the child in the way of lessons?

I'm going to give you my opinion and I want you to consider it. If you don't agree, that is fine. Just be sure you are not assuming that what is popular is best. It is an easy mistake to make.

IMO:

I am not in the business of raising a child. I am raising an adult. (As in you don't grow seeds, you grow the tomato.) I ultimately want her to function independently in the world at large as an adult. I do not feel that being stuck in a government institution with rules similar to the prison system (from the uniforms, lack of privacy, metal detectors, forced community, strict schedule and random searches to the well established pecking order and constant threat of violence.) with other children at her age level is appropriate to that goal. I want my child to grow to value diversity, independent thought and  people regardless of their social standing or financial situation. Again, I went to public school and the harsh bullying, cruel cliques and extreme focus on being rich, popular and looking a certain way does not serve to create the adult I want my child to grow into. In schools, kids conform, not to make friends, but to avoid being bullied and ostracized. I'm currently helping to form a mentoring group for public schools, as requested by the mother of a public school student who has recently learned that her daughter and her friends are Bulimic and cutting. This is a growing problem in our school system. How is that a healthy social environment? Some say this prepares them for the real world, but I have never worked anywhere or shopped anywhere where I  had to carry a mesh or clear purse for fear I was planning to go on a shooting spree. The kids at our local schools do. They are each treated as potential murderers, for their own safety. In my home, my child is treated as a good, healthy, appreciated person. Lao Tzu once said, "Treat a man as though he is honorable, and he will be honorable. In so doing, you also gain honor."  Jesus said, "Raise up a child in the manner you will have him be and when he is grown he will not depart from it". I believe that. I also believe that I am capable of nurturing my child in all ways. That is what it means to be a parent. Their whole childhood is like that first lesson in riding a bike. You hold on to the back and run along close by at first, so that they will have the skill and confidence to ride on safely without you. You don't do it because you are frightened or sheltering them. You know that by teaching them to ride, you are facilitating their participation in a potentially dangerous activity. You do it so that they will have a base experience to build on. Teaching manners and sociability is like that. I can certainly do a better job at it than 30 odd teenagers who are each struggling to blossom into adulthood themselves. I don't want her to learn how to get along in a situation (public school) that she will never be in as an adult. I want her to learn the real world and how to operate in it. It took me some time to unlearn high school. Many of my public schooled friends did not develop real world social skills until after college. Some never learned at all and now their social lives are non-existent. It has affected them negatively in business and in romance. As adults, the dating pool does not come to you. You have to go find it. Your boss will not see your name on the honor role and assume you deserve a promotion. You will not automatically be moved up to the next grade or position. You have to take the initiative. Homeschoolers are not secluded. They have people over. They go out and meet folks. They can participate in a mind blowing number of community activities. A homeschooled child/youth is not a prisoner on lock down. They are set free from such strictures. They don't only hang with people who are just like them. Those are all stereotypes. If anything they have more opportunities to socialize with a wider variety of individuals. They're social experiences may be different from their traditionally schooled peers, but different does not necessarily mean better or worse. I encourage you to imagine the amazing opportunities a child has outside of the brick school system. There is so much more to gain than there is to miss.

EDIT: Amy: As a parent is it my job to save an outdated system or to raise my child? My kid will not be sacrificed on the alter of the failing school system as an act of community service.

EDIT:I got busy with something else and randomly realized that I had misquoted Lao Tzu. Here is the actually quote. I still think it applies. "Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained." I had seen a different translation, but my version was still off by about a mile.

EDIT: Amy, you crack me up!

"Glee unfortunatly to many are to lazy to stand up for their country.Saving the school system is more than an act of community .Sheltering your child is nothing more than admitting your own failures as a parent or in your religion.If you truly trust the beliefs you install in your children they'll know it and while they may wonder from them occasionally they usually find there way back on their own."

1st: I'm lazy because I've taken the responsibility of educating my child on my own shoulders rather than send her off for 8 hrs a day and hope for the best? Interesting. Also, this country was around long before public school. A country is her people. No more, no less. I'm in the business of raising an American citizen and being an American citizen. I'm very active in my community and to have you insinuate otherwise only proves your ignorance and arrogance.

2nd: Just what do you think my religion is, oh presumptuous one? You don't have to be a follower of Christ to appriciate his teachings. I quoted Jesus because he had alot of great ideas that ring true today. I was referencing him in a general context, not a religious one. You don't know me or my child. Calling any parent a failure sight unseen is about the most cowardly and ignorant thing a person can do. That coment alone tells me everything about you that there is to know. Your ability to ignore the facts at hand and instead choose a personal attack is just another example of the kind of "socialization" you have learned in school.

Answer 17

I so agree with you that kids should be put in a social environment so they can build better social skills.

I do not believe, however, that a traditional school is the best place to accomplish this. I believe homeschooling provides better socialization opportunities because children have more time to see other people modeling acceptable behaviors and socialization skills.

I highly recommend this new book called The Well-Adjust Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling. Read about it here: http://www.amazon.com/Well-Adjusted-Chil...

If you want to learn how to do something well, you learn best from others who already do that something well, not others who are just learning the ropes! I believe homeschooling allows more real world experiences for children - they have more opportunities to be with a wide variety of ages than they do in a traditional classroom.

Answer 18

No I don't think homeschooling is the answer.Many of Americas public schools need help pulling kids from them isn't the answer.Standing up voicing your opinion and carefully choosing who you vote for is the answer.Thomas Jefferson wanted all children to have a chance for education and the public school system was made so that could happen.Some parents pull their kids based on religious beliefs.I have a hard time understanding their logic.Many object to the mere mention of alternate lifestyles in school but fail to realize their religious viewpoints are an alternative lifestyle as well.All children should be able to attend school without being judged wether that child is g*y, transgendered or religious.We live in a country that was founded on individual choice we should be gratefull and honor that by instilling those beliefs in children and working to make this country better for the next generation instead of wishing how they could be like our generation.Glee unfortunatly to many are to lazy to stand up for their country.Saving the school system is more than an act of community .Sheltering your child is nothing more than admitting your own failures as a parent or in your religion.If you truly trust the beliefs you install in your children they'll know it and while they may wonder from them occasionally they usually find there way back on their own.Honestly I quit public school when I was younger because it was boring and repetitive.I joined the military and tested for a ged which I passed.If the public school system hadn't taught me the ability to self educate thru reading I never would have passed the GED.So despite all that I would love to see the public school system repaired and the need for parents to think their the be all end all to educating their children to come to an end.

Answer 19

The assumption that the only way to socialize a child is to stick her in an artificial environment full of other kids her age is ludicrous. Parents can socialize their children beautifully - not to mention, there are plenty of activities for children that don't depend on a school system.

I fully intend on homeschooling my daughter because the public school system is a bad joke, and we can't afford a decent private school.

Answer 20

Our kids are not home schooled, but we did consider it.

If circumstances were correct, we would have no problem doing it.

The socialization argument is the most over used argument against home schooling.  Kids socialize with others in their neighborhood, with kids at church, when they go to Chuck E. Cheese, etc.

I would not let the lack of socialization be a hinderance to home schooling, because it simply is not the case.

Answer 21

Well, I do homeschool my son, so my answer would have to be yes :-)

Homeschooling is not always the answer, just as public and/or private school is not always the answer.  Each child has different needs, and should be educated according to those needs.  However, many children to function very, very well in a homeschool environment.

And honestly, the whole social thing is a myth...homeschooled kids are in social environments all the time.  In fact, they are in the *real* social environment - actual society :-)  They learn to deal with more than classroom politics and playground rivalries, they learn how real life works by being around it every day.

Hope that helps!

Edit...Amy, your logic is flawed.  Yes Thomas Jefferson did want an education to be available to all - but he never once said that everyone had to have exactly the same education, in exactly the same format.  He, himself, was a lifelong auto-didact and held learning according to one's abilities and interests in high value.

Public school is not the root of all evil, and it's not a horrible thing; it's just plain not right for every child.  For those children who don't learn well in that environment, or with the teaching methods and curriculum that are logistically necessary in a classroom, what are they to do?  Do they deserve any less of an education just because they don't "fit" those logistics?

We don't homeschool our kids because we want to separate them from society...we homeschool our kids because for whatever reason, it's what's best for them.  Please allow us the freedom that Jefferson envisioned, the freedom for our children to have the education that they deserve.  Some kids achieve that inside the walls of a classroom, others achieve it in other ways, but they all deserve it.

Answer 22

no

Answer 23

Well public school isn't the only social environment out there.

Answer 24

We homeschool BECAUSE of the better environment for developing mature social skills.

For anyone seriously considering homeschooling as an option, here is what you need to do to really put this myth behind you as part of your decision making.

Get out and meet some homeschool kids and their families.  Attend a few homeschool meetings / events.

For comparison / contrast - sit in on a public school assembly.

100% guaranteed you will no longer be concerned about the socialization myth.

*** Army M says: "We live in a country that was founded on individual choice..."

And yet she would deny individual choice in how to raise and educate one's own child.   Let me think... there is a word for that...

Answer 25

Yes.

Absolutely, I will.

I'm 15, home-educated and a lifelong unschooler. I am thankful and glad that my parents chose to home-educate me and my siblings. I'm even more glad they decided that we should be raised as unschoolers.

I will *definitely* raise my own kids the same way when I have them.

And, when they eventually have their own kids, I will do whatever I can to encourage them to unschool my grandkids.

Btw there is heaps of evidence that unschooling results in kids who have high levels of self-esteem, tolerance, integrity, fairness, understanding, sensitivity, compassion, assertiveness, independence, self-reliance, creativity, individuality, humour, self-motivation and common sense...in addition to home-education in general resulting in kids who demonstrate 'significantly more mature social skills'.

(Research carried out by the University of Darwin, NT and Oxford University...among others).

Answer 26

Well, since this is the homeschooling category, you'll find many of us here are already HS'ing our children.

You can search the archived messages for the why's and how's of HS'ing.  You'll also see all the anti-homeschool questions and answers.

As for the social aspect (or lack of it as many people think), there are lots of places that prove kids are *better* with social skills than their brick & mortar schooled peers.  Why is that?  Because they are out and about in the community with *all* ages, not just in a classroom of 20-30 kids 1 year on either side of them in age.

The thing with B&M schools is this:  kids are there for an *education*, not social time.  Kids are told not to talk in class, not to talk at lunch, and given maybe a 20-minute recess where they can talk.  This is how my daughter's public school runs.

I homeschool my son because he's profoundly gifted and no B&M school will work for him.  HS'ing gives him an individualized education.

The social environment of HS'ing is the REAL world, where you deal with people of all races, socio-economic classes, ages, abilities, etc.  Just yesterday my son was at HS ice skating with kids from 3-18.  Some of the kids were handicapped.  There were all races there, not just the kids who live in our public school's geographic area.

Here are some great links:

Homeschooling and the Myth of Socialization

A good essay on the Socialization Myth

http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig/zysk1.ht...

No Thank You, We Don't Believe in Socialization!

http://www.webeans.net/hutt/socialize.ht...

Paula's Archives - Socialization

http://www.redshift.com/~bonajo/socializ...

Research Shows Great Things

http://www.thehomeschoolmagazine.com/How...