Would you leave you 1 year old with a child minder?

Question

im really not sure if i would. she is my baby and i know her best. I'd feel as if i couldn't concentrate on my work or any thing. my friend leaves her 2 sons, one is 3 and one is 15 months, in a nursery, all day from 9-4, and she doesnt even work these hours!! there is no way i could do that. at the moment we are lucky to have my mum in-law, she has her when i have to work, i suppose there are mums and dads out there who this isn't possible for. i just dont feel i could leave her with some one i don't know. does any body else feel this way?

Answer 1

yes.........but most times it is ok and they learn to be social too

Answer 2

I gave up work when my daughter was born and didn't go back to work until she started school.  For me and my husband a child minder wasn't an option.  We wanted me to be there to raise her.  I have since given up work again as I found that the 13 weeks a year school holiday time was becoming a problem as I had no child care cover.  I agree with you, I would never leave my child with somebody I don't know completely and we don't have any family members that can step in with childcare. Though if we did I must add that I wouldn't ask them.  I am a firm believer that if you have children you raise them.

Answer 3

I personally would not i have 2 sons aged 8 n 3 and i worked but had to change my hours to fit in around with them being with family i cud not leave them with anyone else...i guess tho it has to be done some people put them in full time care as soon as they can because they have to while other mum just do it cos they cannot be bothered looking after their own children!  

Answer 4

You have to be able to feel you can trust the person who is looking after your child.  My first daughter went to a childmilnder since she was 6 months old.  We chose a childminder over a nursery as they seem to be more flexible with their working hours and both me and my husband work shifts.  We found someone who we felt we could trust and who would use our routine etc to look after our daughter, and she settled in ok.  I didn't want to leave her but had to go back to work.  When I return to work after this pregnancy my baby will go to the same childminder.

Answer 5

I can understand if it is for work and you are not lucky enough to have a family member watch them, what other choice would the mom have.. she cant quit her job, that would leave them with nothing and living in a box... so yes it would be ok to leave them at a daycare or baby sitter.

If she just wants to fiddle faddle around and go shopping or sleep, no it is not ok.. maybe for like an hour or 2 if she had to do something that is too hard with a child or maybe she has to go to the doctor.. but 7 hours?? thats insane, and that time is important for the children..     im lucky to have my mom to watch my son, but at one point he went to day care, it was his first time and he was 3  i absolutely hated it and worried about him all day.. it was a huge distraction from work and i called everyhour,... they probably thought i was nuts lol.. after about a month of insanity i finally just decided to drive an hour everyday to drop him off at my moms lol...  that is actually kinda rediculous of me..  i now live a few blocks from my mom and he starts kindergarden monday so no more worries :) :) :)  

Answer 6

Absolutely.

I wouldn't trust my nephew's safety in the care of some randoms.

I've witnessed some bullying in the childcare places, not a whole lot the minders can do about it when you have an overly aggressive child that just won't listen to the carers. (time-out corners pffft please. this one kid punched another in the face and grabbed the toy from him when told to go the the corner he just plainly said NO and walked off)

If you do have to resort to childcare, make sure they also have a current first aid certificate just in case something happens

Answer 7

sure i would offload the child asap!

Answer 8

no

i would pesonly never leave my chiled with a chiled minder what evr the reason: a job? no, a friend? no, a boyfriend? NEVER

Answer 9

h**l no it's the parents responsibility to look after their children.

Answer 10

No one would leave their child if they had they had the choice...well most anyways! But its not a choice for a lot of us :(  I would go with a Nursery mainly because I had a bad experience with a childminder with my eldest son and would never ever dream of leaving my baby with one because you just never ever know what happens.  Babies cant talk and luckily for me my son was 6 when he went to his childminder and could tell me excatly what was happening and well he didnt go to her for very long!  He came home using words he didnt know and she was calling him a grass and things and favoured her own children over the ones she was minding!  

I never had any problems when he went to nursery.  He loved nursery all the other kids, the adults, the toys and learning.  I am going to be sending my other son to the same nursery it was that good :)  

Answer 11

Childcare choices are difficult for all parents. Especially these days when the income from one source is rarely enough to meet our aspirations. In an ideal world none of us would be looking for this care outside of our own extended network/family. However, if you can take the time to meet with various childminders, visit their homes and 'get a feeling' for how they relate to children this may put your mind at rest. In England all childminders must be registered with Ofsted and meet a reasonably stringent set of criteria. From September this year they must also follow the Early Years Foundation Stage. I have seen quite a few day nurseries and met with a variety of childminders and personally, given a choice between the two, for children under three years, I would always pick a childminder.

Answer 12

I used to feel the same way. I couldn't leave my little boy with anyone I didn't know really well until he was 3yrs old. I felt once he was 3, and was able to tell me him himself whether he liked where he was and who he was with, he was safer.

I also researched and checked the nursery carefully before letting him attend.

I think the reason for my caution was that when I was 2yrs old my parents left me with a childminder who mistreated me. I was too young to tell my parents.

And the only reason I put my little boy in nursery care for a few hours a week was to help him socialise and enjoy the acitivities the nursery had to offer. It actually has been of great benefit to him, and prepared him for primary school.

Don't feel bad about being protective of your little girl. If my parents had been a bit wiser I wouldn't have some of the problems I have today.

xx

Answer 13

No I don't agree,  as you said it depends on your circumstances,  some women have no alternative to work - yes it is diffucult at first but when I am at work I work,  when I am with my daughter the time we spend is quality time,  we have time packed full of activities or places to go, rather me trying to jugle housework with looking after her.

I  would not leave her with a minder or one family member but am happy with a nursery environment. Why - because my daughter receives positive learning experiences all day long - learns how to interact and share with other children,  learns good routines and some independance from me, without having one "role model" and puts her in a good position when she starts school. I feel it is rare for a child to learn this much with a family member.

I looked around alot of nurseries before I chose the one I did and read up alot about them and some of my preferences came into that decision - ie it is better if the nursery is a purpose built open plan area rather than a house (bullying does not go unnoticed - all carers work together in same room)  They have excellent policies and any child who is out of control at the risk of other children is eventually removed from the nursery. Ofsted reports are available for all registered nurseries which show indepth how the nurseries work etc.

Add ontop of this that it has been proved that children who attend nursery receive better results at school, 30% higher in English and Maths than those who had not been to nursery, and 50% higher if they had attended a high-quality nursery from the age of two.

So yes I would much prefer to spend more time with my child ( I work full time),  but that is simply not possible for me and I would still send my daughter to nursery (via the free childcare sessions) simply due to better start in education they receive (obviously she doesn't see it as learning but play),  she is much more advanced both literally and socially than other children her age who have not attended nursery - on top of that the parents have built up a brilliant network of support for each other - I am pregnant with my second now and several of the parents who i now know well have offered to entertain my daughter if I ever need a break.

Answer 14

For some families or women, there is no choice but to use a babysitter or daycare service, either part time or full time. My husband makes good money, but not enough that I can stop working. Daycare is expensive, and sure I would prefer to be home with my children - but I need to work to bring in some extra money to support our family. We have a lot of bills, including some hefty student loans from college, and there is just no way we could pay it all if I was not working.

And so, with my first baby I went back to work at 12 weeks and at that point, we started her in daycare. My husband works 8-5, and I work night shifts 9:30 pm to 7:30 am, so I sleep during the day. Typically my daughter is in daycare from 9:00 (I bring her before going to sleep for the day) until 5:15, when my husband gets off of work and picks her up. I spend an hour with her each morning, and we both spend all evening with her before she goes to bed. Plus, of course, all weekend every weekend we are both with her. Like I said, it is not ideal, but we are doing what we have to do. Now with #2 on the way, the plan is again to go back to work after my 12 weeks maternity leave, at which point baby will be starting daycare. My older daughter will remain in daycare while I am off work, only because she loves it now and has a routine there which we don't want to interrupt - plus it is hard to find good day care and if we took her out, we would lose our spot and then have to start searching all over again for a new day care. It will be good for me to have the time with baby anyways. Though I will probably have the older one come home earlier than usual....but we pay whether she is there or not.

It was hard to start her out in day care, especially at 12 weeks. But we spent a lot of time researching, interviewing, and touring day care and day care providers in order to find nice people with a good reputation, a good location for us, and within our budget. Or, at least as much in our budget as day care could be (it is EXPENSIVE!). Although at first, we were essentially leaving her with people we don't know - they have been wonderful and now we DO know them, and trust them completely. Our daughter loves her day care and all the friends she has made there. It is great for developing social interaction skills :-)

I could go on and on about the subject but I will shut up now! lol

Answer 15

I'mm seven weeks pregnant and as a result ive had my nose in quite a few books! From what i can tell it isn't best for your child to be left in a nursery all day. Unfortunately whats best dosnt pay the bills :S

Without reading that i would also instinctively have said no i wouldn't leave them if i didnt have to either.  

Answer 16

I don't think you should leave her with anyone you don't really know or trust because for all you know, they could be a person who could potentially harm your child and you'd have no knowing of this. Remember. They would be a complete stranger. Imagine walking down the street and just handing over your daughter to a stranger and to ask her to look after her for however long. You just wouldn't do it, would you?

Leave her with someone you know, trust and who can handle the job responsively.

I hope this helps! :)