Would you leave someone because you felt like you were moving on in life but they weren't?

Question

My ex girlfriend (both of us are 22) ended it with me a month ago saying that she felt she was moving on with her life and career while i was just staying still. She used to see us having a future together but now says she cant see it. We were together for well over a year and a half and everything seemed fine until this happened.

It all started after she finished uni and started her new job in marketing. I am trying to get in the fire brigade and have been doing so for about 2 years so at the moment i am stuck in a job with no future. She wants a house in 2 years and eventually kids and doesn't feel like a firemans wage would support a family. We talked about the issues and said we would try to sort things out. over the next few weeks i could tell she wasn't happy. I asked her if she was ok and she said she thought we could get through this but now doesn't think we can so she ended it.

Do you think this is a valid reason for ending a long relationship in which we were completely in love at one point? Could she just be feeling confused about leaving university? I am 100% certain there isn't anyone else involved.

We were still getting on fine and talking, having great s*x and having laughs together right up until it ended. We were completely civil as it ended and we hugged and kissed goodbye. She is still wearing a ring i got her and still has pictures of me up (confusing or what?). We have spoken a couple of times but have not seen eachother since.

Any opinions on the situation? Would you have done the same?

Thanks.

Answer 1

wow.

i would just tell her that you are trying to get your life together... i personally would never leave anyone if i felt i was going somewhere and they werent. if i were her, i would just support you as much as i could.

im sorry about your situation though =]

Answer 2

She is moving up and on with her life and having a crisis. She is trying to get a time line (2 yrs to a house, kids in 3, etc.) to fit in her life. Time lines are great, but they can't be set in stone. You have to be flexible. For some reason she doesn't see your pursuits as a legitimate career. I wonder why? Is she frustrated that your entry into the fire department is so slow? Where I come from, firemen make good money and are held in high esteem, but it is very slow and difficult to get in. She needs to take some time to clear her head and get things straight. What sucks is that you have to sit on the sidelines and wait.  Give her some time. You both are very young and have a long life ahead of you, so if she doesn't come around to your way of thinking, move on and have a wonderful career/family with someone else. It will be hard and emotional, but you deserve someone who will love you, stick by you and share in your dreams. Good luck.

Answer 3

she doesn't want you mate

she's just scared totell you

move on, likely her loss

don't waste any more time

i bet if you do these things she'll be back

Answer 4

There's something you really need to keep in mind.  Just because she 'said' she feels you're not moving on in life does not make it so!  She was not seeing what was, in her mind, 'appriopriately-paced progress'.  Consider yourself very, very fortunate the relationship ended when it did.  She very clearly had her eye on the 'prize'.  had you managed to keep pace through getting married, I promise you, you would have been in for a very ugly wakeup call.  The relationship would have changed from delightful fun to a "Serious Commitment".  

I am sorry it did not work out, but be grateful for the time you had.  Now you have the time to do whatever you want at your own pace, rather than living up to someone else's unreasonable expectations.

Answer 5

Anyone can end a relationship for any reason, valid or not. She's too young to be in a serious committed relationship right now and wants to be free to explore her career and whatever or whoever that brings. Sorry but she doesn't sound confused at all.

She didn't immediately remove her ring and photos because she's transitioning out mentally. She cares about you, but she said she can't see you  having a future together.