Would you just bring them?

Question

I'm 16 weeks pregnant and I have 14 month old twins.

I have an appointment on Thursday morning at 9:00 AM and I was discussing it with my husband. I wanted his mother to babysit for me so I could go alone but he said he didn't want his mother to babysit but he wanted his father to babysit.

His parents are divorced.

I'm not doubting his father, but he has the beginning of Parkinsons and I worry about his health. They are very busy and demanding right now and I'm going to be concerned the entire time that he could fall down, pass out, drop one of them, something like that.

His dad wants to babysit them, he lives next door, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of it.

He is feuding with his mother so he really doesn't want her to do it.

I just feel like saying "forget it" and just bringing them to my OB appointment despite the fact that they're probably going to be distracting and act out.

I'd just cancel the appointment but I should have prenatal care.

*sigh*

What would you do?

Answer 1

I would leave his whole family out of it and ask a friend or get a baby sitter for an hour or two. Do you maybe have any relatives of your own near by to ask?

That way you don't depend on anyone's health, feuds, dogs etc.

Talk to your husband about this argument he has with his mum. Ask him to please sort it out for your and the kids' sake and explain that you really need someone around who can help out who's reliable. Obviously his dad is no option if he is ill and he needs to look after dogs and he's doing everything he can to get out of his duties, so it'll need to be his mum. If he doesn't want her to look after your kids and you do, doesn't that count for anything?

Answer 2

tell your father in law that you really want to take him and the kids out to lunch, and bring them along he could watch the kids in the car or in the waiting room while you are in seeing the doc. Its not like you will be in there for a long time. then  you don't have to worry about hurting your father in laws feelings and you don't have to worry about the safety of your kids!!!

Answer 3

I wouldnt leave them with your F I L considering Parkinsons.I would be worrying the entire time. Im sorry your so stressed considering you are expecting + you have 14 month old twins...busy life!! If I were you, I would talk to you M I L and have her watch them. Why wouldnt your husband like that idea? Is it because he is taking his Dads side over his Moms? Do whatever YOU feel is best.

Answer 4

Well I remember your question from the other day regarding your dear husband, could he not get time off work to come with you and help you out? It may be nice to take both him and the twins with you seeing as it's an important apt. I definitely would not struggle with them both on your own. I would talk to your husband and explain your reservations about his father and explain that regardless of his freud with him mother, you'd feel more comfortable leaving them with her.  

Answer 5

i'd take them and have dad sit with them in the waiting area while you are in your appointment

Answer 6

i take my daughter with me too all my appointments(she will be two in about 2 weeks), don't have a choice no one else can watch her. its only one visit if you really don't want to leave them with his dad take them.  

Answer 7

Bring them with you but ask your FIL to watch them in the waiting room while you're in with the doctor. That way everyone is happy!

Answer 8

Ask your MIL to babysit and tell your husband you are bringing the twins with you!

Answer 9

You're the one that has to deal with it, so you make the final decision.  Unless you have reason to believe that your MIL would cause any problems for your girls, leave them with her.  Your hubby doesn't have to like it, he just has to deal with it.  If she's going to be the best sitter for you go ahead and leave them with her.

I would say that you would do fine to take them with you if you are really competent at managing them when you're out in situations like that.  It might be possible for you to just keep them in a stroller most of the time and have minimal problems.  Most waiting rooms have tons of toys, so they could get some play time there, then be shuffled back into the stroller for your exam, which only will take 10-15 minutes tops, yes?

Another option you have is to reschedule your appointment for a time that your hubby can babysit.  You're not forfeiting prenatal care, just making it a bit more convenient for you.

Answer 10

This is hard. I really don't know if I would leave them with you fil. Not only are they 14 mos, which is a crazy, busy age. But there are two of them.

  I would look into getting someone else, or I would take them to your mil. JUst because your hubby is upset with her, is no reason for her to not be with her grandkids. Taking them to your appointment could be done, but very difficult, and stressful for you too.

Answer 11

it's ridiculous for your husband to punish his mother by withholding time w/her grandchildren.

that's very cruel of him indeed!! and petty. if you are stressed you need to tell him. i would also suggest telling him how selfish he is! stealing away precious time for your girls to spend w/their grandmother because of his own issues. i would KILL for 5 more minutes w/my grandfather!

(sorry, that just annoyed me)

as for the grandfather doing the watching...do he and his ex get along at all?

if they do, maybe she could show up and help out.  

Edit:

i hope you dont mind. i saw another answer saying they read a previous question about your husband and that got my curiosity up so i peeked at your other questions.

i have to say that after reading it, and realizing the attitude your husband has...im very surprised that you are still with him.

if my husband had talked to me in the way that yours did you he would have had a foot shoved so far up his backside his eyes would be blinking NIKE!

You dont have 2 kids hon, you have 3. your husband is #3! he is a very selfish man indeed.

he doesn't put anyone elses feelings before his own. he expects to be catered to, and when things dont go his way..the throws a fit like a baby.

i really feel for you hon. i married a man just like that 11 yrs ago. i left him after 2 yrs of putting up w/his c**p. i was wife #2 for him...he's currently on #5. while i found a nice man, who respects me and my children.

i really wish i could help you out! i feel terrible for you. you must be emotionally drained. im so sorry.

Answer 12

You're a twin Mommy!!!  You're used to have 2 of them all of the time.  While I know it would be alot easier to go to your ob appointment without them, you can take them with you.  Your prenatal appts are usually not that long.  You go in, pee in a cup, get weighed, have your bp checked, the dr talks a minute and you're done...  So, pack them in the stroller with some snacks and toys, and troop through it.. You can do it!

Its best not to stress yourself out over these things.  Life is what it is.  And you're right, you do need prenatal care.  So yea, take them with you.. HOWEVER--- I'm a person to hold grudges so personally, I'd make your husbnd feel like **** for making you do everything!  Lately, you havent "painted" the best picture of your husband.  Frankly, he sounds like a real jerk!!!  He doesnt want to help you out at all and thats just night right.  Being a parent, its a 2 person job....  but he isnt stepping up to the plate.  I think you need to put your foot down and straighten this man out.

Answer 13

Look, your the mom, tell your MIL, you are worried for you kids and your husband isnt right now. You want the best for them, tell him that later, you dont have to tell him who you left them with. Just leave them with your MIL and your not the one fighting with his mom, he is.

Answer 14

Is there someone who is maybe not old enough to babysit all on their own who could come "visit" for the day?