Would you leave your 1 yr old with his/her Grandparents while you go on vacation?

Question

My husband and I got pregnant pretty soon into our relationship and we got married before the baby was born. We never went on a honey moon... we didn't even have a wedding ceremony, we went to the courthouse. My son is now 7 weeks old and my husband and I are talking about finally taking our honeymoon vacation next summer in Maui. His parents are absolutely awesome and they adore our little one so they would have no problem with taking him for a week... in fact they would love it and I know they would take great care of him. I'm not sure if I'll be able to leave him for nearly a week though! I know it is still a good ways away in the future but we have to make a decision now so that we can plan our trip. Is it wrong to leave him for a week? Will he be scared and upset and feel abandoned? I just feel guilty every time I think about it! Even though I know they will take great care of him and spoil him rotten I still know that I'll be worried about his well being and I'm not sure I'll even be able to enjoy myself. BUT I know my husband and I need this, we haven't ever gotten to do anything like this together. (we have to do it next yr since we are using his freequent flyer miles and hotel points because they expire) Is it okay to go on this vacation? Would you do it if you were in my shoes?

Answer 1

I would say go for it.  If you trust his parents and they are good with your son and everything then i would go for it.  Take some time for you and your husband and at a year old that is an ok time I think for him to spend some time with grandma and grandpa.  

Answer 2

Personally I wouldn't because I would have a heck of a time nursing the baby from Maui! ;)

Answer 3

Don't take the vacation.  You should've thought of that before the baby came.  I know, I know.  Things happen...riiight.  My wife and I have 2 boys, both came early in our marriage.  We didn't have a honeymoon either.  But ya know what, we are going to wait until our children are old enough to understand what a vacation is before we leave them with anyone, and it wouldn't be for a week.  1 year is too early to leave your baby for that long.  Put your child first or give him up for adoption to good parents who won't leave him.  Hope that helps.

Answer 4

By the time your child turns one, you will probably be very ready for a vacation! Thats a whole year from now....trust me you'll need it. And there is no need to feel guilty, its not like you'd be leaving your child with someone you don't know. You're leaving him with family whom you can trust. It would be very unhealthy for you and your hubby NOT to take this vacation because of your worries. Relax!

Answer 5

go for it.. if you trust you in laws then do it - only if you are comfortable.

forget same of the harsh answers we are all human make mistakes you learn from them.  i sure you don't regret having your baby but sometimes people can forget that mums/dads need a break at times - for the sake of the relationship too.

Answer 6

If you know they will take great care of him, then take the trip!  Keeping your marriage on solid footing should be a top priority for you, not just for your sake and your husband's, but for your child's as well.  That means taking the time to be alone and to do things as a couple.  It doesn't mean you are selfish for wanting to have time alone.

EDIT (To Dame):  I think you're being more than a bit harsh.  Wanting to spend time with her husband doesn't mean the OP hasn't bonded with her baby.  Children have the best chance at better life outcomes when they are raised in a loving, two-parent family.  But people often make the mistake of letting kids, work, and the stresses of everyday life come between them and their marriage, putting it last on the priority list because they just end up taking it for granted.  She isn't "giving up her child at the drop of a hat and running off," nor is she treating him like a pet--she is taking a trip to have some much-needed alone time with her husband.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to take some time alone to reconnect with your spouse, getting away from everything and spending time alone as a couple.  It is healthy for couples to take the time to be together.  A strong marriage is the foundation for a strong family, and leaving their baby for a week with his very capable grandparents isn't going to scar him for life.

Answer 7

GO FOR IT!!  By then, you will be ready for a break!!  You can call your son every night if you want.  ENJOY your vacation and your husband!!

Answer 8

This is not good - you are saying "I know my husband and I need this' when the child is just 1 year old - what is it going to be like in five years time.  You have a child, you are a unit of three; not two.

I am also suprised that a mother of one, and a one year old or a seven week old it does not matter  - would freely and willingly give up her child at the drop of a hat to run off on a belated honeymoon.  You skipped the wedding and the honeymoon bit when you decided to or got pregnant.

To be honest, this is not good at all - it appears you have not boneded with your child - and if you husband is all for the idea, he has not bonded with his child.

A child is not a pet to be put up somewhere whenever you feel like a holiday.

Answer 9

I used to hate leaving my first child too.  When I did, I couldn't enjoy myself because all I could do was think about her!!!  Take a few overnighters between now and when you go on vacation.  This way, your in-laws will get some "practice" time in and can let you know if there were any problems/questions.  Your baby will learn that he can survive a night or two without you, and most importantly, you will be more relaxed and enjoy your vacation knowing that everything is OK and your in-laws know all the nap/bedtime routines etc.  You need the break, and your husband and you need alone time.  Trust me, pretty soon you'll be begging ANYONE to take the kids!!!!!!

Answer 10

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

I would. I wish I had.

It's a week. It's not wrong. It's not irresponsible. Life and pleasure does not end after you have a child. Your son wouldn't even enjoy it at all. You guys need to take time together.

My husband and I were in a situation similar to yours, and we never got the chance to take a real honeymoon. We still regret it four years later.

So I say do it. If your ILs are awesome, then it's a great opportunity for you.