Would you keep in touch with your ex-dead beat for your child sake?

Question

I am a single mother of a precious 10 months old baby boy. After 7+ years of relationship with baby`s father, we were evicted from our apartment and broke up at the same time when the baby was 4 months old. Not only he was not trying to hold onto A job, he was not trying to stop (or even slow down on) smoking weed even when he didn`t have money for living expenses. To me he was a dead beat. I had to buy & pay most of the things even after C-section. All he did was play station, be on computer, watch TV and smoke weed. Most of our relationship, he kept promising over and over that he would grow up and do what he is supposed to do as a man so that we can have a happy family. So I was coned. Right after our brake up, I left country with my son to live with my parents, he got with another girl who has 2 daughters. He got her pregnant right away and she is having his baby. He has written me emails asking for our son`s pictures acting like he`s done nothing wrong. I don`t see no point keeping in touch with him. Because what is the point for my son to keep in touch with his biological father if the father is not doing anything to support him financially & emotionally? And it is so disrespedtaful for my son that he had made another baby when my son was only 5 or 6 months old.

What he has done is so evil, I just don`t want to deal with a person like that. But some of my friends tells me I should keep in touch with him for my son`s happiness. I really don`t see that. Please let me know what you think. I would like to know how you would deal with this if you were in my shoes. Thanks.

Answer 1

keep in touch for the child support

Answer 2

Yes, i think you should still make connections to that person. you know why because someday your son will ask about his father. I know that your still angry with your ex but if you really cant stand to talk to him right now tell him that honestly and if the bitterness is still there, have some time but remember that someday, your son will ask for his father just like me asking what my fathers look like, i have not seen my father since my mother gave birth to me even pictures,my family kept me away when my father is looking for me they send me far away so that my father can't trace me, i understand that your very angry but my point it i do not want your child to become like me someday, even though my family field me with lots of love still theres that feeling of emptiness in my heart.  I also got pregnant with my boyfriend but I know from the time i gave myself to him, I have prepared myself for the consequences that might happen, he might not marry me, and you know what he ask me to abort the child but i stand to keep the child, i have done this thing and i should be responsible for it, he support the child even if he doesnt have any work yet, and when we have our second baby he even ask me to abort it again but i still stand to give birth to that child, it really hurts me but i know i love him. we are already married right now and just got married last year. my point here is that your child is a blessing and you should be thankful to it. if i am on your situation i will do the same thing to go to other places to have a fresh starts and to stand up to my falls, after i have recovered i will come back and proudly say to the person who causes all the troubles that I have survive and thankful and that guy didnt marry you, you know why, because he doesnt deserve you. it's his lost not yours. JUST FOCUS ON GIVING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD AND EXPLAIN TO HIM AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE YOUR SITUATION. i ALSO DO HOPE THAT YOU'VE LEARNED FROM THAT EXPERIENCE.if still prefer not to contact him, I just hope you save some photos of your fathers child, from that your child will not completely feel so empty or he will not feel that theres something missing  in his life. atleast your son know how he gets his nose or eyes. etc... i just hope this message helps

Answer 3

Well, you pretty much just answered your own question.  I honestly thing that you shouldn't keep in touch with him, especially of he isn't gonna stick around for his son to grow up.  Good luck with your baby.

Answer 4

i would cut all ties with him  

Answer 5

You need to at least know where he is, so your son can one day find him. It's his right to know who and where his dad is.